The Tribune

Buccaneers at Rams

RENALDO: Oh God, Thursday nights mean NFL Colour Rush. Which means we’re subjected to the NFL’s latest money grab scheme, these God awful uniforms. Avert your eyes away from the bright colours and away from Nick Foles.

BUCS over Rams

Sannie: OK, so the Bucs totally let me down last week after I went against my first thought and chose them. So, this week, that’s not happening again.

RAMS over BUCS

Jets at Cowboys

Sannie: Well this one is easy, the Cowboys refuse to win, so I refuse to choose them. NEXT!

JETS over Cowboys

RENALDO: The Cowboys did us all a favour by gracefully bowing out of the NFC East race. I was getting sick of that column that popped up during every game. Slowly but surely our list of “in the hunt” teams is dwindling down from 173 to about three or four.

JETS over Cowboys

Chiefs at Ravens

SANNIE: Alex Smith is cute! How have I not noticed this before? And his wife is beautiful too, let’s go Chiefs!

CHIEFS over Ravens

RENALDO: Is Alex Smith the latest “OK to good to great” bloomer of all time? It’s either him, Kevin Hart or the one girl we all knew who got no play in high school but went to college, gained weight in the right places, found the gym, and found sex appeal.

CHIEFS over Ravens

Texans at Colts

SANNIE: So, two teams with the same record, I will just go with Beyonce’s birthplace, King Bey won’t let me down. (Like Andrew Luck did last week)

TEXANS over Colts

RENALDO: Andrew Luck is back!…ish…maybe….Ok, I have no idea. What we know is that he was back at practice, put on the “I’m more important than you” quarterback jersey. Meanwhile Matt Hasselbeck’s 40-year-old body is still pissed off that it has to drag itself out there week after week and play NFL games. What it really wants to do is sit on the couch and work on developing that spare tire through an endless smorgasbord of microwave TV dinners and beer. I have no idea who’s playing quarterback for this team. Is Peyton Manning still available?

TEXANS over Colts

Titans at Patriots

SANNIE: I am never going against Tom Brady. Nope. Not going to happen.

PATRIOTS over Titans

RENALDO: Admit it, some of you fell for that “Pats are injured and falling apart” narrative. So Legarrate Blount is hurt this week and someone’s going to fall for it again. I won’t.

PATS over Titans

Bills at Racial Slurs

RENALDO: There’s a chance Kirk Cousins is good. I don’t know how to process those feelings. I feel like this shatters the foundation of what I believe in. My entire football knowledge is shook at this very moment.

RACIAL SLURS over Bills

SANNIE: Once again, I chose the Bills last week and they let me down, even though I vowed not to choose the Redskins, tough times call for tough decisions.

RACIAL SLURS over Bills

Bears at Vikings

SANNIE: The Bears seem to suck, I mean apparently the Vikings suck too but in this case they seem to be the less sucky choice.

VIKINGS over Bears

RENALDO: The only thing holding the Vikings back right now is that big white globe Teddy Bridgewater wears on his right hand. I feel like it’s the reason for the Vikings conservative play calling approach.

VIKINGS over Bears

Panthers at Giants

RENALDO: The easiest way to look unimpressive is to barely beat the Dolphins. That Giants pass defence is still pretty porous and New York is a big stage for Cam to flex on.

PANTHERS over Giants

SANNIE: The Panthers are undefeated. The end.

PANTHERS over Giants

Falcons at Jaguars

RENALDO: I’m not sure if Julio Jones and Roddy White are the best tandem in this game. Best way to describe this unpredictable NFL season in one sentence.

FALCONS over Jags

SANNIE: This one is tough, but I am going to stick with Atlanta. Hopefully, they bring me luck this week, the same way Real Housewives of Atlanta brought me drama this week.

FALCONS over Jags

Packers at Raiders

RENALDO: Another game designed specifically from the John Madden collection. We all want the Packers to be back because the NFL is just better when Aaron Rodgers plays deep into the playoffs. This also means feature stories on Olivia Munn.

PACKERS over Raiders

SANNIE: Not choosing the Raiders, nope, not going to happen. Their days of winning are over!

PACKERS over Raiders

Browns at Seahawks

SANNIE: I am about to give up the Brown name just like I have given up on this team, also Russell Wilson will always be bae. (fake bae)

SEAHAWKS over Browns

RENALDO: Has anyone else noticed that the extreme improvement in Russ Wilson’s productivity coincided with Future’s release of the “Rich Sex” video with Black Chyna. There’s nothing like a decisive video.

SEAHAWKS over Browns

Bengals vs 49ers

SANNIE: This one is just common sense, the Bengals have a better record.

BENGALS over 49ers

RENALDO: I believe in Katherine-Webb McCarron more than I believe in most people. She’s better at her job than most people are at theirs. I assume her job is being hot. My confidence in her directly translates to her husband.

BENGALS over 49ers

Betteher vs. Steelers

SANNIE: Even though the Broncos let the Raiders beat them last week, and caused me to drop in my picks, I’m going to give them another chance this week.

BRONCOS over Steelers

RENALDO: The Brockwilder was not helped by all of the drops the Broncos coughed up. This happened on the few times he actually threw the ball more than four yards down the field. Which means this week we probably get 30 screen passes from the Denver offence. Should be fun.

STEELERS over Broncos

Dolphins vs Chargers

SANNIE: Merry Christmas Renaldo (don’t look for anything else).

DOLPHINS over Chargers

RENALDO: Dan Campbell said this team is playing for pride and pride alone. That’s what it has come to. Pride. It’s a good thing the Chargers have even less pride than we do. Never go against Philip Rivers in a nothing to lose game. It’s perfect for hollow numbers.

CHARGERS over Dolphins

Cardinals vs. Eagles

SANNIE: The Eagles also cost me last week, I am not making these same mistakes twice.

CARDS over Eagles

RENALDO: This is probably the most attention the state of Arizona has received since John McCain ran for President in 2008. Has anyone else realised the Cardinals have played in five primetime games this season? They’re undefeated in those games. Could the NFL be that intelligent to offer their best product when the most fans are watching? I’m proud of you NFL. This is a major step in the right direct - wait, what? The Monday night game is who? Nevermind.

CARDS over Eagles

Lions vs Saints

RENALDO: No matter how bad those Saints are, they always show up in primetime. This suggests Sean Payton loves the bright lights. On second thought, I remember seeing Sean Payton in Aura that offseason he was suspended for Bountygate...I’m positive he loves the bright lights.

SAINTS over Lions

SANNIE: The choice is between bad and worse. So I guess bad it is.

LIONS OVER Saints

THE EXPERTS’ VIEW: HOW THEY ARE FARING

Week 14 Season %

AP 9-7 127-81 .611

Sancheska 11-5 124-84 .596

Renaldo 13-3 121-87 .582

Naughty 9-7 119-89 .572

Ricardo 10-6 116-92 .558