The Tribune

WEEK 12

Eagles at Lions

RENALDO: There are two ways things can play out for the Lions here: You move forward with the interim general manager and he Dan Campbell’s the system and wins two games based solely off energy; or you realise you just hired a guy that knows nothing about football and is simply a friend of the Ford family. Either way, they play Mark Sanchez this week so...there’s that.

LIONS over Eagles

SANNIE:Hmmmm an eagle versus a lion. A lion it is. I mean he is the King of the Jungle.

LIONS over Eagles

Panthers at Cowboys

RENALDO: This has to be the only time in NFL history that an undefeated team this late in the season is an underdog to a 3-7 team. I feel like America couldn’t wait until the Cowboys flashed just a semblance of life to jump on the bandwagon. There’s one major hurdle preventing me from hopping on that bandwagon, a 6’5” MVP candidate quarterback who dabs.

PANTHERS over

Cowboys

SANNIE: Must we do this every week, Cam Newton and a perfect record. This is so easy.

PANTHERS over

Cowboys

Bears at Packers

SANNIE: Seriously, who plays for the Bears? Are people even Bears fans? Let’s go Packers! (mostly because of Clay Matthews)

PACKERS over Bears

RENALDO: All Aaron Rodgers needed one was one guy to make a play...one guy, and the Packers were back to scoring 30 points. The problem is James Jones doesn’t show up every week. Poor Rodgers has to deal with middle America upset at his sex life, and a poo poo platter of receivers dropping passes, botching routes. Don’t feel too bad for him though, he has Olivia Munn.

Packers over Bears

Bills at Chiefs

SANNIE: So the Bills and the Chiefs have the same record. Ok, eenie, meanie, miney mo.

CHIEFS over Bills

RENALDO: We (that was just me) wrote off the Chiefs after the season-ending Jamaal Charles injury but I had no idea how well, Alex Smith, the assistant regional manager of the NFL, would adjust and how aggressive this Chiefs defence would become. Assistant regional manager of the NFL isn’t a real position by the way - Alex Smith just seems like that guy in any corporation - he won’t wow you getting the job done, but he supervises the hell out of a project.

CHIEFS over Bills

Rams at Bengals

RENALDO: It’s rare that a team regains their spot in the upper echelon in the consciousness of the casual NFL fan after a loss, but the Bengals may have done that. After a terrible outing against the Texans, the Bengals offence regained their stride in that loss to the Cards. The Rams on the other side appear well on their way to a classic Jeff Fischer 8-8 season.

BENGALS over Rams

SANNIE: Andy Dalton is cute in a weird, nerdy way. The red hair is kind of appealing, it works for him.

BENGALS over Rams

Saints at Texans

RENALDO: The Texans have the division title within their reach and they play like they know it. What’s amazing is that somehow this team has managed to have its second quarterback controversy of the season. We went from Hoyer to Mallet to Hoyer to Yates. Going to dinner with Bill O’Brien must be hell.

TEXANS over Saints

SANNIE: Beyonce’s birthplace has not been bringing me luck lately. I guess she is the only good thing that came from there, because they can’t play football obviously.

SAINTS over Texans

Buccaneers at Colts

RENALDO: Do we believe in Jameis yet? Do we believe in the Buccaneers defence yet? Sure Kwon Alexander uses PEDs, but so what. Do we think 40-year-old Matt Hasslebeck isn’t?

BUCS over Colts

SANNIE: Colts and Buccaneers have the same record, so Donavan and Cameo bring me luck.

BUCS over Colts

Chargers at Jaguars

SANNIE: Boy, not much teams are doing worse than the Chargers right now, I would have to be crazy to choose them.

JAGUARS over

Chargers

RENALDO: There’s no reason for anyone to have faith in the Chargers anymore. Not just because they look like they’ve given up on the season, not because they’ve been decimated by injuries...but because of Philip Rivers’ mustache. There’s no way you can expect men to follow that grotesque ‘stache into battle. Update: Just learned before publication that Rivers shaved it, so we’ll go with the other reasons. They’re still pretty terrible though.

JAGUARS over

Chargers

Dolphins at Jets

SANNIE: Well since Dolphin fans aren’t even choosing the Dolphins this week, I will take that as a sign, this isn’t personal Renaldo, just business.

