The Tribune

By Rev Angela C Bosfield Palacious

IN 2 Samuel 13: 1-22, we have the story of Tamar, Amnon and Absolom. They are three of King David’s many children.

Amnon, the firstborn, is due to be the next king, and is the half-brother of the other two mentioned. Absolom is fourth in line for the crown, but will lead a rebellion against his father. Tamar, Absolom’s full sister, is very beautiful and obedient, qualities which will lead to her downfall.

King David’s family is in a moral mess. Amnon thinks that he is in love with Tamar, but it is obviously lust. He tells their first cousin Jonadab (David’s nephew) how he feels, and Jonadab tells him to pretend to be sick in order to lure her into his bedroom and rape her. If Amnon had really loved her, he would want to honour her, protect her reputation (as Joseph wished to do with Mary) and marry her as she had suggested when he approached her in his bedroom. It was permitted at the time to marry close relatives, but he was not interested in a future with her, only the present act. Then, after it is all over, he throws her out of the house suggesting that she had made advances toward him.

It is an unspeakable crime, but instead of remorse and repentance, he hates her more than he loved her. David is angry but does nothing to his favoured son. Absalom later kills Amnon because of this, and eventually tries to usurp his father’s throne, but at this point he seems cold and even callous in his response to her situation. When Absolom sees Tamar weeping with ashes on her head and her robe torn he says: “Has Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet now, my sister, he is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart. And Tamar lived in her brother Absolom’s house, a desolate woman.” (v. 20 NRSV).

What a shameful tragedy and indescribable desolation indeed. How often are victims told not to take the violation of their personhood to heart? How many desolate women do you think are in our country? How many desolate boys and girls live in the homes we pass each day? How does Absolom’s comment – if this is all he ever says because he is planning revenge – help her in her desolation?

What should her father have done to comfort her and punish the perpetrator? Do you think that David did nothing because he felt guilty about his past when he committed adultery with Bathsheba and had her husband killed in battle? When her brother Absolom is later killed for his attempted coup, what do you think happened to her as nothing more is said about her?

Incest, rape, murder, adultery, rebelliousness, lack of parental discipline and the favouring of one child over another, are still with us. This is like a storm raging in so many families. Yet, we know from the New Testament that God can calm the raging sea and wild winds. Let us continue to share with our people that God can eventually heal the desolate heart, can forgive sinners and ease their guilt even as they must face the consequences of their actions.

Ask yourself the following questions: Is there a sin that I am planning or ungodly advice that I am offering to someone else? Is there an inconsolable grief or an intense fury that I have not yet brought to God? Is there someone whom I am cloaking or refusing to discipline? Pray for God to help us all to learn from this family’s mistakes.