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ALICIA WALLACE: Why did this shameful ceremony happen, robbing the dead of their dignity and the bereaved a proper moment to grieve?

When my grandfather died I was out of the country for study. I had planned to return three weeks later, but got the support of my parents and the university to make the necessary arrangements to change the date. It was a difficult time of year because final exams were set to begin in a matter of days. Some people suggested I stay, but others, including my parents, told me to come home if that is what I needed to do.

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