The Tribune

By AYANNA CLARKE

Tribune Features Editor

kherig@tribunemedia.net

Lamentations 3:40: “Let us examine our ways...”

At the top of the year we are comparing ourselves from last year and answering questions to truly appreciate how far we’ve come at the beginning of 2019.

Today’s question: Are you a crystal ball or a wrecking ball?

Crystal balls are historically used in the practice of feng shui to bring a calming energy to a space. Additionally, they are used by clairvoyants to guide, direct or inform the future. (Please don’t judge me just yet. This is just information.)

A wrecking ball damages old structures as preparation for the future as well. It does bring energy but that energy is invasive, and aggressive.

Both a crystal ball and a wrecking ball are alike in that they reveal and expose; they both give us something to build on or at least help us chart the way toward progress. But where the crystal ball illuminates and sheds a calming light on a situation, the wrecking ball antagonises and is sudden and brash in its revelations.

Before we go any further, I’m going to give you a few moments. Think about the persons you talk to, perhaps advise or assist with encouragement from time to time. Regarding each connection, ask yourself, “Am I a crystal ball or a wrecking ball?” I did an actual survey a few years back between groups of friends that I was working along with at the time. It was so funny to see them argue back and forth, one declaring full crystal or wrecking ball status, the other denying it vehemently.

Based on your personal response to the question, or the response of others (if you dare ask them), you’ll be amazed to learn that even though things seem the same, our experiences have given us the wisdom to see how we’ve changed and grown since last year.

Remember, I asked you to complete a self-evaluation about whether people see you as a crystal ball or a wrecking ball. This is not the first time I’ve put this question out there; and although I can’t share everything, this discussion gained some pretty interesting feedback from husbands and wives, best friends co-workers and family groups over time. A member of my Caribbean media group responded how he’s now in trouble because he told his wife she was a wrecking

ball even before she got a chance to finish the question.

To be totally transparent, I believe these characteristics work in tandem.

Here’s the thing: It is only those who are unwilling to expand themselves that always require only to be or experience the crystal ball. Similarly, only those who feel they must stress some leadership and influence want to be considered the wrecking ball all the time.

I believe we can’t be one, without being the other. Why do I say this? One needs only to look at the function of them both.

Remember we said that a crystal ball sheds light on a situation, or gives hints toward the future. We all know that there can’t be a building of anything unless something is ripped up, torn down or room is made for something new. This is where the wrecking ball comes in. As uncomfortable and abrasive as it is, there is a place for someone questioning bad decisions, tearing down old mindsets and using a little hard-earned wisdom and sharing some tough love.

In 2019, we are embracing change and the ability to open up lines of communication, share what we feel without judgement or ridicule.

Like I said we are just beginning this conversation. Until next week, enjoy who you have to be, when you have to be for those you love.

God bless you this week!