JETS over Dolphins

RENALDO: I have no confidence in this game when the Dolphins are good, take into account that they haven’t won a game this season in a place where the weather has dipped below 60 degrees.

JETS over

Dolphins

Vikings at Falcons

RENALDO: The Falcons have been such a disgusting disappointment that I’ve been forced to do the unthinkable - I’ve stopped playing with them on Madden. This is coming from someone that stuck with Matty Ice and Julio Jones even through the 4-11 season. Is Matt Ryan the best awful quarterback there is in the NFL? Maybe that makes him the worst good quarterback. Whatever it is, it’s not good for the Falcons.

FALCONS over Vikings

SANNIE: As much as I love RHOA (and this season has been fire so far), they also have not been bringing me any luck. Time to stop picking from emotion and start using some logic.

VIKINGS over Falcons

Giants at Washington

Racial Slurs

RENALDO: Following last week’s game, Washington defensive lineman Jason Hatcher said he believes referees pick on the Racial Slurs because in some misogynistic, HGH fuelled, “manifest destiny” influenced circles (the NFL), they’re known as the “Redskins.” Still nothing Daniel Snyder? No? Ok. It’s a good thing I like making fun of Kirk Cousins too much to hate this team. The Giants are starting to get healthy at the right two with the return of two starters on the offensive line, along with defensive back Prince Amukamara and tight end Larry Donnell.

GIANTS over Washington

SANNIE: So I standing in solidarity with Renaldo on this one, the term “Redskins” is so derogatory, they need to change it.

GIANTS over Washington

Raiders at Titans

RENALDO: Three consecutive losses for Oakland, Aldon Smith is done for the year, Amari Cooper is hitting the rookie wall and the Raiders are returning to who we thought they were. As long as the Titans aren’t playing in those god awful powder blue uniforms, Jack Del Rio and Co. may be heading to their fourth consecutive loss.

TITANS over Raiders

SANNIE: The Titans seem to be worse than the Raiders. I didn’t think it was actually possible. So Eddie, here I go again, choosing the Raiders.

RAIDERS over Titans

Cardinals at 49ers

RENALDO: The Cardinals are one of the few teams in the league that are actually fun to watch whereas the 49ers are one of few teams in the league willing to gainfully employ Blaine Gabbert. There’s a reason the opening sequence for Madden ‘16 has the Cardinals in the SuperBowl. This team is either headed for greatness...or Illuminati.

CARDS over 49ers

SANNIE: Hey, there is a John Brown on the Cardinals. I wonder if he is my family, you know all Browns related.

CARDS over 49ers

Steelers at Seahawks

RENALDO: Marshawn Lynch’s abdominal injury will keep him sidelined until the end of the year and the emergence of Thomas Rawl may actually make “Beastmode” expendable. I can’t help but think that none of this happens if they gave him the ball at the end of the SuperBowl last year. It changed the fate of the franchise, Lynch, offensive coordinator Darell Bevell, Jimmy Graham, Russell Wilson, the Seahawks offensive line and Ciara. On the opposite side Big Ben continues to insult our intelligence by crediting milk for his quick turnaround from injury. That answer itself has to warrant a suspension.

STEELERS over Seahawks

SANNIE: Let’s go Russell, bring this one home for me and Ciara.

SEAHAWKS over Steelers

Patriots at Broncos

RENALDO: Denver may not miss Peyton, but every company that bought ad space expecting Brady/Manning part 543 sure does. The Pats can’t continue to lose starters the way they’ve been doing, eventually it all has to catch up to them...Brock Osweiler’s just not the guy to make them pay.

PATS over Broncos

SANNIE: Apparently, this is supposed to be a good game. Tom Brady hasn’t let me down yet, so I am going to ride with him.

PATS over Broncos

Ravens at Browns

RENALDO: I hate everything about this game. This is the point in the season where the NFL has a flex schedule, but there are games they should just flat out remove all together. Josh McCown vs. Matt Schaub is one of those games.

BROWNS over Ravens

SANNIE: Sigh, I promised myself I will never choose the Browns because they have let me down so much this time, but not as much as the Ravens.

BROWNS over Ravens