The Tribune

By Dr Ian Bethell-Bennett

Given the inability of women in the Bahamas to receive equal rights despite all the legal international obligations the government has committed itself to, society seems to think it OK to treat women worse than they treat Potcakes.

They can beat women in the streets and not be challenged for it; they can boast about beating women in public and be proud of their masculine prowess; they can boast about how many women they have had children with, how many children they have but do not look after or acknowledge, even when they are married to wonderful, virtuous women who are professionals and earn their own living, but somehow don’t mind sharing their husbands with all manner of public.

This all speaks about inequality and misogyny. As an apparently deeply misogynistic society, we think that it is normal for all women to be treated as less than human. Having a harem while you are married translates to the same thing – you are violently insulting your wife.

We think that women should not earn the same as men, even when they are more qualified.

The recent stink around one woman doing her job and so upsetting the old boys has really shown society for the bigoted, misogynistic, chauvinist space we really are.

Men think it fine to shame a woman who is doing her job well by delving into her private life and dragging out her business, so as to show her for a true human being.

The same men who can sleep with 20 women in any given year, but think it wonderful to be able to sleep with thousands – and no responsibility for any of their actions; that’s the woman’s job – argue that a woman must be wedded to one man for her entire life.

They talk about women’s intimate anatomy as if they know personally what it was like, and have no kind of integrity about being discreet about their own shortcomings. These men think it their right, their duty, though without any honour, to publicly shame women, especially when they are professional women. It is as if they were sickened by these women’s ability to perform in a ‘male’ world. (This is a term that has been used often against women in Parliament, and even more sadly, their female counterparts have allowed the male members of Parliament to use it and to get away with it).

If it is a man’s world, why are the men so intent on trotting out their inability to function alongside competent women? Why are they so scandalised by women doing their jobs well that they must sink to the lowest form of indiscrete shaming to attempt to show them up?

What actually happens, in fact, is that the same men show themselves up for being violent misogynists. Public shaming is a form of violence.

Using one’s power to disenfranchise, humiliate, shame, belittle any other person is what is known as bullying.

When a man or woman uses social media to try to humiliate someone else through publishing information they think should silence their alleged opponents, they are using the lowest form of intimidation. They are often known to be cowards under the disguise of a bully. This, sadly, is not uncommon. We see it all the time in Parliament, when men think they should challenge another man’s position and make him appear less than, they question his sexuality. Again, this is bullying and using assumed masculine privilege to disempower someone who is perceived as weaker. These men have no shame because society does not hold them accountable, or perhaps they are expressing society’s thoughts.

The shaming of a professional woman says more about the man doing the shaming and the others who support his attacks than it does about the woman being bullied.

The fact that a man would use private information to attempt to challenge a woman’s professional integrity shows insecurity and a cruel streak. Yes, it does speak to a national bias against women and a national pastime of shaming women through masculine chauvinistic bullying, and a fascination with focusing on how big I am and how small the you are, because I can use my public presence and power to shame you into silence. That is misogynistic, chauvinistic bullying. Is the country still a democracy? Silence is not an option in a real democracy, even for women who own the right to vote, no matter what any man may feel.

We go back to that horrible old saying that women speak when hens piss, otherwise they must hold their tongues in a world that discredits and abuses them. Why do we wish to live like this in the 21st century? Has not the world shown us that there are alternatives to hatred, bigotry and violence?

As we profess our Christianity, is it not a good time to leave bullying and violence behind us? Ironically, the Christian community often supports the shaming of women who they see as less than virtuous, but the men who have been the instigators are heralded as leaders in the community. Why the double standard? Why the violence in an establishment that claims to promote peace, love and the gospel?

Our society has lived too long in the violence of bullying and inequality. Let us start to set a decent example for the children we claim to love and want to bring up ‘the right way’ and stop shaming women who do their jobs because some one feels threatened by their ability and their fearlessness. Our society may be one built around fear, power imbalances and gender-based discrimination, but women are obviously capable of transcending that.

If you want to remain a bigoted chauvinist, can you leave that to the privacy of your home and let the country rise to the higher road?