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A Comic's View: My Aunt Kay Would Have Put These Drivers In Their Rightful Place

By INIGO 'NAUGHTY' ZENICAZELAYA

HANDICAPPED? ..... NOT! JUST PLAIN STUPID!

MY late Aunt Kay, who was like my second mother and who also happened to be wheelchair bound in the latter portion of her life, was a source of inspiration and a pillar of strength to me throughout my life. In fact it has long been said that she’s where I get my “hard mouth” from.

In her time she lived up to that old adage “small axe fall big tree”.

Checking in at a “gigantic” 5 foot 2 inches she was always the protector and enforcer for the family. (Mainly getting my backside out of hot water on one of the many occasions my mouth signed a cheque my butt couldn’t cash.)

May 3 made a year she left to go and stir things up in heaven.

Tuesday, May 7, would have been her 84th birthday.

So I feel now it’s my duty and obligation to my dearly departed sweet Auntie, to continue to address a certain issue that not only affected her while she was alive, but other handicapped persons island-wide to this day; the abuse of “handicapped” parking spots by non handicapped persons.

BLUE MARKS THE SPOT

These spots were created to facilitate handicapped persons in their attempt to lead normal, productive lives, not to be abused by the “D” average jungaliss who’s just “flashing in” to top off their phone and grab a bar of “cake soap”.

It’s also not for the wannabe bad boy whose food order is ready.

It’s sad that in 2019 many drivers (both legal and the ones who bought their licences) don’t regard those blue lined spaces as hallowed ground; as in off limits unless you are truly handicapped.

THE TWILIGHT ZONE

More bizarre than this blatant disregard for common courtesy—and the law—are some of the excuses I’ve heard in my misadventures into parking ‘La La Land,’ where, on occasion, I’ve had to pull a page out of my aunt’s book and “bless’’ said transgressor:

  1. Kelly’s parking lot, Marathon Mall.

I questioned the offender to which she replied, “I just spend a gunk on dese nails for one wedding. You can’t see they match my head?” (They did match the purple, yellow and pink colours in her ghetto fabulous hairdo.) I can’t walk all the way across this big breezy parking lot and mess up my nails.”

It was clear her etiquette matched her fashion sense…non-existent.

  1. Super Value, Cable Beach.

This was a weird case, not only did the offender take the handicapped spot right from under the nose of a legitimate handicapped person, she had no conscience about the matter, exiting her vehicle with no remorse as she sauntered to the front door.

When I told her how “cold blooded” she was she simply replied, “Mister, my kids well rude I can’t bring them in here behind me so I has to park dem close so nuttin’ will happen to them”

  1. Sea Grapes Shopping Centre, Nassau East.

The final one is the most atrocious infraction of them all.

The offender illegally parks in the handicap parking space in front of the food store only to bypass the food store and bee-line it to the more enticing liquor store.

What left me shocked and awed was the fact that the offender was in his full Royal Bahamas Police Force uniform.

As the youth of today so frequently say… “Savage.”

I’m still scratching my head on that one.

MOVING FORWARD

The only advice I can offer is this. Real handicapped people be strong, keep the faith and know that you still have me as a “champion” for your cause, trained by Auntie Kay, so you know these offenders will be chastised and made humble for their indiscretions.

To the offenders I say this: Your lack of respect, common sense, compassion, rationale and blatant disregard for your fellow man is lousy and pathetic.

By your actions it’s obvious you are handicapped socially – not legally.

And before you ask, being called “crazy” doesn’t get you a handicap parking permit either.

Until next week, let your conscience be your guide, especially out of handicapped parking spaces.

Love you and miss you “Tia”.

Comments

DDK 1 week, 2 days ago

Nice one, Naughty! Best up there to your Aunt Kay!

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