Posted By: Lutra Lady On: 8/20/2009

Title: Married Couple Are To Blame

The bottom line is that there would be no marital rape if both parties were truly respective to the vows they took. A husband shouldn't have to beg his wife for peice and a wife shouldn't have to feel like she's just a quick fix after a long day. If couples really were genuine with each other they would know the difference of being intimate instead of being sexually selfish. They would understand each others wants and needs - a man would understand that a headache is not always an excuse but an actual FACT and to back up off the pregnant belly when his wife is feeling sore, and a woman would understand that yes, men really can't think when they are aroused most times. It's bad enough that 1/2 of all marriages end up in divorce. Can you imagine the amount of rich lawyers we will have once this bill is passed? Can you also imagine how this 'Christian' nation will fall by allowing somewhat supporting shacking up? Who'd want to get married with all these loopholes. For heaven's sake, find a church, take couples counseling or a pre-marital course and learn to respect each other.

Posted By: Voltaire On: 8/20/2009

Title: Progressive PLPs?

Here is another question Reggie - where are the progressive PLPs on this issue. They should not be silenced just because BJ Nottage said this. I KNOW there are some PLP leaders and parliamentarians who do not agree that a husband should have a right to rape his wife. Are they going to be cowards and keep silent for fear of helping the FNM on this one? Shame on them too.

Posted By: Reggie On: 8/20/2009

Title: What?

Did anyone read Bernard Nottage's nonsense in that other paper today? He said the PLP need to hear more about the proposed law because the Christian Council need 30 days to think about their position. So let me get this straight... the official opposition have concerns because a bunch of unelected, unenlightened bible thumpers, who think adults are not able to make their own decisions on what movies they should watch, have concerns. Sounds like typical PLP pandering to the unthinking preacher followers - just like before the 2002 election. Shame Dr Nottage, I thought better of you.

Posted By: young and passionate On: 8/20/2009

Title:

@ FNM and PLP suck A lot of what you said about both parties is true but what you must realize is that most if not all the violence in this country is related to a particulary mindset. Deep seeded beliefs about masculinity and latent male anger are at play here. Bringing issues like this to the fore are a good barometer of how much public thought has progressed. We need to start addressing what is plaguing our people on a mental level, otherwise nothing is going to get better, we're just going to get more violent until we're completely out of control. We can fix the court system we'll just have more cases. We can build a bigger jail but we'll just have more inmates.

Posted By: young and passionate On: 8/20/2009

Title:

