The Tribune

By Rev Angela C

Bosfield Palacious

THERE are so many hurting people in our country who are trying to come to the aid of others while bleeding emotionally themselves. There are parents with children, adults with elderly parents, persons in the helping professions, those in the service industry and uniformed branches, the civil service and elsewhere. How do we help each other to heal while helping?

We speak of impaired vision and hearing, so what about spiritual and emotional impairment.

What is your definition of impaired? Are we all somewhat impaired, so that it is a matter of varying degrees of impairment? When we look in the emotional mirror we all have to ask the question: “Am I in serious need of help?”

Who is the judge of what is normal and impaired? Who gives evidence in an office setting and what if it is a supervisor or colleague that is impaired? Who initiates the process?

We all have areas where we need help to heal and forgive. Self-evaluation, peer evaluation and various levels of accountability are all important ways to discover the truth about how we are performing.

Since there are so many types of impairment, with some being more obvious than others, let us consider the following list that is by no means exhaustive: addictions, mental illness, lack of forgiveness, guilt and shame, anger and rebelliousness, authority issues, inferiority complex, superiority complex, pride and conceit, fear of failure, being a manipulator or a violent, abusive person, or a chronic liar and cheater.

The path to healing may be short or long, simple or complex, depending on the individual. Prayer and counselling can uncover the evidence in a shorter space of time for most people. The journey is a similar in most cases:

1. The admission of the need for help

2. The acceptance of the help offered

3. The agreement to ongoing evaluation, monitoring, counselling, medication (if need be), with continued family and prayer support.

Once we are on firmer ground there are some approaches to continued healing that minimise the likelihood of a relapse: affirmation, accountability, collegial and family support, and membership in a small group.

In those instances in the workplace where there is a resistance to honest self-evaluation with a view to change, the following procedures may have to be put in place and be outlined in the staff manual: an individual interview, a board review and interview, the issuing of incentives and ultimatums with clear consequences, possible institutionalisation (if need be) and eventual termination (if there are no appropriate options left).

Action must be taken for the good of the individual and the organisation. Procrastination may be dangerous as things tend to escalate rather than resolve themselves. However, prevention is better than cure. The following guidelines may assist with proper selection in the first place: mandatory personality testing, stricter guidelines and a closely monitored probation period, early intervention, regular assessment and firmer control of the whole process.

If we speak our truth in love to ourselves and to others, if we seek wisdom from God in a saving and sanctifying relationship, we will minimise embarrassment and shame and maximise our healing and wholeness.