The Tribune

By RENALDO DORSETT 

Sports Reporter

rdorsett@tribunemedia.net

In an effort to make all women upset, the NFL has scheduled Thursday games all season long. That means we have a full schedule of football nearly the entire week. Wednesday is Fantasy League prep day and we keep going until Monday night when the final football game of the weekend ends it all. It ultimately gives women one day of quality time where they don’t have to hear about football. Roger Goodell is sitting in his office right now saying “You can thank me later.” Consider it revenge for Valentine’s Day.

NFL Picks Week Three

New York Giants at Carolina Panthers

Cam Newton 2.0 looked pretty good last week in what can only be considered a direct response to this RGIII lovefest. Now he faces a struggling Giants defense which is obviously not playoff ready after being shredded by Josh Freeman and Tony Romo. The Giants offense lost Ahmad Bradshaw and Hakeem Nicks so the uphill battle continues. Cam will do everything short of throwing it and catching it himself to put the Panthers over the top.

PANTHERS over Giants

Tampa Bay Buccanneers

at Dallas Cowboys

Seriously Dallas? I buy into the hype and you lay down in Seattle to a rookie quarterback with confusing hair. Same old Cowboys - one week look like world beaters and the next week...well we saw what happened. Both teams came out with something to prove after the Cowboys got dominated and the Bucs let one slip away. By the way if you saw the Bucs’ secondary, you start every Cowboy wideout you have in fantasy cause I don’t know if there is a more incompetent group in the league last week. Can’t happen again right?

BUCS over Cowboys

Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns

CJ Spiller stole Chris Johnson’s power’s a la the All Star Monstars from Spacejam...and no one reported it. How long can he keep it up? I’m guessing another week against the Brown’s front seven. Off topic, I’m investigating whether Joe Haden took a “banned substance” on purpose after the Browns were so bad in week one...more on this later.

BILLS over Browns

Detroit Lions at Tennessee Titans

I’m officially off the Chris Johnson bandwagon. Which I’m almost positive means he’ll rush for 250 yards this game. Megatron has yet to breakout yet and facing a team which seems just about to ready to give up on the season, this could be the week he proves why he’s on the Madden cover.

LIONS over Titans

San Francisco 49ers at

Minnesota Vikings

Christian Ponder is actually the league’s top rated passer. This is the last time that sentence will ever be uttered because this week...Christian Ponder now faces Patrick Willis.

NINERS over Vikings

Cincinnati Bengals at

Washington Redskins

As much as I love RGIII, missing Brian Orakpo and Adam Carriker may be too much for this team to overcome.

BENGALS over Redskins

St Louis Rams at Chicago Bears

I’m happy for Sam Bradford, he needs to live up to his potential for his perfect quarterback name. Jay Cutler has to be happy not to be playing against Clay Matthews. That alone is good for about four touchdown passes.

BEARS over Rams

Kansas City Chiefs at

New Orleans Saints

We’re still waiting on the Chiefs to show up this season, we may have to wait even longer for the Saints to get their “Who Dat” swagger back. Playing against a team on the brink of a collapse is exactly what Drew Brees needs right now.

SAINTS over Chiefs

New York Jets at Miami Dolphins

Nearly a year ago, the entire Tebow fiasco began with the first of at least a dozen incredible comeback efforts. Here is where it ends. After Sanchez completed just 10-27 passes last week, the writing is on the wall. There was a time, in yesteryear, a LONG LONG time ago when this was the most-anticipated matchup in the AFC East. I plan to bring it back there with my five million reasons to hate the Jets. Reason no. 23453 - Ken O’Brien’s hair.  

DOLPHINS over Jets

Jacksonville Jaguars at

Indianapolis Colts

I’m beginning to think the NFL didn’t want Andrew Luck to rush into the season on “All-Madden” with these first three opponents. I can’t believe I’m saying this twice in the same column....but good call Goodell.

