The Tribune

By MICHELLE MILLER

THE first step of any effective life strategy must be to move. Moving, in my view, is the undercurrent of all of life itself. Nothing stays the same. Everything moves.

When it comes to living the life you love, you must move.

The problem is most people don’t move, not because they don’t want to, but because they are literally blocking their own way.

Let’s face it, we are more conditioned to be our own worst enemy rather than our best friend. Self-criticism is one of the most popular pastimes for a large number of folks. People think about what they did wrong before they highlight what they did well.

Being stuck due to fear and clouded perception is real, at least it certainly feels real. This is most true when it comes to going after big dreams or goals. That’s why the first step to any real success is learning how to get the hell out of your own way.

But do we really see ourselves as being in the way? Most often we don’t. Instead, we take a delight in blaming others for why we are stuck or unable to progress. Herein lays the biggest part of the challenge.

Whether you agree or not, you are always 100 per cent liable for your life.

It is said that an estimated 95 per cent of individuals allow their dreams to die along the path due to life challenges. Only that focused five per cent follow the bread crumbs towards what they truly desire.

While this is an alarming ratio, the more disturbing fact is that the biggest reason why so most don’t follow through is due to their own self-defeating thinking.

Author and medical doctor Mark Houston says: “Self-defeating behaviour is the single most common reason that people seek psychotherapy. It is a poison preventing us from achieving the love, success and happiness that we want in our lives.”

In other words, the root of your external symptoms links to your own internal view/value of yourself. Are you moving or blocking your own way? If you are not sure consider the following.

You may be blocking your way if:

1. You operate on a negative thinking pattern

2. You doubt your own ability to achieve

3. You believe that you are not good enough

4. You’re holding onto the past

5. You are not investing in your mind development

Those who are moving do the exact opposite of this list, which is only a tip of the iceberg. What’s important here is to observe that everything focuses on you.

To experience any real success you must transition from self-defeating to self-enriching thinking. From being your biggest obstacle to being your biggest opportunity, because in fact you are.

The single greatest effort you can make in breaking free from self-sabotage is to repair your relationship with yourself, which in itself is a challenge since most people operate on a self-disconnected status.

Even so, begin now to stop thinking negatively about yourself. Stop doubting your abilities. Stop craving others’ approval and get busy approving yourself.

Make an unbreakable agreement with yourself that you deserve to a live a life of fulfilment, a life less ordinary. By being the phenomenal person you are born to be, you free yourself from the prison of fear and you find your fearlessness to live a colossal life.

Leader to leader, make today the day that you give yourself permission to get out of your own way and move towards your greatness. Own your power to live the life that you love.

What do you think? Please send your comments to coaching242@yahoo.com or 429-6770.

• Michelle M Miller is a certified life coach and leadership expert. Visit www.michellemmiller.com or send snail mail to PO Box CB-13060