Over the past few weeks or so I have become deeply saddened by the sentiments of a large group of men in this country. The Tribune headline a few days ago read something to the effect that passing this marital rape law will create a 'NATION OF RAPISTS'. Hello Bahamas, we already are there already. We are number 1 is this region. Has anyone been paying attention to the news papers, and various other news outlets? A few days ago both the Tribune and the Guardian were both littered with stories about rape. Serial rapists are on the loose, rapists in law enforcement, rapists in our schools and now it seems, rapists in our homes. I have listened very intently to all of the arguments against this bill and it has become very clear to me that many people are misconstruing the issue and for very selfish reasons. I'll be quite frank, men who do not force themselves on their wives generally will not have a problem with this law. The only people who will strongly oppose are men who are guilty of this themselves and women who have had it done to them but lack either the courage or the autonomy to condemn the act, and of course we cannot forget the political opponents of the present Government who perceive that there may be some political mileage to be won from this debate. I'll be the first to admit that being old fashioned does have its benefits but the fact remains thought that we have a lot of archaic thinkers in this country, particularly women who have been 'brainwashed' into thinking that any injustices brought against them and their children in many instances during the course of their marriage should be burried with them in the grave and never brought to light. Wake up my people! Is this the fate that older Bahamians wish to hand down to their sons and daughters? Bare in mind that this is the same mentality that has seen incest and rape of innocent children proliferated throughout the years. The numbers of reported cases are just now beginning to tell the gruesome story. I make reference to other instances of violence against children and women (who are the most affected in both groups) because it is all indicative of a very misogynistic rationale that inflicts a great many males in the Bahamas. Bullying, intimidation and outright sexism are the norm in many quarters and many injustices have been suffered by those who are most vulnerable, our women and children. The veil of silence is slowly but surely being lifted and the guilty are AFRAID!!!! And they should be for good reason because what is done in the dark will eventually come to the light. 1) Those who oppose the law because they claim that it will open the door for civil unions being on par with marriages in this country are delusional. As a young unwed Bahamian woman I'm sure I speak for the majority of my peers (18-25) when I say that marriage in the Bahamas would just about cease altogether if this 'human right' is denied us. Older and married Bahamians can argue all they like but the fact is that the institution of marriage would 'DIE' without us. WE ARE THE FUTURE, we are the chosen generation. 2) Opponents of the bill who say that this will encourage Bahamian men to sweatheart are reaching. Any woman with half a brain knows that they can work, cook, clean, juggle her babies on her hips and put out for her husband every night and many times, the husband would still cheat. Men cheat, it is what most, certainly not all but most do and no one knows a husband like his wife so if this woman knows that her husband is promiscuous and not particularly fond of using protection, when we simply take into account the rate of AIDS and HIV infection in this country, that should be grounds alone for a woman to be able to say HELL NO! Come how selfish could a man be to believe he should be able to have sex with whomever, however he chooses and his wife should never tell him no. Sounds like a sociopath to me. 3) Those who oppose this law because they claim it will lead to many 'FALSE' accusations. First of all, who are you to determine if the accusation is false or accurate? If you believe that a spouse cannot rape their spouse then of course you would call such an accusation false. Definitions of rape are in every dictionary known to man... become acquainted with one. If we used this argument then the act that is rape would have never been recognized for any group of woman. Maybe we should pass a law worldwide to ban the production/use of contraceptives because children 'might' use them. Maybe we should make it illegal for people to go onto the internet because they may misrepresent themselves. My point is there are many things we could 'NOT' do to prevent people taking advantage but we cannot afford to deny people basic rights like the right to their own bodies. 4) I cannot forget those who argue that this is against biblical law. To them I say A woman's body is not like a man's. She will not always be ready when her mate is from a biological stand point. Forcing sex on a woman when her body is not ready can cause mental and physical trauma, bruising and tearing to her genitals, regardless of whether the man inflicting the trauma is a lover or stranger. Men need to know that just because you are her husband does not mean she will not feel violated, used and objectified. She may become withdrawn and detached from you even when you are both 'willing' or not even in the act at all. If you would willingly to subject your wife to such feelings with no consideration then you too are disobeying God's law by not loving your wife as Christ loves the church or even as your own body because every man knows when his body is spent and needs food/water/rest, likewise women have the same knowledge of their own bodies. I hope for the sake of future generations that the Government passes this bill. These are serious times that we live in and whether we choose to be honest with ourselves or not there are some very disturbed sociopathic and inhumane people living among us. Normal people should not be splitting hairs over this issue, we should be protecting those who are subject to the savages that are out there.

Posted By: Stanley Jackson Sr. On: 8/19/2009

Title: FNM & PLP SUCK

Bahamains are being slaughted day and night in their homes and this stupid Government is fixated on a marital rape law. The PLP is just as guilty because from L.O. was Prime Minister crime in the Bahamas was spiraling out of control. Both administration failed to deal with criminals properly while the justice system became a revolving door for the criminal element in our society. Neither government saw the need to expand the court system to keep pace with the rising rate of crime. The FNM and PLP need to stop farting around and amend the constitution "YESTERDAY" to close the revolving door with the bail situation. And room needs to be made available at our outdated prison for all the murderes and other hard core criminals out on bail. DEBATE THAT!!! Our polititians strut around calling themselves "learnered" but their actions prove them to be idiots. Otherwise obviously we would not be in this mess. These clowns, both PLP & FNM manage the Country from a "deep sea fishing position" ....facing backwards while the Country is moving forward. Which means they can only address a situation AFTER it has passed and is in crises mode. However they seem to have enough sense to hog all the business for themselves and a few friends. Check what the P.M. & M.P.'s own!!! I calmly await the FNM & PLP to come back to my door seeking my vote...NOT HAPPENING..BEEN THERE DONE THAT...THEY ALL FAILED!!!