COLTS over Jags

Atlanta Falcons at San Diego Chargers

Everyone on the Falcons roster listens to 2Chainz. I can tell just by looking at them. Whenever I see them doing the “black guy listening to music sway while lip syncing lyrics,” I imagine it’s to a 2Chainz song. This goes for Matt Ryan also, except Matty Ice has no idea who Stevie J is. It’s really the only thing holding this team back from being the official “MediaTakeout” team of 2012. I’m saying all that cause I have no feel for this game at all. The Chargers are finally winning early but have an injured Gates and Matthews, who oddly enough, it seemed weren’t even missed. The Falcons got cautious late against Peyton and nearly gave the game away. Mike Smith is too conservative. It’s only a matter of time before Arthur Blank sees what I do with this team on Madden and hands the reigns over to me. Shoutgun, Falcons Trio... Touchdowns.

FALCONS over Chargers

Philadelphia Eagles at Arizona Cardinals

The Cardinals are 2-0 and on their second quarterback of the year. How did that happen, what year is this and how old am I? The Eagles are the most unconvincing 2-0 I’ve seen in a while...and I love it. They’re trying to “Eli” us into forgetting about them, but I won’t. I refuse to take any of the Vick protégés ahead of him, it’s just a rule I have.

EAGLES over Cards

Houston Texans at Denver Broncos

With this schedule I’m beginning to see why everyone has pegged the Texans to come out of the AFC. An easy schedule, two Pro Bowl running backs, Andre Johnson, an incredible defense all adds up to a 13 win season. That being said none of us can really root against Peyton Manning can we? Just when he threw three picks and we thought we were out...he brings the Broncos back and reels us right in again. 

BRONCOS over Texans

Pittsburgh Steelers at Oakland Raiders

The Raiders had problems with Ryan Tannehill now they face Big Ben, Peyton and Matty Ice in their next three games. Fun.

STEELERS over Raiders See E2

New England Patriots at Baltimore Ravens

The loss to Arizona...an aberration or the beginning of the end of the dynasty. I’m really eager to get this end of the dynasty thing going. It makes for great storylines. The Pats haven’t had a good “us against the world” theme since they got caught cheating with Spygate.

RAVENS over Pats

Green Bay Packers at Seattle Seahawks

Reports of the demise of the Packers locker room has been greatly exaggerated. Clay Matthews will either make Aaron Rodgers and Jermichael Finley talk out their issues logically, fight to the death or anything in between. It’s Clay Matthews, you try telling him no.

PACKERS over Seahawks

Sannie’s Picks

GIANTS over Panthers

“Eli plays for the Giants right? Yea I heard Nicki Minaj call his name in a song before”

COWBOYS over Bucs

“The Cowboys won for me last week so I’m sticking with them.”

BILLS over Browns

Usually I don’t go against the Browns, but I think I might be in love with Steve Johnson. I can always change my last name when we get married.”

LIONS over Titans

“Okay, I just read Calvin Johnson signed the biggest contract in NFL history. I just want him to keep winning so I can help him spend that $132 million someday.”

NINERS over Vikings

“San Francisco was the first city I ever travelled to alone.”

REDSKINS over Bengals

“The Bengals beat my boys the Browns. No way I want them to win.”

RAMS over Bears

“Danny Amendola is too cute. I’ll root for him anyday.”

CHIEFS over Saints

“New Orleans let me down twice. The partying must really be too good there.”

DOLPHINS over Jets

“Reggie Bush let go of Kim Kardashian, which is always a great thing.”

COLTS over Jags

“Colts won for me last week and there’s something about this Andrew Luck. I trust him”

FALCONS over Chargers

“Love and Hip Hop Atlanta is taking me to 3-0.”

EAGLES over Cards

“I’m so proud of Michael Vick for coming back from the dog thing. Everyone was so hard on him, I just want to see him win.”

TEXANS over Broncos

“Beyonce is from Houston. Enough said.”

STEELERS over Raiders

“I’m picking against Eddie. He’ll understand.”

PATS over Ravens

“Tom Brady always wins right? Well even if he doesn’t it seems like it.”

PACKERS over Seahawks

“Renaldo likes Russell Wilson and that can’t be a good thing, I just haven’t figured out why.”