The Tribune

By CARA HUNT

Tribune Features Writer

cbrennen@tribunemedia.net

While most mothers talk to their daughters about their first period and what they can expect in puberty, by the time those little girls grow up, the subject of menopause is often considered taboo - a subject described either in negative terms such as “the curse” or flowery, empty terms such as “the change.”

And it is this lack of conversation that leaves women facing a new chapter in their lives with no idea how to get through it.

Dr Gillian Curry Williams found herself in this exact situation. She entered menopause thinking it meant just the end of her periods and maybe a few hot flashes.

Instead, she found herself a stranger in her own body, facing physical and mental struggles that in her new book she describes as “The Season of Fire.”

The book is a woman’s guide through perimenopause, menopause and the rise after the flame. And she wrote it, because it is the conversation she wishes she had with someone when she first entered perimenopause.

A conversation that would have helped her understand that what she was going through was not an end but a beginning.

“The title came from thinking about how menopause can feel like moving through a season of intense heat and change,” she told Tribune Woman. “But fire can also refine, renew, and make room for new growth. I wanted the title to reflect that this season can be challenging, but it doesn’t have to be the end of a woman’s story.

While it took her a year to write the book, she says the subject had been a part of her life for much longer and one she knew she had to share.

“I knew how isolating it could feel to experience changes in your body and emotions without having the language to explain them. Women deserve honest information and support, especially when menopause affects their confidence, relationships, health, and sense of self. I wanted to help women feel less alone and more prepared to speak up and ask questions.”

The result is a book that is brutally honest and real. It reads like a chat you have with an older sister or friend over coffee without fear of judgement.

“I didn’t want women to feel lectured or talked down to. I wanted them to feel that someone understood what they might be going through,” she said.

Gillian speaks with candour. She discusses the real ways that menopause can affect a woman, giving as an example how her own decrease in libido affected her marriage.

“I tried to be a wife in the way I thought I was supposed to. I couldn’t ignore what my body was screaming; I didn’t want him. And that truth scared me, because I still loved him,” she writes.

She also describes the brain fog, muscle aches, fatigue, insomnia and mood swings that can accompany the fiery feelings of hot flashes and depression and grief over constantly not feeling like yourself.

And while it was not easy to share those feelings, they linger on every page of this book.

“It was difficult at times. Some experiences were deeply personal, especially the changes in my body and the way they affected how I felt about myself and my marriage. I had to remind myself that sharing those truths could help another woman feel understood. I didn’t share them because it was easy; I shared them because they mattered. And because my husband gave the ok.”

Gillian says that while the conversation about women’s sexual health has improved, there is still a lot of silence.

“Women are often expected to manage these changes privately, and topics like intimacy, vaginal dryness, desire, and changes in our bodies can feel uncomfortable to discuss. We need more honest conversations at home, in medical settings, and in our communities so women don’t feel ashamed to seek help.

This is why the book includes a chapter for partners, a chapter on what to demand and expect from your doctors as well as space for journaling and activities you can do to help overcome symptoms.

“I want women to know that they are not alone, and they deserve to be heard, informed, and supported. Menopause is not something every woman has to silently endure. One myth I hope to challenge is that menopause is only about hot flashes. It can affect many parts of a woman’s life, including her mood, sleep, body, relationships, and sexuality.

The Season of Fire is available at Bloom and Bindings Bookstore on Madeira Street and DaVinci Printing on Village Road.

•Dr Gillian Curry Williams is giving away a free copy of her book The Season of Fire to one Tribune Woman reader. To enter the random drawing, send an email to cbrennen@tribunemedia.net