The Tribune

By Michelle Miller

Many people believe that highly touted intellect alone is the key to a successful life.  Yet, without positive emotional capital, intellectual success slowly begins to falter.

Your sound emotional capital is the key to a meaningful life of well-being.  Indeed, emotional intelligence is life’s golden ticket.  It will take you up, over and through any challenge.  Intellectual, financial, and spiritual success all hinge on your capacity to be the host, rather than the hostage to your emotions.

When it comes to emotions, you are either taking the lead, being led or as some may say, being misled.  Environments with systemic anti-social challenges are a clear indication that many individuals are hostages to their emotions, whether knowingly or unknowingly.

The point is when you place more attention on external motivation rather understanding the internal promptings of how you feel, you find yourself living from the outside in instead of the inside out.

Understand that your emotions or feelings are your internal GPS, designed to direct your emotional expressions through your thoughts and behaviour.  This GPS informs you of the feelings germinating within you. While it tells you which feeling you are experiencing, such as anger, hate, joy, fear, sadness etc., it does not tell you why you are feeling those emotions.

This is where the work begins. Our emotions are a powerful resource.  Perhaps the most powerful resource we possess.  They drive our motivation for everything we do, be it positive or negative.  Consequently, you cannot assert yourself as a leader, without first leading your emotions.   

Since leadership is about leading people, leaders are typically driven by the power of emotional persuasion.  In one way or another, they seek to persuade others to think, speak, and or behave a certain way.  

This is not a bad thing, if they are sincerely leading you to an improved outcome.  However, being led in circles, with no measurable progress, amounts to being misled.

It is at this intersection where you must determine if you are in fact the host or the hostage to your emotions.  This is not a small issue.  Rest assured that if you were not careful, somebody would attempt to capitalize on your emotional availability.  If you do not have the emotional capacity to be the host, you will unknowingly become the hostage in today’s emotional Ponzi scheme.

No place is this more evident than in the Media, Politics and the Religious arenas.  People go through waves of emotions every time they read the papers, listen to the radio, or watch the news.  Or attend some political rally or religious outreach.

What would become of these emotively driven sectors, were it not for access to the emotional capital of the people?  What is the dollar value of the emotional currency misspent in these arenas on a consistent basis?

And what about the emotions of men and women? Many believe that women are more emotional than men are.  However, let us calmly look at the facts beginning with the fact that human beings are emotional first and rational second.  As infants, we learn to connect with our feelings long before we develop cognitive skills to think.

Consequently, men and women have the same powerful emotions.  It is not that women are more emotional than men are, but rather that women are more likely to express their emotions while men are more likely to suppress their emotions.   

The challenge here is emotional suppression slowly leads to aggression and or depression. We see the high levels of aggression amongst men.  These unfettered emotions of anger, fear, rage, and or jealousy indicate a need for deeper analysis.    

But what do these facts tell you about your personal stewardship for your emotional capital?  Are you the host or the hostage to your emotions?   

Everything you do or say carries an emotional price.  Be mindful of this fact in your daily discourse. The host is powerful while as the hostage is powerless.  Make it your priority to position yourself as the host rather than the hostage.

Deeper still, you are created in the image of the Master.  You are born to be the host to life itself.  This means that you ultimately have control over, rather than being under control.  As a good steward of your emotions, do not squander it on the streets. Place a high value on your emotional currency and discriminately select the way it is expressed or expended.

Being the host takes courage and heart.  As you make today the day that you take the lead in your life, pay attention to your emotional investments and how much control you are openly giving away. Nobody or no entity ought to have more control over your emotions than you do.  

Remember you are born as the host, do not allow yourself to become the hostage. Now is the perfect time to shift your life paradigm.  

What do you think?

Please send your comments to coaching242@yahoo.com or 429-6770.