The Tribune

By Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya

AS the “corona” pandemic heightens around the world and throughout The Bahamas, let’s us all remain calm and aware.

In times like these cooler heads prevail.

HOARDING

Relax, frenzied Bahamian shoppers, there is no need to ‘grab up erryting in sight’ there are food supplies for up to three months, according local food stores.

So moving forward, please leave some water, bread, canned goods, coffee, tea and, of course, some toilet tissue, in your wake, for the rest of us who actually need some.

Seriously, if you need 144 rolls of toilet tissue for 14 days, there was something way wrong with you before the coronavirus - please seek medical attention immediately. But phone first, doctors are busy now.

FAKE NEWS

The coronavirus pandemic has also proven my theory, you know the one about smart phones, in the hands of the D average, correct!

Please all you “wanna be” media and loyal political minions out there, cease and desist from the unnecessary production of “fake news” (can we come up with a new term for this) just for “likes” or “follows” on your various social media platforms.

It does nothing but “bastardise” the real news process, and gives no beneficial information to the nation.

In a nutshell, know better, do better, and if not, here’s a fine or 18 months in HMP to think about it.

I’m in total agreement with the present administration on this one, and before all the finger pointers out there take aim, what I do is called “satire” both in this column and in “The Coldest” videos, therefore, I’m good, don’t mix me up on your run.

CURFEW

Finally, I’ve got to wrap this column up before “curfew”.

The “curfew”, I’m thinking was the contribution from the Office of the Spouse.

(Playing off the fact that professional sports is non existent at this time).

Let’s look at it more closely.

• Bars/Liquor Stores - CLOSED

• NO groups or gatherings more than ten persons.

• NO ONE on the roads between 9pm and 5am.

Really this equates to endless reruns of “chick flicks” along with Bravo and Lifetime programming in abundance.

Not to mention ample free time for us men to put in “work”; touch ups around the house, painting, cleaning, chores, etc.

Call me crazy (again), but I’m on to something I tell you!

Until next week, and I get to the bottom of the “curfew’’, please remain cool, calm and collected.

Follow the proper Ministry of Health, CDC and WHO guidelines and we should be all right, or at least we will all have some great home makeovers.