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Comments on marital rape issue

EDITOR, The Tribune.

I read with consternation (but not surprise) the remarks of Evangelist Rex Major on the impending marital rape legislation at the recent ecumenical service celebrating The Bahamas’ 50th anniversary of independence. A few of his remarks caught my attention:

1 Evangelist Major objects to the marital rape law because he says “people does lie”. Based on his later remarks, in which he said that women might falsely cry rape to get out of their marriages, I assume by “people”, he means women. Why does Evangelist Major – like so many Bahamian men – have such a low opinion of women? Do women lie any more than men? To my knowledge, Evangelist Major has daughters. Does he think his daughters would falsely accuse their husbands of rape? Does he paint them with the same brush of the lying Jezebel? If not, why does he think other women would behave any differently?

2 Secondly, because there is a chance that a woman might lie, does that mean we should not have laws against marital rape? Children can lie too, but that doesn’t mean we should not have laws against child molestation, does it?

3 Evangelist Major says that marital rape would be hard to prove. Well, it would be no different than the present law where a man rapes a woman who is not his wife. The onus would be on the wife to prove that a rape occurred, not on the husband to prove that there was no rape.

4 Evangelist Major says that women might falsely accuse their husbands of rape to get out of a marriage. I highly doubt that. But on that point, maybe the government should also look into amending The Bahamas’ antiquated divorce laws to allow no-fault divorces. People change. People fall out of love. If two adults decide that they simply do not want to be married anymore, that should be their right, without having to prove adultery, abuse, cruelty, abandonment or neglect. Let people sever their ties and move on with their lives.

I understand that Evangelist Major is a member of an older generation where women were taught to be totally submissive to their husbands and where women were little more than chattels, trained to be good wives and do whatever their husbands want, including engaging in sexual intercourse, even if the women were tired, sick or simply not in the mood. Thankfully, we have come a long way, and some more enlightened people see women as individuals in their own right, who should have control over their bodies. Maybe Evangelist Major should heed the words of the seemingly more sensible Anglican Bishop Laish Boyd: “Marriage is a sacrament before God where persons covenant to love and protect each other until death. Rape is not love or protection.”

Rickendra T Turner

Nassau,

May 23, 2023

Comments

birdiestrachan 1 year, 1 month ago

These attacks on pastor Major are mean spirited these laws go back to 2oo9 why have they become so urgent? Why mention his daughters , this law on paper , Pastor Major is looking on the human beings , children , men and their wives private lives, he has talked and council many married people old age, and wise, much wisdom and experience

GodSpeed 1 year ago

Why do people pretend that women can't lie about rape when there are so many instances that prove otherwise? I mean women are human, they lie indeed just like men.

ThisIsOurs 1 year ago

Children lie about being molested, notoriously. Investigators take great pains to determine whether or not a child is making up a story. As the writer says should we remove the crime of child molestation because lies by young children are so prevalent? Rex Major sounded like an ignorant caveman. I did not say he was, I said he sounded like one.

This place became really scary when I heard grown men talk about being able to rape a woman without violence because women use to the act, that's what they for but it would be different for a man, and if you had a gun you might not have to be rough theyd just comply so it's not really violence. Who are these miscreants with these degenerative diseased brains???

What kind of man is satisfied to force his wife to have sex because he paying the bills? I'm going to bet most of these men who talk about my responsibility vs hers, have wives who make just as much or more money than they do... that might be the real sore point

GodSpeed 1 year ago

Concerning child rape, usually it is a parent bringing these charges forward and it's the parent that's lying and manipulating the child, for whatever reason. There is a distinction made between child and adult when concerning the law, women are not children, you can check a child's body for evidence of sexual contact which should not be happening with a child period. With a woman she could have regular sex or rough sex with her husband and decide to call it rape, there is no way for an investigator to know if it was consensual or not besides her accusation. A law for "marital rape" will be abused 100%. Under this law will a man be able to claim his wife raped him as well? Or is this just a law to target men? If a woman is getting "raped" by her husband then simply get a divorce or leave him, that's the only extent to which the state needs to be involved.

Dawes 1 year ago

So once a woman has sex they can never be raped. Great thinking.

GodSpeed 1 year ago

I'm speaking specifically about within the confines of a marriage, if a husband has raped his wife then she can simply get a divorce. That is the only logical solution, anything else is he said, she said.

Dawes 1 year ago

And Rex majors argument as to why Martial Rape should not be banned is because woman will use it to get a divorce. So which is it, should they be able to get a divorce or not?

ThisIsOurs 1 year ago

Are u for real. Not to get too graphic but the act of rape I believe defines penetration, it doesnt specify with what

Judges arent fools. They take great pains to determine the truth of a matter. I know personally of one individual where the judge threw the case out because the account defied belief. The judge didnt have camera footage of the act. They listened to the evidence

Dawes 1 year ago

I Can't understand how anyone can think martial rape is OK. Its not. Are you that pathetic that you have to force yourself on a woman because you are unable to get her to want to? Anyway as i've said before at least this seems to be an older person's issue so over time it will change. Just hope its quicker then current.

birdiestrachan 1 year ago

How will force be determined in marriage , ? If the man beats his wife that is wrong and different, she has evidence to show, but without that it will not work , the courts are overburden murder cases, seperate and divorce is the answer the marriage has ended it will be an X rated event think about the children

Dawes 1 year ago

How is force shown in other cases? Or should we just not have that law as it's too hard to prove?

GodSpeed 1 year ago

I don't put it past a woman to bruise herself up and falsely accuse abuse either, things like that happen. I've witnessed women lie about abuse to get their significant other arrested out of malice. There are well known cases where women have lied about rape and completely ruined the lives/reputations of innocent men or put them in jail all on her word. There was a well known case of a former City Market manager that went through hell just because of a woman's lies. The family unit in this country is already in decline, with most children being illegitimate, laws like this won't encourage more marriage.

ThisIsOurs 1 year ago

Did you read the account of the woman who was granted a divorce about 3months ago? That lady laid out such a case it was clear she'd removed herself from the act. She ended up with severe pschological damage having to endure being forced to comply with a sex act she didnt want and her husband had to know she didnt want. Verbal accounts of encounters can provide riveting testimony of what happened to an individual.

LastManStanding 1 year ago

I am so tired of hearing about this issue, both sides of this argument act like literal children. A certain part of one group feel that they can call themselves Christian and rape their wives, while the other group wants men summarily convicted and imprisoned simply because a woman says so. This is a topic that needs a high level of maturity to discuss and it feels as if no one in this country has it.

To be honest I think the whole argument is moot because marriage as an institution is dead anyways. Hookup culture and family courts weaponized against men have cratered the marriage rates, and most young people are just not interested. It is a whole bunch of arguing for nothing.

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