Dealing With A Disgraceful Spouse

By JEFFARAH GIBSON Tribune Features Writer WHEN Johnathan* and his wife first met, it was her "tell it like it is" attitude he found most appealing. Unfortunately it was this same character trait he later grew to despise. "I use to be embarrassed almost every time she opened her mouth. She was bossy, rude to people most of the time. I always thought that attitude is not necessary. There was nothing good about it. She was inappropriate and that way about her got underneath my skin," he said. Jonathan is not the only married person to feel this way toward their spouse. Susan's marriage did not work with her ex-husband because they were "unequally yoked". "I am a God fearing woman and my husband was not of the same character. I am no longer embarrassed to admit it or talk about it. He was just a dishonest man. He stole things from me, my family, and lied like a fish. His dishonest nature was sickening and it eventually led to our break up," she said. Both Jonathan and Susan had troubling marriages. Their experiences mirror Proverbs 12:4, which states: "a wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones." In its new series, Tribune Religion selects a few adages from the book of Proverbs to further investigate their meaning. "When you look at this proverb at face value and when you think about decay in the bones, there has to be some sort of disease so bad, that it makes the bones decay. You want to be with someone that is of noble character and that means someone who is not rude, who is loving, kind, and who is not inappropriate. They will not be perfect all the time but they will have integrity," said Rev Angela Palacious.. "The spirit of the proverb is that you would want to be with someone that will be an asset to you and your family. This scripture has to be taken at face value," she said. Pastor Matthew Allen said it is in a Christian's best interest to be with someone who is of a noble character, as only good can come from the union. "This noble women is described in Proverbs 31 and she makes her husband very proud. But if she is disgraceful she brings dishonour to him. She is like termite to untreated wood," he said. As desirable as a noble man may be, he is not always that easy to find, said Shema, a Catholic follower. "We all want to have someone decent in our lives. But it seems integrity is lacking in people. It seems more people are dishonest, inappropriate and do not really measure up. There are not many options and it is difficult for people to recognise whether or not their spouse has a good character," she said. Maria told Tribune Religion that not only will the spouse described in the proverb be a disgrace, the significant other will also cause the demise of the marriage. "I know of a lot of people whose marriages either ended or soured because of this. When you are a disgrace to your partner, your partner will begin to hate you and hate the relationship," she said.


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