By CARA HUNT
Tribune Features Writer
It’s the cheating scandal of the year so far. The video of social media “relationship guru” and author Derrick Jaxn admitting he had been unfaithful to his wife Da’Naia multiple times sent shock waves through his community of millions of followers.
It has also become the source of countless memes and discussions around the world, especially among Black women who saw him as role model and purchased his books.
Jaxn amassed his following after he posted a blog several years ago about the stumbling block that led to his and his wife’s initial break-up back in their college years.
He went on to write several books and post videos on how men should treat the women in their lives. He earned a huge following of women who wanted his male perspective on relationships.
However, his carefully crafted brand started to crumble last month when model Candice De Medeiros claimed to have had an affair with him after he allegedly told her that he and his wife were separated.
De Medeiros claimed that she and Jaxn texted throughout the summer of 2020, spent his birthday together, and even slept in the bed that he shares with his wife.
Several other women have also alleged that they had relationships with him as well. One alleged mistress claims she had been pregnant with his child and that he filmed many of his car vlogs outside of her home. The mistress also revealed that they had had contact since he posted the video on YouTube admitting to his extramarital transgressions.
Of course, if true, it negates everything that was said in the confession video.
Derrick claims that the infidelity happened far in the past and that his wife not only knew all about it, but had also forgiven all.
“The truth is Derrick Jaxn was involved with other women outside the marriage,” he said, speaking of himself in the third person in his YouTube confessional.
“I want to be clear. I’m not talking about just casually kicking it, maybe a lunch or something like that. I’m talking about as serious as sex, sexual flirtation, and meeting up and those type of things. It’s important that I let you know I don’t stand by those actions, ” Derrick said in his video.
“I don’t want to encourage anybody to do that. Secondly, I know I can’t build a platform preaching certain things, preaching against certain things, and then in my real life live contrary to that.”
His wife stoically stood by her man, even as he gripped her hand so tightly it became the source of memes.
“I agree with people saying that there is no justification for bringing other women into our marriage … when I found out about it, I left. I did not come back until I saw a shift or a change in his mentality,” said Da’Naia.
The pair went on to post several other videos, with Da’Naia claiming that she was ready to do spiritual warfare for her husband.
Her appearance (she wore a hair bonnet in the first video) has been mercilessly mocked all across the internet, but she claims she is unperturbed by the criticism.
“This is a spiritual warfare and if you are not prepared and you do not know what to do, you will drown and you will be a casualty in this war,” said Da’Naia in second video where she was wearing a military camouflage top. “I did not come here to play games and to play dress-up. I came here in my battle suit. I came here on the battleground covered in the blood of Jesus.
“You see a bonnet; I see the helmet of salvation. You see an army green shirt. I see the breastplate of righteousness. I see the belt of truth and the sandals of peace, the sword of spirit, which is the word of God, and the shield of faith. And I’ve come to the battleground covered in the blood of Jesus to proclaim victory over sin.”
While Da’Naia and Jesus may have forgiven Derrick, his Bahamian female followers are not so generous.
“That is the last time I waste my time listening to a man give women advice from his car,” said Tribune reader Tia.
“I will admit that I was a fan and a lot of the things he said seemed to make sense, but after hearing that he is just another lying, cheating dog like the rest of them, I am done with him, I won’t be wasting my time. I can’t believe he tried to pretend that he was so decent and wholesome when all the time he knew he was shady.”
Tia added: “I don’t feel any kinda way about his wife. She knew what she married and if she has forgiven him and chooses to support him, that is on her and that is her right, and that is a decision that she has to live with. But as far as me investing my time watching his videos, following his Instagram, or worse, spending money on his brand, that's a hard no for me. I am done with him.”
Marrisa said the rampant hypocrisy is what turns her off.
“I don’t want to shoot the messenger, but you have ruined any credibility for me by being shady. If you had come out from the start and said, ‘Look, I was a cheater and this is what I have learned and this is what the experience has taught me and how my wife and I have moved on and I can give advice from that experience’, I would have had more respect for him,” she said.
Raneika, however, said she is tired of the couple and wishes they would both shut up and go away.
“I was fine with the first interview he came out with and admitted that he had done wrong. And she says she forgave him. OK, but then they kept on posting and want to be mad when people feel some kinda way. And after every post it’s some push for his merchandise. This is about saving the brand. This is a private matter between the two of them, now they just look extra ridiculous with all this extra noise. I am over it,” she said.
Leah said Da’Naia’s decision to stand by her man is a blow to women everywhere.
“I understand that you might forgive someone once if they appear genuine, but this man cheated on you repeatedly. I mean, how many times are you going accept this; I am so sorry. Men cheat because they figure, ‘Hey, it doesn't matter what I do, they will take me back.’ And then you act like this is a spiritual test. No, it’s not; it’s you married to a man who has no respect for God, you or the vows he made,” he said.
Maliah hopes this scandal is a lesson to women everywhere, especially Bahamian women, to never take advice from a man on how to behave as a woman, how to attract or keep a man.
“You can’t trust a word that comes out of their mouths. Don’t waste your money buying their books or your time watching their videos. Listen to your momma, your grammy or your girlfriends before you ever listen to a man on this subject,” she said.