July 24, 2015
Stories this photo appears in:
Where do I start this week? It’s been a veritable smorgasbord of material, courtesy of the present administration.
Okay, okay, okay, I’m glad so many of you enjoyed last week’s column.
A COMIC'S VIEW: The three stories from my life that make me laugh every time I think about my younger days
It’s amazing what stories end up being told, or resurrected, when real stand up comedians are at the bar trading ‘life stories’ downing shots of their favourite libation in abundance. Here are three stories from my life, that make me laugh every time I reminisce about my younger days. I’m quite sure, they will give all of you a chuckle.
T’was the night before Christmas when all through the House,
In the spirit of fair play a certain subject must be addressed.
Okay, I’ll be the first to admit that I probably watch way too much so-called “Reality” television. I have no good excuse for this except to submit to the court that such programming is practically unavoidable.
IS THIS the week that it finally dawns on the Free National Movement that the honeymoon is over?
As I exited one of my favourite haunts, KFC Saunders Beach, I bumped into a young man who is a fan of this column and my #COLDEST videos.
A funny thing happened on the way to calming my sons down after an afternoon playing baseball. They said they were hungry, and being the (guilty) fast food parent I am when I’m pressed for time, I immediately bribed him with a trip to the nearest Dr
THE question of, and the subsequent debates, regarding legalising marijuana in The Bahamas continues to burn (no pun intended.)
This comes a bit late but I guess now is as good a time as any to congratulate the Progressive Liberal Party (PLP) on winning the 2017 Bahamas General Election. Didn’t you hear? Apparently the Free National Movement (FNM) is moving to rent the Town
We as a people love to laugh, sometimes a good laugh is needed for us to take a step back examine the situation at hand without taking ourselves too seriously. (Attention Bahamian politicians from all parties)
OUR Prime Minister Dr Hubert Minnis craftily, and without providing details, on the actual cost of his recent trip to the United Nations’ 73rd General Assembly, did manage to get some awesome “selfies”. Minnis did, however, table in Parliament a lis
EVERY neighbourhood, food Store and mall parking lot has them. Fish Fry and Potters Cay Dock may be the factories from whence they came.
TABLED amendments to the Road Traffic Act, hopefully will make it a safer commute for Bahamian motorists.
THE Minnis administration apparently is still in “good faith” talks with Oban Energies, over a proposed oil refinery in Grand Bahama.
THROUGHOUT my lengthy comedy career, I’ve learnt one thing, a good joke and laugh catches every Bahamian’s attention.
IT was just January of this year that works Minister Desmond Bannister suggested that Bahamas Power and Light (BPL) was on pace to deliver to the public its best summer on record.
Every weekday morning at 4.20am my day starts. I’m on the road by 5am and on air by 6am. Thankfully, I am spared the torture of morning traffic. I do, however, live vicariously through my throng of loyal listeners. Quite frankly some of their sto
I must admit this is going to be a quick read this week.
AS much as I would like to address several issues affecting Bahamians this week, I’m forced to go with one, BPL, again!!
My late Aunt Kay, who was like my second mother and who also happened to be wheelchair bound in the latter portion of her life, was a source of inspiration and a pillar of strength to me throughout my life. In fact it has long been said that she’s where I get my “hard mouth” from.
A few weeks ago, I found myself at a barbecue at a friend’s house, enjoying a leisurely Sunday afternoon.
This week talks of the legalisation of marijuana wafted in the air. And while most Bahamians had an opinion on the controversial topic, our PM seemed to be doing his best “Apollo Ono” impersonation, skating around the subject. WHAT’S UP, DOC? Upon
This week was an eventful one, so there’s no shortage of material to choose from, in fact some of it wrote itself.
WITH the dreaded VAT increase days away, Travis is on cleanup duty, Halston speaks in tongues, Sebas for PM, and Hubully is born. The Clean Up Man I think most would agree that it was a brave move for Bain and Grants MP Travis Robinson to vote ag
WATCHING this week’s budget debate in the House was like watching the Atlanta Falcons squander a 21-3 halftime lead over the New England Patriots - embarrassing.
DESPITE the naysayers, and detractors, the march against VAT was well attended all things considered.
