Published On:Tuesday, August 17, 2010

By Maggie Bain

GETTING a group of people to come together in agreement on any one subject is hard enough, but asking them to define "devoted love" somehow seems to unify them.

Romantic love and devotion appear to walk hand-in-hand.

It is the ultimate love, the pure love and the one that many of us struggle with on a daily basis.

If we all enter this world in the same way, then what makes one person more generous than another?

Could we really take it back to genetics? Surely, it is all to do with the hand we are dealt and how we emerge from life's tough knocks.

Our early "love role models" are of course our parents and extended family. How they demonstrate love to everyone around them will lay deep roots within our heart and mind.

We interpret body language, the spoken word and mirror our own behaviour. What better compliment is there for a parent or a child to be told they resemble each other?

Interestingly, forgotten mannerisms may pop up in other generations and remind us of loved ones we have lost. Qualities that then refute the argument that it is all learnt behavior.

Few would argue that long committed marriages demonstrate devoted love. Remaining together through thick and thin, and honouring "until death do you part" is without a doubt extremely commendable.

Coming to terms with early unrealistic expectations and human imperfection can throw many marriages off course. But is devotion really just commitment?

How many people could unequivocally say that they show devoted love to their partners? Selflessly giving in thought, feeling and deed. Forsaking your own wants and needs to bring them peace and contentment.

Not in fear of repercussion or a sense of duty, but freely and willingly.

Is this only possible if the other person is worthy of such love?

Would it be able to flourish if it is not well received and appreciated?

Perhaps, it is because of feelings for your partner that devotion has developed.

You adore them completely and channel your every thought and action towards them.

You feel it when they trip and fall; yet we are able to quickly rebound and celebrate their successes.

You cherish their very being, and live life solely to make them happy.

When love is planted so carefully it flourishes and grows.

The old adage "the more we give, the more we receive" works for many.

In a healthy working partnership we are conscientious students and quickly surpass original expectations.

Life has a way of coming full circle and grown children discover, perhaps for the first time, the rewarding satisfaction of taking care of their aging parents.

Viewing it as a reward then turns our thinking towards a delight instead of a chore.

Showing our children our optimistic attitude can only help when it comes to our time for additional help.

How we face illness in others tells not only of our love for them but how important we place their love for us.

Possibly one of the most humbling acts of devotion of all is the gift of life. To be able to look beyond our tunnel vision and see everything and everyone in a new light of possibilities.

Even if we have very little to give monetarily or have limited free time, blood donation removes all excuses.

The Good Samaritan is within all of us, and the ability to pass on a charitable act does not go by unnoticed.

Only when we have lived with the death of a loved one or the impending end of life do we understand the need to cling on and savour every minute.

What we have taken for granted now becomes precious.

Educating ourselves and making our families aware of our personal feelings towards organ donation should be added to life's priorities.

The beautiful act of giving life when one has ended can only accentuate the continuum of life.

We can start a life of devoted love at any time in our lives. It may require some introspection or some relationship changes, but either way the power is inside all of us.

To be able to give and receive love fully is an attitude and it begins within each of us.

* Maggie Bain is an individual and couples relationship therapist. She is a registered nurse and a certified clinical sex therapist.

Listen to 'Love on the Rock' with Maggie Bain every Thursday 5pm-6pm on Island FM 102.9.

For appointments call 364-7230, e-mail relatebahamas@yahoo.com or visit www.relatebahamas.blogspot.com.