The Tribune

By RENALDO DORSETT

Sports Reporter

rdorsett@tribunemedia.net

For the purpose of this column we’re assuming that I picked the right winner of last night’s game correctly. It’s not fair but neither is the fact that the last two Super Bowl champions barely sneaked their way into the playoffs through a window tighter than Kanye’s pants.

This year the Ramblings will throw a twist into the traditional picks column.

Let’s face it, there are about 8-9 teams in the power circle that have a pretty good shot at winning Super Bowl XLVII, and about 3-4 teams on the tier just below with the legit opportunity to overachieve and hoist the Lombardi trophy.

In short, I have no idea what’s going to happen.

I was completely done with this season when Roger Goodell transformed from the Soup Nazi to the star of the NFL Draft with his series of hip hop handshakes and manhugs, like everyone’s uncle that’s just a little too old to be that cool.

We’ll all prognosticate, but there’s a 50-50 shot at getting this right from week to week.

To that end, I figured there’s no better way to prove this point than to be joined this year in the picks column by one of my co-workers, Sancheska Brown - who knows absolutely nothing about football, and DD Fisher - one of our readers who will write in picks every week.

As soon as we figure out sponsors, a reasonable wager, (non monetary of course if my mom is reading this), we’ll fill in the public on what the winner of this whole thing will walk away with at the end of the year.

That being said...it feels good to have an early 1-0 lead.

Buffalo Bills at New York Jets

If I was objective, I would call the Jets’ offense a “work in progress” but as a Dolphin fan I’ll sit back and enjoy the dysfunction. Never trust a head coach that loses weight, I learned this the hard way with Tony Sparano. If he dedicates that much time to eating right and working out, he can’t possibly be working as hard as he should be on the practice field and in the film room. This is why I can never trust Rex Ryan and why I’ll always trust Bill Belichick who’s worn the same hoodie for the past 25 years. Big year for Ryan Fitzpatrick and Jeremy Lin. We know find out what happens with Harvard guys once they get the money.

• BILLS over Jets 

Indianapolis Colts

at Chicago Bears

So happy for Jay Cutler. It’s like seeing a friend finally escape an abusive relationship and start dating Kate Upton. Reuniting with Brandon Marshall puts Jay Cutler in the conversation automatically with every other elite quarterback in the NFC. I’m not overstating this. He was playing the last few seasons with a mediocre offensive line and his biggest threat at wideout was the game’s greatest kick returner, but 8,754th best receiver. I’ve already resigned to the fact that I have to watch Andrew Luck’s entire career with the same wistful look I have when I see Kevin Durant drain jumper after jumper. Thank you Blazers for picking Greg Oden and thank you Dolphins for falling out of the luck sweepstakes. I hate you both.

• BEARS over Colts

Philadelphia Eagles at Cleveland Browns

Vick...LeBron just tossed the “Lord of the Flies” conch to you, and it’s now your turn to force Skip Bayless to shutup. This is it for the Eagles right now. All they need is for Andy Reid to fly in Ray Lewis to give Casey Matthews the Madden 13 intro pep talk, stare him down and say “Be a Matthews.” That’s it, and the Eagles win the Super Bowl. It helps that Vick is playing Brandon Weeden in week one and they’re the same age, good job Cleveland. It has to hurt for Weeden to go from tossing the ball up to Justin Blackmon last year at Oklahoma St, now he looks to the right and sees Mohamed Massaquoi.

EAGLES over Browns

Washington Redskins at New Orleans Saints

Bill Simmons made the reference with the Saints and HBO’s “The Wire,” and I loved it. I hate him for that but I’m going to run with it and match the entire cast to a player from this game. Sean Payton - Avon Barksdale, Drew Brees - Stringer Bell, Johnathon Vilma -Weebey Brice, RG3 - Marlo Stanfield, Marques Colston - Slim Charles, Replacement Refs - Omar.

SAINTS over Redskins

Jacksonville Jaguars at Minnesota Vikings

An exercise in futility if there ever was one. Without Adrian Peterson, the biggest star of this game is an unproven rookie reciver with braces. Ratings should be great for this game.

JAGS over Vikings

St Louis Rams at Detroit Lions

I love the Lions. Matthew Stafford threw for 5,000 yards which was just incredible to me. When I was a kid I would look at the back of Dan Marino’s cards at the 1984 season and thought no one else could ever do it. Some guy named Matthew just did and didn’t even make his conference championship. Bradford comes back this season, but just not in this game.

LIONS over Rams

Atlanta Falcons at Kansas City Chiefs

The bounty system is the clear cut MVP of the NFC South and the Falcons have to be the team to take advantage. Julio Jones is poised to have an even “breakout-ier” (made that up) season so more than any other team in the league, the success really hinges on the offensive line. The Chiefs basically get a mulligan from 2011 with just about every big name player hurt, so I’m not sure if they qualify as a sleeper. We need to review our sleeper criteria in this business.

