The Tribune

Remember this: “A liar is a thief, and a thief is a murderer!” We have heard that since the beginning of time.

Every generation likes to believe it is wiser than the one before it. We lecture our children about honesty. We punish them when they lie. We tell them that integrity is the foundation of character and that truth matters more than convenience. Yet before many children are old enough to distinguish fantasy from reality, we deliberately blur that distinction ourselves.

No contradiction is greater in modern parenting than our insistence that children must always tell the truth while we intentionally cultivate stories we know to be false. We smile as we do it. We congratulate one another for preserving "the magic." We celebrate it as tradition. Then, years later, we wonder why truth has become so negotiable in our culture.

The issue is bigger than Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny. Those characters have become symbols of something much deeper: our willingness to substitute fantasy for truth during the most impressionable years of a child's life.

We are told that these harmless stories create wonderful memories. We are assured that children eventually "figure it out" and suffer no lasting harm. But another perspective deserves serious consideration. What happens when the very people children trust most deliberately convince them of something they know is untrue? What lesson is quietly planted beneath the wrapping paper and chocolate eggs?

We plant in their subconscious that lying is ok. Everyone has cultivated that deception is okay. A child believes because a parent says it is true.

Sacred trust

A child trusts because a parent is the highest authority in their world.

That trust is sacred. It forms the very foundation upon which a child learns to distinguish truth from falsehood. Yet we willingly use that trust to persuade children to believe stories that we ourselves do not believe.

Then, almost overnight, we reveal the deception.

"It was just for fun."

"It was only pretend."

"It was tradition."

But for the child, the lesson is far more complicated. If Mom, Dad and the pastor could look me in the eye and convince me that Santa came down the chimney or that a rabbit hid coloured eggs around the yard, then perhaps truth is flexible. Perhaps people I love can intentionally deceive me if they think the reason is good enough.

That is not merely about holiday traditions. It is about establishing a philosophy of truth.

Historic distortions

The contradiction becomes even more striking when we examine the holidays themselves.

Easter is one of the most profound observances in Christianity. It commemorates sacrifice, redemption, hope, and resurrection. Whether one is a believer or not, it is impossible to deny that the Easter story has shaped civilizations, inspired great works of art, and transformed countless lives.

Yet what do many children know about Easter?

Egg hunts. Chocolate bunnies. Plastic eggs filled with candy. Colourful baskets.

Pictures with an oversized rabbit.

Some children could explain in great detail how to find hidden eggs but know almost nothing about the event Easter was originally intended to commemorate.

One has to ask an uncomfortable question.

How did one of history's most significant religious observances become centred around rabbits that lay eggs?

There is no sensible explanation for reducing a message of life, sacrifice, and resurrection to a scavenger hunt. Where is the humour?

The same phenomenon occurs at Christmas.

Christmas marks the birth of Jesus Christ, an event Christians believe changed human history. Yet for millions of children, Christmas becomes almost entirely about Santa Claus.

Santa watches, Santa judges, Santa keeps a list, Santa decides who deserves rewards.

Every Christmas, children are encouraged to behave because an invisible figure is supposedly watching their every move. He then judges whether they have been naughty or nice before rewarding them with gifts. It is an interesting paradox: we teach children to be sceptical and think critically, yet ask them to believe in an unseen observer who dispenses rewards based on their behaviour.

Again, adults know this story is fictional.

Children do not.

Parents, teachers, relatives, neighbours, television programs, books, and advertisers all work together to reinforce the illusion. The child has no meaningful opportunity to question it because every trusted authority repeats the same story. Classic brainwashing!

Not harmless fun

When eventually the truth emerges, the deception is excused as harmless fun.

But should we be so quick to dismiss it?

If honesty truly matters, why should deception become acceptable simply because it is seasonal?

If we condemn lying in every other circumstance, why do we celebrate it during the holidays?

Children notice inconsistencies long before adults imagine they do.

They observe that rules seem to change depending on convenience.

Truth becomes negotiable.

The ends justify the means.

If the outcome is pleasant enough, deception becomes acceptable.

That lesson extends far beyond December and April.

Pervasive dishonesty

Our society increasingly struggles with honesty: political deception, Corporate deception, Academic dishonesty, Financial fraud, False advertising.

Social media personas are carefully constructed to project lives that do not exist.

People routinely distort reality to gain approval, avoid consequences, or obtain advantages.

We express shock.

