The Tribune

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By Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya

Poll dancing

As Bahamians prepare to head to the polls, all of the major parties are now pulling out all the stops to win come May 10.

So far, this election season has been marred by name calling, dirt flinging (I’m talking to you, Bradley Roberts) and, as of Wednesday, an actual fist fight.

The colossal failure of outgoing Parliamentary Registrar Sherlyn Hall to ensure an orderly execution of our democratic right as Bahamians may have played a big role in why all the world can now watch a Youtube video of PLPs and FNMs beating each other ‘upside the head’ in broad daylight while waiting hours on end to vote.

The advance poll did not start when it should have because the ballot boxes were not there when they should have been.

Bahamian time, or ‘slunking,’ is pervasive even in these serious times.

I’m not going to dwell on Mr Hall’s incompetence; the only word I have for him is ‘Bye!’

To act as if what happened on Wednesday is surprising would be to close our eyes (and minds) to the myriad failures we have had to endure over the past five years.

Just this past week, we ‘got our tings’ in the international media for the fiasco called Fyre Festival. Then there was the flop in Freeport called Junkanoo Carnival. So why not throw in some kicks, slaps and punches?

This is all ‘normal’ in a very long line of failures under the sleepy eyes of Prime Minister Perry Christie, who bears the ultimate responsibility. As the leader of the country, the buck stops with him.

At times I’ve been inclined to give Mr Christie a break because I’ve always thought he was a gifted speaker but by no means a gifted leader.

Honestly, he’s not even a mediocre leader. On a scale of one to 10, his talent for transparent leadership is less than zero. Which is why he will not accept responsibility for this latest disaster. Neither will his minister responsible for elections, Dr Bernard Nottage.

Mr Christie oversees a runaway Cabinet, many of whom have been accused by the masses of ‘lying, tiefin’ and begging’. All while he does nothing to hold any of them (much less himself) accountable.

Oh, but boy can he dance!

He and Nero would make quite the pair.

Papa’s Got a

Brand New Bag

The highlight of this election season for me has been seeing former Prime Minister Hubert Ingraham’s emergence on the campaign trail.

Over the last few days Mr Ingraham has captured the attention of Bahamians near and far, many of whom may feel nostalgic for a politician who ‘says what he means, and means what he says’.

Judging by his response to Ingraham’s return to the limelight, Perry Christie is mad. And DNA leader Branville McCartney is mad.

No doubt they are ‘salty’ because of Mr Ingraham’s ability to ‘woo’ and persuade a large section of the populace still. I even heard a desperate PLP apologist say the Free National Movement bringing Mr Ingraham back is some sort of ‘witchcraft’ (the jokes never end with this crew.)

In Mr Ingraham’s return to frontline politics (for the moment) I see something else. I see the value of having a former Prime Minister weigh in on national issues and tell us the truth.

Who knew hundreds of thousands allegedly went ‘missing’ at the Ministry of Finance before Mr Ingraham mentioned it?

Who knew the state of the Treasury?

And of those who knew, how many are honest and brave enough to blow the whistle?

We never got to see the ‘statesman’ side of the late Sir Lynden Pindling since he passed so soon after retiring. But I am happy we get to see this side of ‘Papa’.

Truth be told, I’m especially glad since he seems to have all the ‘receipts’ on the likes of several candidates including Khaalis Rolle, Dion Smith, Keith Bell, Jerome Fitzgerald and Allyson Maynard-Gibson.

I don’t know about you, but I already have my popcorn ready for his big speech in Freeport tonight.

• Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya is the resident stand-up comic at Jokers Wild Comedy Club at the Atlantis, Paradise Island, resort and presents ‘Mischief and Mayhem in da AM’ from 6am to 10am, Monday to Friday, and ‘The Press Box’ sports talk show on Sunday from 10am to 1pm on KISS FM 96.1. He also writes a sports column in The Tribune on Tuesday. Comments and questions to naughty@tribunemedia.net.