The Tribune

By ALESHA CADET

Tribune Features Reporter

acadet@tribunemedia.net

MAINTAINING quality relationships may be a complicated process, but applying good old fashion rules and values could makes the joyride flow comfortably.

There is no doubt that times have changed and people are into new things, but there are still a few ageless and everlasting rules in the dating book that should still apply, according to some experts. These rules may sometimes make or break a relationship.

Tribune Woman complied a list of the top six old fashion rules that women feel still apply: picking up the check, opening the door; woo and pursue; holding hands; good manners/respect and calling after a date.

Motivational speaker and author Sherika Brown said affection is one of those things that stimulate a woman. She said women are still attracted to men who are willing to hold hands in public, or open the car door on a date.

“I believe all types of affection are still necessary. I believe that when we take away certain things from a relationship, we take away what makes us a woman. Some of the things that our parents have taught us, they were there for a reason because it maintained the differences from a man and a woman,” said Ms Brown.

Speaking about old fashion rules and values, she said she still believes men should take the lead when it comes to pursuing. She said once a woman gets to a place of comfort in the relationship, she should get involved, but the leadership should begin with the man himself.

“I think the old fashion rules lay a good foundation to build a healthy relationship,” she said.

For Jessica, a young Bahamian woman, opening doors during a date is important to her. She said a man that does this without a woman even asking, shows that he is a gentleman and it shows that he wants to take care of her.

“I also like the fact that if you are cold, your man gives you his jacket; these are old fashion things that should still apply. There are so many guys who are trifling and do not know how to act, so when you meet a guy with old fashion values, you know that is someone worth getting to know,” said Jessica.

When talking about wooing and pursuing, Katherine, another Bahamian said, even though people are living in an age of equality, she still enjoys the wooing part in a relationship.

“He doesn’t necessarily have to pick up the tab for every time, but I also think it is important that a man compliments his woman and tells her she is beautiful. He should still initiate dates, organise everything and take some kind of control,” said Katherine.

Ms Brown noted that when a woman allows a man to court her and do the pursuing, he still maintains his leadership. With him doing that, it will maintain his attraction to his lady, she said.

“When we reverse the roles and the women is in charge, that kills his attraction to us. And so my belief is that, the old fashion dating rules should still remain the same. Put it like this, there is something in the man’s brain that causes him to be stimulated by the chase and when the woman takes charge, the chase is killed so that is basically it,” said Ms Brown.

Maria said “calling after a date” is crucial  because it shows a person that you have them on your mind. She said this sits well with women because sometimes they are just “not sure.”

“Not sure if it went well, not sure if he is interested, so that call can mean a whole lot. Reach out by just saying something as simple as, I really had a good time, it means a lot. I won’t say that women just sit down at home by the phone hopelessly waiting on the call, because I don’t, but it would be nice sometimes to just get the call,” said Maria.

25 year old Veronica said “good manners and respect” should not only apply to dating, it should also be apart of who a person is.

“Being respectful is crucial, because if you are not, we will not get very far. I do not only see being respectful as speaking to me politely, I also see it as not trying control me or run my life. I also think a man should respect my opinions. Respect is a must in any type of relationship whether it is friendship, relationship with family members, or an intimate bond,” said Veronica.

When it comes to holding hands, Selena said this simple embrace just says “I am yours and you are mine.” She said it has nothing to do with being clingy or anything like that, it is more than just that.

“Simple, but beautiful. Showing any type of affection is a great way to tell your partner how much you love and appreciate them. I also think this kind of shows the level of maturity couples display in a relationship,” said Selena.