The Tribune

By SIMON

While most motorists on New Providence are considerate, a large number today treat the roadways and parking spaces as their personal space, self-absorbed and indifferent to the needs of fellow motorists.

Some haphazardly pull into parking spaces in a manner that blocks other motorists from also parking. Others pull into spaces clearly marked “No Parking.” The self-absorbed excuse often used to justify such selfishness and blatant disregard?

“I’ll be right back.” Translation: To hell with you, this suits my convenience and My needs are more important than yours.”

And asking the person who poorly parked to move their vehicle for the convenience of others, often elicits an angry or defensive response (and a failure to comply.)

Most people drive the way they think. This includes those who drive or turn at a snail’s space, helping to clog the roads. Most of the road ragers out there are not considerate drivers.

It happens in stores too. Watch how some shoppers manoeuvre their carts through a grocery store, unconcerned with the need for others to shop unencumbered. Some make certain they do not block others in the aisle, while others obliviously block the way as if they are alone in the store. Such micro examples are part of a broader pattern of incivility.

The story was told in this column some years ago of a 40-something, bejewelled, well-dressed woman driving a new luxury SUV, who pulled into a clearly marked handicapped-reserved parking space at a popular grocery store in western New Providence. She perfumed the air with her sense of entitlement.

After a few well-practised stilettoed steps into the entrance of the store she was intercepted by a male store employee, who politely informed her that she could not park in the reserved space. Seemingly afraid to challenge her, he told her that another female customer had complained.

The driver of the SUV flew into a rage. She loudly demanded how anyone dare complain about where she parked. She threatened to tell the other woman about, euphemistically, her derrière. Given the level of outrage, it seemed that the parking spot was reserved exclusively for the SUV driver. A perfect example of how some of us have lost the interior disposition to act civilly and abide by positive social mores. Worse, this poor behaviour is allowed and tolerated in public spaces.

A friend remarked about sitting next to a group of young people at a popular eating spot, who were loudly using a barrage of curses. They had zero sense that their behaviour was inappropriate, especially since such behaviour is often tolerated.

The lady who parked in the handicapped-reserved parking space did so because there is rarely a penalty for such inconsiderate and obnoxious behaviour. Slap a $1,000 fine on her and one may bet that she will never park in a handicapped-reserved space again. She parks wherever she wants because she usually gets away with such behaviour.

After he lost office, Sir Lynden Pindling publicly regretted that he did not introduce some form of national service to help in the development of young Bahamians, especially young men. A few years before his death, Sir Lynden bemoaned that we were “raising a nation of brutes.”

The brutish behaviour became virulent with the onset of the drug-plagued era of the late 1970s and 80s. Asked back then what they aspired to become, many young people replied with no hesitance or sense of shame “a drug dealer.” Dealers and their high-priced lawyers were celebrated and openly courted.

What makes a country civil and humane is the internalization and expression of certain core values, such as the rule of law and respect for others.

Contempt for the rule of law is widespread, including by much of the political class who rightly bemoan street crime, but who indulge in all manner of corrupt practices while wilfully ignoring the standards of parliamentary democracy.

Many young men have become animalistic in their attitude and behaviour toward each other, as well as toward society in general and visitors to our shores. There exists a pervasive crudeness and crass behaviour with which residents of New Providence must daily contend, whether when driving or seeking service in a store.

Our life in common has become meaner and harsher. 

“Brutish” has exploded with fury. It is not only the so-called thugs who often act in a brutish manner. Many at the highest level of society act with contempt and disregard for rules and traditions as well.

From parking where we please, to all manner of crime, to abusing our parliamentary system, we have become more brutish, more lawless and less civilized. Things are likely to worsen if not arrested.

Another endemic sociological trait common today is the “throw me out” society and dependency culture, particularly dependency on government.

A friend recalls working at an upscale resort. On the rounds in housekeeping, he observed a co-worker going into a room and taking an item from the mini bar. The co-worker asked if my friend wanted something from the bar, which he declined.

When asked why he stole the item from the mini bar the co-worker said, “Daddy wants us to have this.” When asked who “Daddy” was, he replied simply and clearly: “The owner of the hotel.” 

Hotel management and owners often report that employee theft is the security issue they deal with most in The Bahamas. Many Bahamians see nothing wrong with such theft because, in their minds, there is plenty to go around and the owners can afford it.

Like some other cultures, many Bahamians view business owners and the government as sugar daddies or sugar mommies, who are supposed to take care of us or throw something out to us.

Another friend who runs a retail business recalls one of her foreign suppliers regularly complaining that he was constantly being asked for money, favours, breakfast, and various goods from the employees of the businesses he supplied.

He found the practice of constantly being asked for something rampant in The Bahamas. Arguably, most Bahamians view government as the ultimate sugar daddy. The transactional “throw me out” culture is widespread. Many voters expect to get a monetary donation for their vote.

Someone else I know recalls taking a pan of cooked chicken to a fellowship event at a church attended mostly by middle-class families. She noticed that, during the evening, the chicken never made its way outside of the kitchen. Someone, or a small group, took the food home for themselves.

This sort of story is often repeated. Food items intended for others are taken by those who can afford to buy the food, but who simply decide they prefer to get something for nothing.

The notions of the common good, of personal responsibility, and other such values preached by members of the clergy and promoted in the political sphere are exemplary ideals practised by some. However, many basic tenets of civility have atrophied.

The longer this decline is unredressed, the more uncivil and brutish we will become.