The Tribune

Week 1 Awards

The “Trigger Fingers Turn To Twitter Fingers” Award, presented by Meek Mill - Russell Wilson. Ciara’s boyfriend took to Twitter on Saturday, to predict a Seattle win with his customary “1-0 #GoHawks.” Of course, after the Rams 34-31 upset, Black Twitter exploded with everyone from the Rams official Twitter account to linebacker Akeem Ayers chiming in. A fan got flipped off too. Good times all around.

The “Admit It, Even In Your Wildest Dreams, You Had No Idea I Could Put Up These Kinds Of Numbers” Award, presented by Donald Trump - Marcus Mariota. Maybe you thought Maritta should have been picked ahead of Winston on draft night. Maybe you thought he would get the better in week one or have the better career. I’m certain nobody thought Mariota would finish 13-16 for 209 yards and four touchdowns, with a near perfect passer rating, and have the luxury of sitting out the fourth quarter.

The “I Promise You, At One Point This Seemed Like A Really Really Really Good Idea” Award, presented by BahaMar - Buffalo Bills Fans. During their week one win over the Colts, fans at Ralph Wilson Stadium started chanting, “We want Brady!” Be careful what you wish for.

Week 2

Broncos at Chiefs

SANNIE: Blah blah Peyton Manning blah blah great blah blah can’t lose. So I choose him.

BRONCOS over Chiefs

RENALDO: I miss that blind optimism she has, but I’m officially concerned about Peyton Manning. That game looked very “Ali vs Holmes-ish”. I knew this day would come, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Is Peyton now a glossy-eyed punch drunk fighter stumbling over sentences and in this case struggling to hit open receivers? Peyton failed to throw a touchdown for the third time in the past five regular season games. I need the sheriff to right these wrongs, go out and throw four touchdowns, and restore order. By the way, Alex Smith still hasn’t thrown a touchdown to a receiver. Good luck Jeremy Maclin.

BRONCOS over Chiefs

Patriots at Bills

SANNIE:   Tom Brady is so sexy, his wife is beautiful and apparently he was involved in a scandal. So he is cute and he has a bad side. Let’s go Patriots!

PATS over Bills

RENALDO: If he was Bahamian I wonder how “cute” and endearing his “bad side” would be for (allegedly) cheating on his wife. But I digress, the Patriots were one of  the most complete teams in week one because they had the best chemistry. They looked like the same team from last year and are still riding high off the Super Bowl 49 win. A franchise known for its cohesiveness has been brought together by the most powerful force in human innovation…spite. Spite drove Mark Zuckerburg to create Facebook and it may drive Belichick and Brady to a perfect season. Also, Rex Ryan chose to take a shot at Miami when defending Charles Clay, which has to be the first time in 15 years someone has overlooked the Pats to discuss the Dolphins at a press conference. I’m grateful for small blessings.

PATS over Bills

Texans at Panthers

SANNIE: Cameron Jerrell Newton.

PANTHERS over

Texans

RENALDO: You know the thirst is real when they say a guy’s middle name. The Panthers looked as awful as expected without Kelvin Benjamin in the lineup. That’s their second biggest star on offence and they may have lost their biggest star on defence when Luke Kuechly went down with a concussion. If they weren’t playing the Jags it would have been a long week for Cam and Co. Now that the preseason is over for the Texans, we get to see what this team will really look like with their quarterback of the future at the helm. But on behalf of Cam Newton, for God’s sake, someone has to get open or we’ll see Watt and Clowney meet him in the backfield again and again.

TEXANS over Panthers

Chargers at Bengals

SANNIE: Does Manti Te’o still play? Has he found a real girlfriend yet?  He made it on Catfish yet?

CHARGERS at Bengals

RENALDO: There’s a better chance of Lenny Kekua popping up at next week’s game than there is of a September version of the Chargers to string together two games in a row with that level of efficiency and firepower.

BENGALS over

Chargers

Bucs at Saints

SANNIE: My brother Donavan is a Tampa Bay fan, so I’m going to be nice and pick them for him. This time. You better bring me luck boy!

BUCS over Saints

RENALDO: I don’t know who first came up with the idea to hire Lovie Smith, I don’t know why Jameis didn’t open up the game with a sure check-down, I don’t know what this Bucs offence will look like once Mike Evans come back. What I do know is that Tampa Bay showed virtually no improvement from last year’s team that won two games at home. Warren Sapp must be rolling over in his grave.

SAINTS over BUCS

49ers at Steelers

SANNIE: I love San Fran!! And Renaldo for your information I have been there, even  stumbled onto a Gay Pride Parade.

NINERS over Steelers

RENALDO: Was that a visit you made like college recruits make when a team is trying to convince them to sign a letter of intent? What was their sales pitch? How effective was it? Did you consider signing with the LGBT team? Wait….did you sign with the LGBT team? What happened at this parade? Is there video? I have so many questions …. seriously though, is there video?

STEELERS over Niners

Titans at Browns

SANNIE: Who designed the Titans logo? It looks so childish. Nope. Can’t pick them.

TITANS over Browns

RENALDO: Can we stop trying to make the Browns happen? I get it NFL, valiant effort…but it’s not going to work. Johnny Manziel brought the franchise back for a brief second and things looked up…until Brandon Marshall ripped an interception away and the Browns reverted to a team with five turnovers playing with a second string quarterback. After facing his second horrible defence in as many weeks, can we even get an accurate read on Mariotta at this point?