Posted By: Anonymous On: 8/19/2009

Title:

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA....leave it to a man to make such comments. A man has needs and is the bread winner and entrepreneur???? Mr. Angel-X, you need to articulate yourself appropriately before you start making comments number one. And number two, this adulterous argument you put forth, well we can all tell what you are thinking about and your motives. Don't get me wrong a mutual respectful relationship is the key to marriage. However, based on statistics it it very obvious WOMEN are NOT the one abusing and misusing their husbands. Its men, men like you it seems, that feel as though if you bringing in a little extra money you are entitled to what ever you want. I have no problem laying down and making love to my husband. BUT if I SAY NO, it is my prerogative. IF, I want to say no EVERYDAY, it is MY RIGHT as a HUMAN BEING. Not as woman, not as a wife, AS A HUMAN.

Posted By: Miss Understood On: 8/19/2009

Title:

Angel-X: If I could understand what you're rabbiting on about, I might be able to make a comment.

Posted By: Angel-X On: 8/19/2009

Title:

Last comment ended "men respect your huabnd and respect yourself". not women respect your husband, I am sorry for your husband if you are married. Anyway moving along. As a man I will take the lead and take the blame because none of us is wothout sin and can't make a mistakes. Lets say I am married, braed winner entrepreneur that has the potential of dropping everything and starting over and still be successful. Fall into temptation and cheats on his wife, and she was to find out. Now we are talking about a woman which scorn hell has no fury. Decide that this man I married went out and cheat on me, I am waiting for him to come home and have passionate sex with him then I am going to call the police and report that he rape me. This bring me to my point how is this rape is to be proven at can't be proven by intercourse that is natural between two married people , it can't be proven through a few scratch and bruises that can be caused due to hot passionate sex. People we do not want to have sex with an ill woman, we don't want to have sex with a tired woman but ya can't be tired everyday or else, come on I'm your husband with needs cut back on some of the things you do in a day. Don't cook we could go out for dinner but you know what I want. Please educate us what has to take place, what has to be the status of the relationship, what pattern of physical bodily harm we will look for before dragging an innocent man before the courts whose only crime is adultry and the penalty for this should be DIVORCE...

Posted By: houseofspice On: 8/19/2009

Title: rape

rape is rape no matter who does it

Posted By: Rik Skegnetu On: 8/19/2009

Title:

What all this boils down is one fact ... black Bahamian men have no respect for women. No doubt we'll have some religious nut quoting the Bible, saying it's OK for a man to beat/rape/do whatever to his wife. And this nut will be backed up by another who will quote the Bible, saying it's OK to use the Bible for whatever twisted purpose you want. This issue is a good indicator of the society we live in. A society of no respect.

Posted By: Anonymous On: 8/19/2009

Title:

"Each day you will be a potential rapist in your own home if you initiate sex with your wife without her consent," he told the Rotary Club of West Nassau earlier this month." AND rightfully so, a woman should have the right to have refuse to engage in sex with her husband if she so pleases. It is not a woman's responsibility to please her husband sexually no matter what. You mean to tell me that, if a woman decides tonight that she is feeling ill and does not want to have sex HER HUSBAND HAS THE RIGHT TO TAKE IT???!!!! That is absurd and ridiculous. One would hope that as a husband you would respect your wife's wishes and wait for another time. However, the law needs to protect women from those "husbands" who lack that respect for their wives. This country is ridiculous and even PROPOSING to justify that a husband has a right to take sex from his wife just shows how much we as a people have deteriorated and nothing is going to change until WE OPEN OUR EYES and respect each other. Everything begins in the home, men respect your wives and women respect yourself.