The Tribune

There is the stock market index, economic and GDP index as well as the cost of living index. But the one index that is become increasingly popular today is the so-called misery index.

While these indexes may provide valuable data regarding an economic outlook, they fail to identify levels of happiness and quality of life. Why identify the misery people endure and not simultaneously assess the happiness they enjoy?

Even so, there are millions of happy people all over the world and even more who are vivaciously in pursuit of happiness. Indeed, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are ingrained in the United States’ Declaration of Independence as inalienable rights given by their creator to all human beings.

Ultimately, it is the quality of the people that make the society, not the society that makes the people. A happy, thriving society is the product of happy, inspired people.

I was privilege to spend ten incredible days in the breathtaking city of Bangkok, Thailand. It was the most enlightening of all of my travel destinations, not because of its organised infrastructure and intriguing culture, but it stood out purely because of the humble and amiable attitude of the people.

They each held to a collective responsibility to represent the essence of their society in how they showed every day. Despite issues of low standard of living, people there seem to enjoy an elevated quality of life, which was evident in their genuine smiles and respectful dispositions.

When it comes to our Bahamas paradise, are the men and women of these pristine islands, happy enough? Are we truly lifting “our heads to the rising sun and marching towards common, loftier goals”, as admonished by our national anthem? What are the indicators of this?

The key to understanding your degree of happiness is to know what makes you happy as a person. Fleeting moments of ecstasy, which is the result of something borrowed, something new or other external motivations are often surface based. They offer very little sustained well-being beyond the early stages.

In addition, you must contend with the many established social norms and expectations about who you should or should not be. This alone challenges your confidence to cut your own slice of the happiness pie.

The fact is happiness is a subjective quality, which means different things to different people. At its core, happiness is an internal value rooted in enriching emotions of well-being, high self-esteem, worthiness, and feelings of personal contentment.

While this sounds like an easy bed of roses, happiness remains elusive for many. One of the main reasons people find happiness difficult to nail down is their assumptions about what it is and their limiting perceptions about what is possible.

Many men and women simply do not believe they are good, worthy or smart enough to be happy; thinking happiness will come when they get this or that – but even when they do, it never does.

You may think things or people can define what makes you happy, but the truth is your happiness is purely a function of your perception, beliefs and personal expectations.

While your achievements may lend to the feeling of being happy, do they offer lasting happiness? There are scores of wealthy, high achievers who live a life of discontent.

Happiness comes from within, not without. You must find ways to be happy with who you are inside your life, before you can sincerely be happy with who you are inside the world.

In small societies such as ours, where people know people, it is easy to take facial expressions as a sign of what they feel. Smiles can be as deceiving as the absence of a smile. Still, if you were to take a poll today to assess happiness amongst men and women, based on facial expression and attitude alone, would you say that we have a society of happy or miserable people? Are men or women happier?

Assessing happiness is not necessarily a scientific process; it is after all, subjective. Nonetheless, we must find innovative ways to determine, not only our happiness index, but also to inspire the pursuit of happiness. Without happy men and women, what is the hope for the well-being of our children?

Commit to finding happiness within yourself before seeking to find it in others. Only you know your deepest desires as well as your deepest fears.

Resist the tendency to allow yourself to be stereotyped by societal norms on what happiness should or should not mean to you. People often allow their lives to be so type cast to the point where they do not know whose life they are living.

This I believe is particularly true for many men, who spend most of their lives trying to measure up to society’s onerous expectations, often without reliable emotional support. We must revisit those outmoded ways in which we raise our sons, support our men, and measure our quality of life.

Although it may not be apparent to many, I believe that a sincere focus on the state of happiness of our men, their health and emotional confidence, is the key to reorienting our current social outcome. We however must be willing to make the shift.

Make today the day that you take the lead in assessing your happiness. When you are genuinely happy, you unknowingly give others the courage to do the same.

Now is the time to shift your life paradigm.

What do you think?

Please send your comments to coaching242@yahoo.com or 429-6770. Michelle M. Miller is a certified Life-Coach, Leadership Expert and Author of Take The Lead. She is the CEO of TTL Coaching Strategies and founder of the Girls Leadership Coaching Club. She is the host of “Men & The e-Factor”, a radio programme.