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A plea for understanding and change

EDITOR, The Tribune.

This is a plea for understanding and change. It addresses the concerns raised by Grace Community Church's senior pastor:

Dear Pastor Lyall Bethel,

We hope this message finds you in good health and high spirits. We understand that your perspective on the proposed amendments to the Sexual Offences Act is rooted in your beliefs and values, and we respect your right to hold them. However, we believe it is important to engage in a thoughtful dialogue about the concerns raised by the women of our community who are advocating for this law.

The stance you and some of your fellow church pastors have taken to reject the law has left many saddened, particularly those women who have been passionately advocating for its implementation. It is vital to recognize that this law is not about weaponizing sex in marriage or undermining the sanctity of marriage. Instead, it is about safeguarding the fundamental human rights of individuals within a marriage and promoting a culture of respect, love, and equality.

Our community has been grappling with the distressing reality of sexual assaults, including rapes and child molestation. These deeply disturbing incidents underscore the urgent need for legal measures that protect vulnerable individuals within their own homes. It is within families and communities that the moral fabric of our society is woven, and we must ensure that our sons and daughters are brought up to understand the importance of consent, respect, and empathy.

You aptly mention the beauty of the teachings within the Bible, which encourage us to respect and honour one another. These teachings should never be distorted to justify heinous acts of abuse, whether they occur between spouses or anyone else. Instead, they should serve as a moral compass guiding us towards compassion, understanding, and kindness.

You have expressed a concern that enacting the proposed bill will result in fewer marriages. We draw to your attention to the recent UB study “In The Bahamas She Must Give It Up”, which publicly revealed that married women are more likely than single women to have experienced non-consensual intercourse; and, where this occurs those women are more likely to have suffered physical harm at the hands of their partners. This study, and its publication makes it patently clear to all women that in the current state of affairs we are safer if we do not wed. After all, to restate your question, who wants to get married when it is so dicey and dangerous as your husband can force himself upon you without your consent? It is, therefore, clear that the failure to amend the law, and not its amendment, will result in fewer marriages with the resulting societal impact that you fear.

The incidence of adultery is already a plague upon this nation and we welcome the church consistently dealing with the matter and not just as a tool in this discussion. It also ought to be accepted that with respect to all laws on the books there is the potential for misuse of the law. The truth is that if a wife wishes to make false allegations against her husband she can do so now. So, while there may be concerns about potential misuse of the law, it is crucial to remember that reporting instances of rape or abuse is not an easy task for victims nor is it one which the authorities would just issue charges on. Before there can be “wrongful convictions” there must first be a charge; and, just as there may be “wrongful convictions” there may also be just ones.

The legal process exists to carefully evaluate and determine the truth, and it is our responsibility to ensure that victims are heard and supported throughout this process. By acknowledging the hardships they face and offering our empathy, we can help pave the way for change that is both just and compassionate.

The cry of “rape within a marriage” is not just a signal that the marriage is in trouble and is headed to the divorce court. It is a signal of the commission of a crime against her person. We note that you have indicated that the marriage contract is for “consent to cohabitate”. Sexual intercourse without consent is not cohabitation. It is rape.

As leaders, it is our duty to put ourselves in the shoes of those who are suffering and marginalized. We must reflect on the impact our decisions have on our daughters, sisters, and mothers. God's protection is meant to shield us from harm, not to enable the abuse of our fellow human beings.

We commend all women who have spoken out and championed this cause, and we implore other women to join their ranks and ours. The call for equality and justice is a call that resonates with many women, and it is only by standing together that we can create lasting change. Let us remember that progress often requires difficult conversations and introspection, but it is through these efforts that we can build a stronger, more compassionate society for all.

In closing, we want to express our gratitude to those leaders who have shown support for these necessary changes. Let us move forward together, guided by a shared commitment to protecting the dignity and rights of every individual in our beloved archipelago.

Sincerely,


PRODESTA MOORE

Founder and President

Women United

Comments

birdiestrachan 8 months ago

There is no marital rape if the man and his wife are living together in the same house and the same bed how will it be proven , and why get married when one may go to jail for life, Ms moore you need a cause meddling in marriages should not be it, Pastor bethel is correct

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Bobsyeruncle 8 months ago

Your ignorance never fails to disappoint, Birdie.
What if the wife says "no" and then the husband decides to beat the living crap out of her for disrepecting his 'natural urge to procreate' ?, You keep saying she can leave the marriage or go to a womens shelter, but what your ignorance fails to see, is that the unconsensual sex (i.e. rape) has to occur FIRST before she can do this. Why should she suffer the hurt and crime first ??????

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themessenger 8 months ago

@birdiestrachan, you've been eating too much of that crab food again which hasn't improved the halitosis emanating from your verbal diarrhea.

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Porcupine 8 months ago

An extremely compelling and courageous letter. Thank you Ms. Moore for writing it. Our country has a long road to go. We have failed to educate our people, instead allowing ignorant pastors, and politicians, to lead far too many astray.

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birdiestrachan 8 months ago

Obuse and marital rape is different if a man beats his wife she should leave , this law is not new only since the PLP has become the Government it has become urgent it is the work of the devil interference in Marriage , this is polotics , the PASTOR are right did ms moore run for office before then there is Ellis,!,Bostwick and be linda

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FreeportFreddy 8 months ago

So many stupid statements all packed into one post!

YOU and those old people that are like you are the problem. WTF is the role of the PASTOR in any bedroom (other than their own and that of their 2.3 Sweethearts)? Are they elected and how does that make them right?

Your ignorance and grammar are atrocious (that means bad)!

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Bobsyeruncle 8 months ago

Once again Birdie, you're victim blaming . Why does the woman have to get beaten FIRST, before she leaves. I think you have a hard time understanding logic. If the husbnad decides to shoot his wife in the leg because she says 'no', is the solution for her to just leave ? Shouldn't he be punished ? Me thinks you've been brainwashed by religious scriptures and political ideology for too long

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hrysippus 8 months ago

Pastors are in the business of entertaining their followers in order to get their money. The more publicity that a pastor can get, the more followers he or she will garner, and thus the higher their income. A clever pastor knows just how to get the most free publicity by strategic commenting on controversial social issues, particularly those issues that the founder of their particular sect never addressed.

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ThisIsOurs 7 months, 4 weeks ago

100% correct, I was told the exact same thing by someone who collects the church money, essentially ~"Jesus and love talk is fine, but bills have to pay"

church nowadays is no different than going to a nightclub, who wearing what and how much fun we had. Pastors are now battling for how much time they can get on talk shows to promote their "brand". Theyre marketing themselves, not God

This is precisely why Jesus walked in the temple and throw over all the money collection tables, its an abomination

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birdiestrachan 8 months ago

The pastor knows more about marriage than these women groups , perhaps the women groups can give the wives they are talking about appointment cards, it is good to be among all of these smart people like doc, and the rest of them (boy they smart yea,)

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Bobsyeruncle 8 months ago

How the xxxx does a pastor know more about other peoples marriages than they do? Why, when I look up the word misogynistic in a dictionary, does your name crop up?

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birdiestrachan 8 months ago

The appointment cards will let their husbands know the time and date when they will be allowed to even sleep in their marital beds that should help,

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themessenger 8 months ago

Birdie, I live in hope that one day I will read about you having been beaten and raped, but then, as demented as you are you might be one of those who actually enjoys that sort of treatment.

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ScullyUFO 8 months ago

Pastors should be telling the menfolk in their congregations that if a wife says "not tonight dear", then it means "not tonight dear" and follow the Golden Rule. If this happened and the menfolk complied then we wouldn't even be talking about it.

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