We lament declining moral standards.

We wonder why truth seems to matter less with every passing generation.

Let's first examine ourselves.

LESSONS LEARNED

Character is not built in adulthood.

It begins in childhood.

Every lesson becomes another brick in the foundation.

Every example matters.

Children imitate what adults practice far more than what adults preach.

If adults demonstrate that some lies are acceptable because they create excitement or preserve tradition, children naturally learn that deception can be justified when the purpose seems worthwhile.

That principle does not remain confined to holiday celebrations; it quietly expands. One lie to avoid embarrassment, another to impress friends, another to escape responsibility, another to gain influence.

Eventually, entire cultures become comfortable with appearances rather than reality.

We often speak about society's moral decline as though it emerged from nowhere.

But cultures are built one family at a time.

Homes produce citizens.

Parents shape future leaders.

Children raised on consistency tend to value consistency.

Children raised amid contradictions often inherit contradictions.

TRADITION IS NO EXCUSE

None of this suggests that parents intentionally seek to harm their children—quite the opposite.

Most parents participate in these traditions out of genuine love.

They wish to create joyful memories.

They remember their own childhood experiences fondly.

They continue what previous generations practiced.

Few stop to ask whether tradition itself deserves examination.

History is filled with traditions that later generations wisely abandoned.

Tradition alone cannot determine what is good.

Every generation has the responsibility to ask whether inherited customs still deserve preservation.

That responsibility becomes even greater when children are involved.

Some may argue that imagination is essential for healthy development.

Indeed, imagination is invaluable. Stories inspire creativity, Fairy tales teach courage, legends communicate values, and children delight in make-believe, but imagination need not masquerade as reality.

There is a profound difference between saying, "Let's pretend," and insisting that fiction is literally true.

Children are perfectly capable of enjoying fantasy when it is honestly presented as fantasy.

Books, films, theatre, and storytelling have delighted children for centuries without requiring deliberate deception from parents.

The issue is not imagination.

The issue is honesty.

Trust between parent and child is among the most precious relationships on earth. Once weakened, it cannot easily be restored.

Parents rightly expect children to believe them when discussing matters of safety, morality, education, and faith.

That credibility should never be spent unnecessarily. Imagine instead a generation raised with unwavering respect for truth.

Children who know their parents never intentionally deceive them.

Children who understand that joy does not require falsehood.

Children who celebrate Christmas for its historical and spiritual meaning rather than mythical surveillance.

Children who celebrate Easter by understanding its significance rather than merely searching for candy-filled eggs.

Such children would still laugh. They would still celebrate. They would still create treasured family memories. Only those memories would rest upon truth rather than illusion.

Worthy of reflection

This conversation is not about condemning parents.

It is about inviting reflection.

Every parent has made mistakes.

Every generation has inherited customs worth reconsidering.

The question is not whether our parents loved us.

Most certainly they did.

The question is whether love sometimes perpetuates practices that deserve honest examination.

If we genuinely desire a society built upon integrity, then integrity must begin where character begins—in the home.

We cannot consistently teach honesty while practicing carefully managed deception.

We cannot condemn lying in teenagers while celebrating it in toddlers.

We cannot expect truthfulness to flourish if the earliest lessons children receive suggest that trusted adults sometimes invent elaborate stories and insist they are true.

GIFT OF TRUTH

Perhaps the greatest gift we can give our children is not a mountain of presents beneath a Christmas tree or baskets overflowing with candy on Easter morning.

Perhaps the greatest gift is something far simpler.

A home where truth is never sacrificed for tradition.

A home where trust is never traded for entertainment.

A home where honesty is not merely preached but consistently practiced.

If we want future generations of men and women to value truth, we must first become adults who refuse to compromise it.

The whirlwind we often see in society did not appear overnight. Countless choices, large and small, repeated across generations have shaped it.

While no single tradition can explain every social ill, each generation has an opportunity to ask whether its customs reinforce the values it claims to cherish. If honesty truly is the cornerstone of character, then it deserves protection from the very beginning of a child's life. The measure of our commitment to truth is not how passionately we condemn dishonesty in others, but how faithfully we embody truth in the lives of those entrusted to our care.

If we want children who become adults of integrity, then the first step is to ensure that the first voices they learn to trust are also the first voices that consistently tell them the truth.

Facing reality: when we stop lying to our children, then we could start to address the other social ills of a country and, by extension, the world.