FALCONS over Chiefs

Miami Dolphins at Houston Texans

This season will define the way sports fans look at vegans for an entire generation to come. If Arian Foster wins the rushing title and the Texans make a run at the Super Bowl like everyone expects them to, there may be something to this. As for the Dolphins...I’m just not going to talk about the Dolphins this year.

TEXANS over Dolphins

New England Patriots at Tennessee Titans

Tom Brady is back. The last time we saw him his wife was yelling about receivers not catching his poorly thrown balls.That’s motivation if I’ve ever heard. My only concern with the Pats this year was Welker’s anti-LeBron rant, I’m going to have to take Chris Johnson because of that....well not really, but Welker’s not cool.

PATS  over Titans

San Francisco 49ers at Green Bay Packers

Clearly the game of the week and the most difficult one to pick by far. I’m going to just go ahead and call it the biggest game of the year, right here, right now…week one.

PACKERS over Niners

Carolina Panthers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

This game is going to determine who’s that sneaky chic pic this season and exactly how much better these teams are rated in Madden by the end of the first quarter of the season. Josh Freeman is ready because people are saying “he’s in the best shape of his career.” Do you have any idea how good my writing will be when I’m in “the best shape of my career.” That phrase at the beginning of any sentence and you can convince me of anything. Examples...”George Bush running in 2016 they say he’s in the best shape of his career. Rick Ross is running for Mayor of Miami as a Republican and he’s in the best shape of his career.” Try it. It works?

PANTHERS over Bucs

Seattle Seahawks at Arizona Cardinals

Larry Fitzgerald begged for the Cards to take Floyd on draft day but he forgot to beg for a quarterback. The Matt Leinhart draft is still haunting this them (take note Dolphin fans).

SEAHAWKS over Cards

Pittsburgh Steelers at Denver Broncos

My power circle of athletes - Peyton Manning, Usain Bolt, Lebron James. I’m completely irrational when it comes to them and I refuse to look at anything objectively. Therefore I think Manning’s your comeback player of the year and MVP. “Hold Me Back” has been the soundtrack for his entire comeback trail. They told him he had to get out of Indy, they told him his arm strength would never come back, but Manning will be back on the field Sunday and all will be right with the world. By the way, the Steelers lost to Tim Tebow so I’m not taking them seriously until they’re at least 13-1, then maybe.

BRONCOS over Steelers

Cincinnati Bengals at Baltimore Ravens

Tough schedule for the Ravens. They have to let Flacco go and shift in how they perceive themselves. If Lee Evans caught that pass, we may be looking at the defending Super Bowl champions. I think Baltimore goes to the Super Bowl this year and that’s why they got the Madden 13 intro. After the speech Ray Lewis gave after the loss to the Pats, I don’t imagine they’re losing to anyone outside the top four teams in the league.

RAVENS over Bengals

San Diego Chargers at Oakland Raiders

The return of Philip Rivers, the real one not that shell of a man we saw last year. It also coincides with Antonio Gates finally being healthy. The Raiders are playing with Carson Palmer at quarterback, who’s the poster child of being 32 but seeming 62. Raiders shouldn’t be overlooked for the mere fact that it’s still a divisional game.

RAIDERS over Chargers

Sannie’s Picks

GIANTS over Cowboys

-”I like the shopping in New York.”

BILLS over Jets

-”Buffalo has cuter uniforms.”

BEARS over Colts

-”I like Bears, the mascot is tougher”

BROWNS over Eagles

-”Well all Browns are winners. We’re the best.”

SAINTS over Redskins

-”New Orleans has better partying.”

VIKINGS over Jags

-”Vikings are cuter. The rugged look is hot.”

RAMS over Lions

-”I just like how St Louis sounds.”

FALCONS over Chiefs

-”I love Atlanta.”

DOLPHINS over Texans

-”I like Miami, the shopping, partying...everything.”

PATS over Titans

-”I heard about the Patriots before.”

PACKERS over Niners

-”I’ve heard about the Packers before too.”

BUCS over Panthers

-”They have a weird colour scheme, but I like it.”

CARDS over Seahawks

-”Arizona has a good drink, I drink it all the time.”

STEELERS over Broncos

-”The Steelers just seem tough.”

RAVENS over Bengals

-”I liked the Ravens when I watched flag football.”

RAIDERS over Chargers

-”I went to Oakland and they had the sexiest men I’ve ever seen. I like to wear black and grey too.”

Fisher’s Picks

JETS over Bills

BEARS over Colts

EAGLES over Browns

SAINTS over Redskins

JAGS over Vikings

LIONS over Rams

FALCONS over Chiefs

TEXANS over Dolphins

PATS over Titans

NINERS over Packers

PANTHERS over Bucs

SEAHAWKS over Cards

STEELERS over Broncos

RAVENS over Bengals

CHARGERS over Raiders