The Tribune

By BIANCA CARTER

Parenting is the hardest job on earth. And not just because it requires your full attention at all times, but because it’s the only job that no matter how challenging it gets, you can never quit!

Most of us feel like we are failing in some ways with this whole parenting thing, which is probably quite normal given that there are no guarantees and you always have to adjust and tweak it.

There’s no 100 per cent satisfaction, money back guarantee to succeed book that you can buy that will give you a step-by-step guide to acing parenting.

And, may I remind you that some parents do almost everything “right” and still end up with challenging kids. Parenting is like starting a new business venture; you can read all the books, do tonnes of research for years, take classes, talk to “experts”, and still I can promise you things won’t go as planned.

And just like new businesses, you fail all around in many ways, but you have to keep getting up and keep moving forward in the best way you know how.

Every parent has their method of parenting that works for them and their kids. You don’t have to follow all the parenting rules you discover, you just have to find what works for you. Over the years, I’ve picked up a few parenting tips that I live by:

Be consistent

This one is so hard. I’m not ashamed to say that I struggle with this one a lot. You make the rules and three weeks later you’ve gotten slack with them. Two things this teaches your child – you’re not serious, and with persistence, they can wear you down.

Let the punishment fit the crime

Sometimes children will disobey you in small ways, and sometimes in really big ways. If your child sneaks an extra cookie from the cookie jar it doesn’t necessarily warrant grounding that child for two weeks. Take the appropriate action.

Confessions shouldn’t be punished

Do you have a remorseful child like I do? I know that if my child does something that he shouldn’t I will hear about it in the very near future. He can’t keep secrets, especially if he knows it’s something he shouldn’t have done.

As frustrated as I am that he did something knowing that he shouldn’t have, I can’t fly off the handle if he confesses. He’s admitting it, so it should be discussed in a manner that will empower the child to make a better decision next time. I would rather my child feel comfortable enough to tell me so that we can correct the behaviour together, rather than him stopping with the confessions and doing it anyway. Parenting is all about picking and choosing your battles.

Communicate to your child in the way that they understand

Every time you punish your child you should have a few minutes after the punishment to discuss what happened. You should make sure that they understand clearly why they were punished. Sometimes kids really don’t understand what they did wrong.

Praise them

If your kid does something respectful, kind, or makes positive changes and improvements in their life, praise them for it. Kids like to know that their parents are proud of them.

Say, “I love you” a lot

I don’t need to tell you why you should practice this in your daily parenting routine, do I?

Love and hugs!