The Tribune

By INIGO ‘NAUGHTY’ ZENICAZELAYA

THE old saying ‘rules for thee, but not for me’ has been around from time immemorial. Since the days humans have organized themselves into little communities, citizens have had a sneaking feeling that those at the top have happily subjected ‘the little man’ to rules these leaders never intend to follow.

One gift (if we can call it that) of the global pandemic is that it has disabused us of any doubt on the matter. The short version: many world leaders do have this mindset. And you don’t have to search hard for proof.

In New Zealand, Health Minister David Clark got into hot water for breaking Covid protocols. While everyone else was locked down, he decided that he was entitled to a literal day at the beach. He admitted he was an “idiot” and offered his resignation, following the usual script. New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Adern refused to accept it at the time, but he was ultimately fired a few months later for being “a distraction.”

In Ireland, their agriculture minister, Dara Calleary, was forced to resign after being caught attending a “golf dinner’’ with no less than eighty people in attendance, breaking protocols. Calleary had only held his post for a month before his tee-time transgression forced his resignation. The Irish PM called Calleary’s actions “wrong and an error in judgment.” He accepted Calleary’s resignation immediately, freeing the renegade minister to spend more time working on his backswing.

In Canada, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer found themselves in hot water over long weekend trips when their less-powerful compatriots could only long for a trip out of the house. Even in the United States, where there are no national protocols, but rather piecemeal state laws, the politicians who disregarded the regulations are too many to count.

Our former Health Minister, Duane Sands, also found himself on the wrong side of the rules early in the pandemic and had to tender his resignation almost immediately.

Some politicos (as the family has many breeds) have tried to hang on for dear life once found violating laws. Which, honestly, isn’t surprising. Having studied politicians for many years now, I find they mainly do one of three things when caught in compromising positions: fight, flee or freeze.

Which brings us to this week, with clear examples of each kind of ‘threat response’ from world leaders we know all too well.

BORIS, BIDEN, AND BRAVE

Boris ‘Partyboy’ Johnson is practically the poster boy for bad behaviour when abiding by the rules. The UK Prime Minister caught Covid early on in the pandemic after pulling a dumb stunt and walking through a hospital filled with infected patients. He ended up with a stint in the ICU for what amounted to a photo opportunity. Having survived that, you would think he, of all people, would take the virus seriously.

BUT, NOPE

Not only has he managed to see his close advisor Dominic Cummings fired for breaking the rules by going on a long trip (as in, 250 miles long), but now the embattled PM is caught in further scandals. It turns out Boris attended a staff party when protocols forbade them.

And this was no ordinary party. Did I mention this was a staff attended, English garden gala? On top of that, the country was in national mourning because of Prince Philip’s passing. Yet, there was ‘Bring-your-own-Bottle’ Boris carousing in the catmints as if it was no big deal.

When questioned, Boris the Fighter, apologized to Queen and country (while on the brink of fake tears) and denied knowing beforehand about the party. Since that initial story broke, we’ve now learned he may have attended sixteen such soirées. It’s at the point there is an official ‘party gate’ investigation, and the police are currently involved.

In the United States, President Biden found himself in his own mini-misconduct story. It’s nothing to do with Covid protocols, but the ‘leader of the free world’ got caught on a hot-mic.

Thinking his microphone was off, Biden referred to a Fox News reporter who asked him about inflation as “a stupid son of a …” Well, let’s just say it wasn’t ‘gun.’

When the moment went viral, Biden, ever the statesman, called the reporter personally and apologized. With that small gesture (whether he meant what he said or not) Uncle Joe was able to ‘flee’ the controversy in an honourable way. Other politicians usually flee more significant controversies by handing in their resignations and heading for the hills.

AND NOW WE FIND OURSELVES BACK HOME

Our own Prime Minister, Philip ‘Brave’ Davis, openly admitted, without prompting, that he “broke quarantine.” And like any good Christian, he made his confession in a church.

Apparently, when he should have remained isolated from the public, Brave decided Christmas shopping on Bay Street (of all things) couldn’t wait. His story, which reads like a page out of a spy novel, is of a man who enlists his taxpayer-funded government aide, sneaks out of his safe house, slips in through a side door, completes the secret transaction, and escapes to home scot-free.

The thing is, he actually got away with not being “seen” and outed by the media at the time. But like all wrongdoers in B-list movies, he just couldn’t keep the success of his scheme to himself. Now, ‘Bragging Brave’ has some explaining to do.

So far, there has been no apology, nor has Brave paid the $500 fine the ‘little guys’ have paid when caught busting out of isolation during this pandemic. Instead, Brave is frozen.

Aside from a weak response from the Office of the Prime Minister denying he was ever placed into quarantine by a doctor, he has not stepped forward to enlighten us lowly subjects as to what, exactly, happened.

Minister of Health Dr. Darville offered a novel version of events; Yes, a health professional did advise the PM to isolate, but no, he didn’t break the rules because he was headed to isolation when he broke out of isolation. Or something like that. At this point, Brave’s story has more variants than Covid itself.

The question is, did he violate the law, or did he not violate the law? I’m afraid we’re in that famous “depends on what the meaning of the words is is “ territory.

What is clear is that instead of apologizing and fighting to save his reputation like Boris, or apologizing and fleeing the scandal altogether like Biden, Brave has decided to freeze up and do nothing at all. Even as his (and now Darville’s) reputation takes a significant hit. It’s likely the hardest part for our PM is the first step; apologizing. Though he was quick to boast of his escapade in the pulpit, he is now as quiet as a church mouse.

But who is surprised? If we’ve learned anything these past pandemic years, it’s that ‘rules for thee, but not for me’ is not only alive and well around the world, but especially so right here at home.