The Tribune

By Barrington H. Brennen

Who comes to your church to worship each week? Who are the members of your church? What kind of individuals and families units come to your church for instruction, inspiration or healing? Are you are aware of the different types of family units that come to your church each weekend; each one with their own needs and challenges and each with different expectations. Knowing about these family units and learning how to meet the unique needs of each family unit, are important to effective ministry.

Unfortunately, even if we are aware of some of the unique family units that come to church each week, the language or rhetoric from the pulpit does not really match the needs of every listener. For example, although divorce is not ideal but often necessary at times, we forget that there are countless divorcees worshiping each week and are language focuses only on the married couples. We know that it is not God’s plan for any one to drink or become an alcoholic, however, on many weekends there are countless individual who are struggling with the desires to drink. What do we do instead? We condemn and criticize. Too often the pulpit is used to push down people throats how to behave and not to heal or be encouraged. There are far too many hell-fire sermons. These are sermons that only talk about the importance of not sinning but never talk about helping the struggling sinner. It is a pathetic approach to the gospel. Too many preachers forget that Jesus said “come to me all who are heavy laden and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

Below is a list of some of the types of family units that might be in your church each weekend. Ask yourself if your church is truly meeting the needs of each of these units. I created this list several years ago to help us to think how effectively we are reaching everyone. Here is the list with brief explanations where necessary.

1. Nuclear families (married mom and dad with children)

2. One married parent with dependents while the other parent is in prison

3. Never-married single adult families (mom or dad alone with children)

4. Divorced with no children

5. Divorced with dependent children

6. Separated with dependent children

7. Separated with no dependent children

8. Widowed with dependent children

9. Widowed with no children

10. Step and blended families (One or both adults have children for previous marriage or relationship)

11. Extended families (Adult relatives, not parents, living together with children)

12. Grandparent with dependent children

13. Teenager with young siblings. This is surprisingly common in our country.

14. Common-law relationship (long-term adults living together with no commitment or plans to marry).

15. Seasonal or nomadic union. When on partner lives aboard for extremely long periods or permanent only seeing each other

annually or very rare occasions.

1. Emotionally separated or divorced union. This is a husband and wife who are living together but are going through severe problems and refuse to improve or divorce.

2. Affair-compromised union. One partner is aware that the other partner is having an affair and either tolerates or accepts it.