TITANS over Browns

Cardinals at Bears

SANNIE: Chicago needs some good news, y’all think the crime is bad here, google what’s happening in Chicago.

CARDS over Bears

RENALDO: I like this new, young, spritely version of Carson Palmer. No, it’s not weird John Brown lived with him in the offseason, not weird at all. I’ll continue to have that opinion as long as the Cardinals keep winning.

CARDS over Bears

Lions at Vikings

SANNIE: I just started watching Vikings and I love it so far. So as long as the show is good, I’m choosing the Vikings (sorry Cecil).

VIKINGS over Lions

RENALDO: Ragnar Lodbrok and everyone else lost me somewhere along season three, I think these Vikings lose this game a lot sooner. Let’s not get too cute Mike Zimmer, unleash Adrian Peterson. I don’t care if the Vikings are down by 50, there’s no excuse for AP getting so few touches.

LIONS over Vikings

Falcons at Giants

SANNIE: Kroy Biermann!! I love “Don’t be Tardy” ( a reality show for those of you who don’t know) Kroy is such a great father!

FALCONS over Giants

RENALDO: I won’t say the Falcons owe their week one win to me but I did listen to Young Scooter’s “Julio” at least 15 times in the gym that morning. He responded with non catches for 141 yards and two touchdowns. There’s no one on the Giants’ team that has a cool song named after them…so there’s that.

FALCONS over Giants

Rams at Redskins

SANNIE: I mean seriously could Robert Griffin be any more unattractive? And when is he going to cut those braids? Geez.

RAMS OVER Redskins

RENALDO: Is Nick Foles the Matt Schaubb we always expected Matt Schaubb to be? The media and NFL fan bases have always created a hero out of the backups for Michael Vick, from Schaubb, to Kevin Kolb, to Foles. Foles may be the one that materialises into a star. Being right one of of three times isn’t bad and it also helps that he has the most insane defence in the league backing him up.

RAMS over Redskins

Ravens at Raiders

SANNIE: My co-host Eddie is on vacation and is actually going to watch this game. He loves this team and is taking his wife to obviously watch them lose. 

RAVENS over Raiders

RENALDO: I’m upset at myself for believing in the Raiders. I knew better. It’s like a guy being fooled by a girl before he asks her out for the first time. Their offseason was pretty all I saw was the two pounds of makeup, weave, girdles and waist shapers. Week one was the first date, we went to the beach and all that fake stuff came off. Now I see the Raiders for what they are…and its awful.

Ravens over Raiders

Dolphins

at Jaguars

SANNIE: Renaldo got so excited when the Dolphins won last week that he bought me ice cream. Trust me that is a big deal to anyone who knows me. I love ice cream, so I am hoping they win again.

DOLPHINS

over Jags

RENALDO: First of all, it was yoghurt. I would never willingly participate in buying her such a high level of sugar and saturated fat. Secondly, as you read the column the Dolphins are on pace for 19-0. That’s a fact, don’t argue against it. We survived one week of Suh and what I’m positive is a string of “near suspensions” to follow, a sub-par game from the offence, and a much hyped about defence being run roughshod by Alfred Morris…but I’m not here to be reasonable. We have a $100 million quarterback who deserves $200 million, Jarvis Landry is so unstoppable he should play defence too and as long as Miko Grimes is there to keep Brent in line, I expect 11 interceptions on the season, two this week.

DOLPHINS over Jags

Cowboys at Eagles

SANNIE: I really did “ennie meenie miny moe” and I landed on the Eagles so fingers crossed .

EAGLES over Cowboys

RENALDO: Oddly enough, that’s also how Demarco Murray decided where to sign in the offseason. This game is like the final revenge battle we would have to wait until the end of a movie to see…but we get it right out of the gate in week two. I’d like to be wrong about “Spraytan” Murray not being the right back for the Chip Kelly system, so i’ll take game one as an aberration and not the norm. Murray had eight carries for 11 yards for week one because Kelly was saving him to carry the ball 40 times for 200 yards this week. Joseph Rankle and Darren McFadden will have even more to prove now that Dez is out for a month and a half.

EAGLES over Cowboys

Seahawks

at Packers

SANNIE: As long as Ciara slays, Russell will slay. As long as he makes her happy, I will choose him.

SEAHAWKS over

Packers

RENALDO: Well since their relationship became public he lost the Super Bowl and lost in week one to a team that hasn’t made the playoffs in forever. Not sure how much slaying is going on here. Kam Chancellor must be somewhere “cackling and rolling a blunt” as Jason Whitlock would say. It took exactly one game for his absence to not only present itself as a glaring chink in the Seahawks defensive armour, but to be the exact reason the defending champs walked away with a week one loss on the road. Nick Foles completed 67 per cent of his passes for 297 yards and a touchdown last week…enter Aaron Rodgers. Now Mama Lynch is calling for Darrell Bevell’s job, Marshawn wears Kam’s jersey in practice and the locker room won’t stop playing Future.

PACKERS over

Seahawks

Jets at Colts

SANNIE: Andrew Luck didn’t bring me any luck last week, so there’s no way I am choosing him again.

JETS OVER Colts

RENALDO: Tough outing for the Colts and the Dorsett family in week one. Shut up about it, the NFL is hard and sometimes punts fall awkwardly. To say the Colts offence still has some kinks to work out is an understatement, however, they did open up against what could be the best defence in the league this year. The perfect ailment after that embarrassment…play the Jets.

COLTS over Jets