The Tribune

By LEANDRA ROLLE

Tribune Chief Reporter

lrolle@tribunemedia.net

NEARLY two months after her five-year-old son drowned in Abaco, Laurel Dean said grief still ambushes her without warning.

Some days are manageable. Others are not.

Maximus Rolle, who was autistic, was reported missing shortly after 1pm on January 12. He was later found in seawater along the back road in Murphy Town. Officers, assisted by a concerned citizen, pulled him from the water and rushed him to the island’s clinic, where he was pronounced dead.

Yesterday, Ms Dean said she is trying to steady herself in the aftermath.

“I’m trying to do my best,” she told The Tribune, adding that support and prayers from people near and far have overwhelmed her.

The last time she saw her son was just before she left for work that morning.

The mother of three said she told her 16-year-old daughter to keep an eye on Maximus because he would often try to run behind her when she left the house. She slipped out quietly. Around 11am, as she usually did, she called home. During the call, her daughter showed Maximus lying in bed.

“Then I say, ‘hi baby, you okay?’. He looked at me and I looked at him and I said, “okay,” and that was the last time,” she said.

Hours later, she received the news no parent expects.

Ms Dean said she never imagined losing her only son so young. She called him her “Baby Hulk” because of his strength.

Family members described Maximus as mischievous and bubbly. He often communicated more through actions than words. He loved building blocks. He had a cheeky sense of humour and would laugh when told not to do something, his mother said. Yet he was also tender and quick to show affection.

“The five years with him was fully a blessing,” she said. “It teach me patience because patience is something I don’t really have and with him, it kind of calmed me down a bit.”

His absence still feels unreal.

Ms Dean said his belongings and toys remain where he left them. The morning after his death, she laid out his clothes on the bed as if preparing him for school.

She and the children’s father sometimes catch themselves reaching for him.

“Sometimes I even end up to go calling his dad to say ‘I call to talk to him’ because either he with me or his daddy say the same thing, saying couple times he catch himself to ask to speak to him,” she said.

Ms Dean said she speaks with her two daughters every day and urges them not to blame themselves. They continue to attend school and take part in their usual activities.

“I try to encourage them that it’s going to be okay and God allows things to happen for a reason,” she said. “Nothing before its time. It just was his time. I try to speak positive to them.”

She said she knows some people may judge her but does not feel she owes anyone an explanation.

“Anybody who knows me know the type of parent I am towards my children,” she said. “I try to make the best. I try give them the best. I try and let them live better than I was because growing up, it was hard on my end so I try to make it easier for them.”

All three of her children were well travelled, she said, but Maximus had travelled the most. The family had planned a summer cruise to the Turks and Caicos Islands. Those plans are now on hold.

The loss has reshaped her faith.

“It made me want to go to heaven to see him,” she said.

She offered a message to other parents enduring similar pain.

“This life is not ours.,” she said. “This is borrowed time that we are on.”

She said she is trying to live in a way that would allow her to see her son again.

“That's what I'm doing. I’m going to try to do my best. I can't promise you it's going to be easy, because no road is easy,” she said.