The Tribune

By BIANCA CARTER

They say that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, and yes, we all have things that we like and find attractive in others. We don’t all like the same things, and I find it interesting the science has come out with studies and scientific evidence that suggests that we see things based on symmetry, and are attracted to things about a person that we aren’t typically cognizant of; it’s more instinctual.

But what about how we feel about ourselves? It seems that the common feeling among us, especially women, is that there are things about our outward appearances that we don’t like. Sure, it’s pretty normal to not like everything about our appearance, but why does it seem that we can’t see what other people see in us?

Over the weekend, I spend some time with a young and beautiful family. I was lucky to be able to photograph the family and practice my photography skills. I really loved the diversity of the family, the father Bahamian and the mother with a Middle Eastern background. Their child was a beautiful mixture of both.

As we started to take a few pictures there were some angles and compositions that I really liked, and that I thought were beautiful and strong. When the photos were edited and published, I was so happy the way they turned out. I showed the family and they were very excited as well, but after viewing all of the photos, I realised that I had taken many photos of the lady’s side profile. I loved her profile, it was strong and defined, and she had dimples that could be seen as she smiled. But she didn’t love her profile like I did, so she preferred the other pictures of herself. It’s amazing that the things we don’t like about our appearances are the things that others find beautiful. Like freckles, for example. I hated my freckles growing up, and even sometimes now they aren’t my favourite, but it’s what some people find attractive about me.

We’re never satisfied with what we are given in life. We want straight hair if we have curly; we want blonde hair if we’re brunette; we want to be tall if we’re short, and the list could go on forever.

I suppose there will always be things we don’t like about our appearance, but we should always love ourselves despite that. Teaching our daughters to have a healthy self-image is what I’m most concerned about when we have these unfounded hang-ups about the way we look. Like many of you, I want my kids to grow up to love who they are, imperfections and all. No one is perfect and that’s what makes us so beautiful, too. I try really hard not to use words that are negative towards my outer appearance in front of my kids, not because I want them to think everything is perfect, but rather I don’t want them to start with their own inner dialogue that points out their flaws, rather than their beauty. Let’s be a little kinder to ourselves and others this week.

Love and hugs!

• Bianca Carter is a certified lactation counsellor and founder of Bun in the Oven. For more information, email her at info@babybunintheoven.com. Follow BITO on Facebook at babybunintheoven, and check out the BITO Blog every Monday and Thursday at http://babybunintheoven.com.