The Tribune

IT has come as a bit of a surprise that an entire radio show was devoted to society’s respect for Bahamian women, yet there was absolutely no mention of the fact that women are abused and battered in our society and suffer alarming levels of what we so nicely term domestic violence, which is simply violence.

Violence dressed up in any softening terms, violence in a robe is no less violent, and the Bahamas is one of the top countries where violence against women is “practiced” in the world. Yet, we love and respect our women.

Bahamian women seem to suffer from what can only be called a severe case of “second-class citizenshipness”. They are treated worse than most men, have fewer rights and worked harder than most men, yet we say we love and respect them.

We pay women less than we pay men for the same job, and often with more education than their male counterparts they still earn less.

Women outnumber males in graduating classes yet are underrepresented in Cabinet and in all other public positions except in the civil service.

We talk a great deal about the respect we have for teachers and how important they are to the country and the development of the nation, yet we treat them poorly, disrespect them and pay them badly. Ironically perhaps, most teachers are women.

As a nation, we undervalue women’s labour and accomplishments, unless it is to say that they are mothers. We see being a mother and referring to a woman as such as lifting them to lofty heights. Yet being a man and being a father does not necessarily mean the same thing. Is this inequality or simply bigoted sexism?

‘The Conversation’ talked about how much Bahamian men appreciated Bahamian women. Why does this sound strange given that so many Bahamian men control “their” women through violence or mental abuse?

We often hear men talking about how they have their women in check, meaning she better have his food on the table after she gets home from work, if not…

And this we hear is love. Really? Why do we equate love with violence? I love you, come here let me slap you! This sounds like anything other than love. However, according to some men, they love Bahamian women and Bahamian women insist on being respected and on being treated well. This is another hard pill to swallow, it is an especially bitter pill as the problem of violence against women is mammoth. Do we know how big that word is? Rape is also a serious problem that brings the “woman-loving” Bahamas into the top five countries in the world. Do we really believe that women have it so good here?

When it comes to equality before the law, women suffer horribly. However, many women choose not to change this.

Why is this so? Why are so many women against women’s empowerment?

There are a few, very few women in positions of power and they hold control over an entire population of women and men. This is about class, race and privilege, not about sex or gender. Many of those women want nothing to change. They are happy with the status quo. There are some women who believe that men should be in charge; they believe in the patriarchal myth as espoused by some proponents of some books of the Bible.

These chunks of scripture are taken out of context, read and passed on as if they were the law itself, the natural order, according to many “Christians”, especially those in power. They see this as a zero sum gain. They want no one else to challenge their position of power. Apparently there is not enough power to go around.

While the pews are filled with women who are willing to be led by whichever man is in charge, they are granted fewer rights and less of a voice. It is not ironic either that many women do not feel that women should be in charge in the church, only men should lead. Is this women being respected?

When we argue that women are deserving of lesser treatment than men, we are actually saying that women are worth less than men; they are second-class citizens, subject to patriarchal control because they are unable to govern themselves, and should be beaten to a pulp, but we love them.

In the 18th century, women were seen as inferior subjects, incapable of thinking deeply, subject to fits of emotions and so untrustworthy. In the 19th century a similar trend was followed. This was a particularly Victorian view of women, yet Queen Victoria was a woman. She was not interested in liberating ALL women from the prison of gender inequality and poverty that their subject status inflicted on them.

Prior to Mary Wollstoncraft’s “A Vindication of the Rights of Woman” (1792), which coincided with a cry for men to be viewed as equal as well during the French Revolution, there was only a small push for women’s empowerment. Yet in Britain the laws have evolved to such an extent that women are now far more equal than they are in the Bahamas. But Bahamian men love and respect Bahamian women because they know what they want and they know how they want to be treated. The men talking on that radio show seemed convinced that women in the Bahamas have a great life and are loved and respected by their male counterparts.

Apparently we still live in a society that loves and respects women even while we beat them; a society that still believes that a man should own a woman; a society where banks will not open an account for a woman without her husband’s signature; a society where women are often not “allowed” to buy a house without their husband’s permission. It is enlightening to hear men talk about how much we love women and how well women are doing in this country when women can be raped and killed by their boyfriends because they wanted to leave them and these men be granted bail because it was a crime of passion – she provoked him; he had to defend his masculinity.

This is a society where women cannot pass on their citizenship as men can, but this shows respect for women. We live in a society where the government can offer to make things “right” for women and the last time this question on women’s rights arose, they chose not to back it.

Is it any wonder we are in the position we are in? While it was heartwarming to hear men talk about their love and respect for women, why does this not translate into anything real on the ground? Given our love and respect for women, why do we still choose to disregard women and encourage their exploitation and inequality?