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A COMIC'S VIEW: Death panels, ninja suits and flag follies

By Inigo ‘Naughty’ zenicazelaya

This week, National Health Insurance (NHI) and crime continued to dominate the headlines while another horrific act of terrorism thousands of miles away had all the right Bahamians arguing for all the wrong reasons.

The best policy

Straight out of the gate this week, Bahamians got a chance to see the PricewaterhouseCoopers report on the proposed NHI scheme the Christie Administration seems bent on introducing to the wallets of the Bahamian populace.

Not only did we learn that millions of dollars will have to fall from the sky (specifically, our pockets) to pay for the insurance that no one seems to want right now, we also learned that Prime Minister Christie resents that one daily used the term “death panel” in connection with the scheme.

But after closer examination it seems the term was used because, well, there will apparently be a panel and they will, in fact, have a say over who may end up dead. Seems pretty straightforward to me.

More curious still, in his objection to the use of the term (which he labelled as “nonsense”) Prime Minister Christie actually admitted to having served on a “death panel” as a young Minister of Health.

I don’t know who is advising the PM but they might want to tell him that denying something would happen by admitting that same thing did happen when very few were aware it could happen is probably not the best political move.

Follow that? Me neither. But that’s basically the confused state I was left in after Mr Christie’s speech.

These new terms in Bahamian media like “death panel” and “pre-existing conditions” are not so new after all. Mr Christie and his team need only to look as close as the United States to see that introducing any kind of “universal health care” is not an easy road.

For the public, the first question is always “who’s going to pay for this?” Once you say the word “taxes” you lose 80 per cent of your support.

The next question is likely “what do I get for my money?” And all people will hear is “Blah blah blah Princess Margaret Hospital”. At which point another 18 per cent of support drops off.

Then there will be some who will hang on for dear life right until they learn there could be a situation when there is one dialysis machine at PMH and two persons in dire need of it.

You guessed it. It’ll be a swift death by “death panel” for NHI in terms of public support.

For someone as politically savvy as Prime Minister Christie, I’m surprised he is allowing NHI to continue to further burn his already crispy reputation with voters. There are some who swear Mr Christie is only using NHI as his Plan B legacy builder. (Apparently Plan A was Baha Mar. ‘Nuff said.)

If that’s the case, it must be desperate times in the Christie Administration.

First of all, when building a legacy these days, why attach your name to anything with the word “insurance” in the title?

“National Insurance” worked for the late Prime Minister Pindling but that was before scores of Bahamians lost cars, homes and – most importantly – family members while dutifully paying premiums that amounted to diddly squat in the end.

Do you know what a similar scheme is called in the US? The Affordable Care Act. Because everyone loves “affordable” and who can argue against the word “care”?

Actually, most Americans refer to the ACA as “Obamacare”. And if a Democrat takes the White House next November then chances are Obamacare will live on for decades.

The act has been debated in Congress, debated in the media, debated in boardrooms, debated in the streets and debated in the US Supreme Court. And survived. Legacy accomplished.

So far, we’ve only got a supposedly “leaked” peek inside NHI and it already feels DOA. In Mr Christie’s case, I hope he has a plan C through to Z. NHI will not be a legacy lifesaver.

And (to his chagrin, I’m sure) absolutely no one calls it “Christiecare”.

But when an administration (and its surrogates) operate in secrecy while promising open and honest discussions the truth is it leads you to wonder if Mr Christie does, in fact, care.

Crime and

punishment

Did anyone else notice Minister of National Security Dr Bernard Nottage walking through “crime hotbed” neighbourhoods wearing a Ninja mask while holding an automatic weapon this week?

Okay, so I don’t know if in fact it was Dr Nottage under the mask in that picture we saw of the police officer that went viral on Facebook this week but wouldn’t that have made for some great headlines if it was?

Sadly though, Dr Nottage (who has come under heavy political fire) has seemingly decided to find a bunker somewhere to hide out until things die down.

Both he and his junior Minister of National Security Keith Bell have taken a beating in the media for the government’s tepid response to crime.

Surprisingly, it was Police Commissioner Ellison Greenslade who finally emerged in front of the cameras as the Royal Bahamas Police Force staged walkthroughs and stops. But before they could swoop in and “surprise” the criminals, somehow everyone and their mother with a smartphone was able to broadcast them leaving the barracks en masse in their “all black everything” ski masks.

Was it a publicity stunt? I’m not sure. But I may have overheard a junior officer refer to it as “Operation CYA”.

I don’t blame Mr Greenslade for the “show” of strength. After all, didn’t the Prime Minister say he had put Mr Greenslade on “timeout” and basically forced the Commissioner to wait in his office for hours studying some crime solutions report?

Brilliant move, Mr PM.

Because when Mr Greenslade emerged after 520 hours of waiting on Mr Christie’s prompt return he had the answer to crime in the form of a new script. We’ll call this movie “Operation Broken Windows Part 2”. And it stars Steven Seagal. Hence the Ninja suits.

But at least we are seeing something from the Commissioner of Police. I will give him the benefit of the doubt until I am clear on his methods. When will the rest of the Christie Cabinet enter the scene? And, more importantly, where is Dr Nottage and his nunchucks?

From Paris,

with love

After the horrific terrorist attack that claimed the lives of more than 100 French citizens and injured many others, Facebook Bahamas staged their own internal war when some people objected vehemently to other Bahamian social media users including the red, white and blue flag of France in their profile pic.

All I can say to those objecting to the show of support to those affected by the latest ISIS attack is “please, cut it out”. Believe me, offering a prayer to another country immediately on the radar because of something as horrific as that does not make those Bahamians who chose to do so unpatriotic.

Instead of spewing vitriol, perhaps we should all get down on our knees and pray that the world never has to put up black, aquamarine and gold flags because something that barbaric has happened to us.

• Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya is the resident stand-up comic at Jokers Wild Comedy Club at the Atlantis, Paradise Island, resort and presents ‘Mischief and Mayhem in da AM’ from 6am to 10am, Monday to Friday, and ‘The Press Box’ sports talk show on Sunday from 10am to 1pm on KISS FM 96.1. He also writes a sports column in The Tribune on Tuesday. Comments and questions to naughty@tribunemedia.net.

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