The year 2018 is turning out to be quite an eye opening experience for Bahamian voters who overwhelmingly brought the current Minnis administration to power in 2017. It’s a time to witness the same leaders in Prime Minister Dr Hubert Minnis and Depu
When the Free National Movement (FNM) came to power, there were great expectations of this government. On the campaign trail, Minnis and Co railed against corruption, and promised to be a government of transparency. “It’s the People’s Time” had a n
SUMMER is here, so every nook and cranny is crawling with a summer infestation of terror and destruction that would rival any of those plagues found in The Good Book. You guessed it, teenagers! Ah, yes, I remember the free-for-all, happy go lucky d
In the spirit of fair play a certain subject must be addressed.In past columns, I gave some insight to my younger Bahamian brethren as to what women really mean when they say certain things. If I do say so myself, it turned out to be right on the money, despite the raised eyebrows I received from my female co-workers and threats from my sisters-in-law to be shared out of Christmas dinner in two households.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY FNM
LAST week, the ironies of the FNM administration took centre stage. This week, their “hypocrisy” is back for a cameo appearance. THE “SPY BILL” After branding it as a “Spy Bill” during the election campaign, and using it as a major talking point,
irony noun the expression of one’s meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect. “‘Don’t go overboard with the gratitude,’ he rejoined with heavy irony.”
THIS week, The Tribune published an article detailing how the current Minnis administration’s popularity was waning in support.According to the article, based on a survey conducted by the polling company Public Domain, fewer than 50 percent of Bahami
PRIME Minister Dr Hubert Minnis has remained eerily silent, regarding his failure to appoint a Chief Justice. Despite public criticism, from the citizenry and even members of his own Cabinet, Minnis has failed to install an official Chief Justice, i
THIS week, Prime Minister Dr. Hubert Minnis finally (sort of) addressed his government’s “missteps” with respect to the Oban deal, and our Deputy PM, K Peter Turnquest assured Bahamians the country would be off the European Union’s blacklist by May “at the latest.”
After twenty years as a professional stand up comedian, it’s safe to say, I know what is, and isn’t funny.
This week, we watched as our “newish” government continued to duck and dodge questions surrounding their proposed dubious deal with Oban, and learned that the last Progressive Liberal Party (PLP) government was exactly who we thought they were.
This week, our government debated two bills - the Financial Reporting Bill and Proceeds of Crime Bill - that, taken together, should go some distance to stamping out official corruption in the country. But without a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA), can they actually make a difference?
Once again - to paraphrase the Red Queen from Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass - it takes all the running Bahamians can do to keep in the same place.
After a “vote of no confidence” that the governing Free National Movement government shrewdly turned into an amended “vote of confidence”, the status quo remains in the House of Assembly.
WHAT can we say about what happened in the House of Assembly this week that hasn’t already been said about conch slop? It stinks to high Heaven.
WHILE appearing as a guest on the talk show “Political Review” with host Quincy Parker, last Sunday on Guardian Radio, Attorney General Carl Bethel said he will not support the legalisation or decriminalisation of marijuana in The Bahamas.
Finally the topic of legalising Marijuana has been sparked (no pun intended) in The Bahamas.
It’s a brand new year, a clean slate so to speak.
THE JOHNSONS - Ah, our ‘Climate Change Refugees’ the Johnsons.
There’s nothing more “political” than office parties, especially office Christmas parties. So to ensure all you office party goers remain “politically correct” and don’t end up either in court, incarcerated, hospitalised or all of the above, here’s
By far the most talked about story this week was that of the “missing” young man named Jean Rony Jean-Charles.
In 2014 Dr. Minnis stated - “As long as I am leader of this country, the FNM would not support any pay increase with all the pain and suffering that is going on in this country.”
THIS week was quite interesting. Prime Minister Dr Hubert Minnis (in rare form) took on the media, many focused their attention (and ire) on a new bill, while the Christian Council cried foul on an amendment to the Nationality Act we’ve been debating for a generation.
Once again, this was a busy week of tackling issues in the country.
In 2014, the former PLP administration established the parliamentary select committee to determine salary increases for MPs. Needless to say, “nobody was on dey run”. The mid-term timimg for this proposal (as that former administration’s popularity
PRIME Minister Dr Hubert Minnis knocked the Progressive Liberal Party for its “chaotic” national convention, saying if the opposition party could not properly pull off an internal event, it cannot lead the country.
First, Do No Harm There has been much controversy the past few days following the revelation that the Minister of Health, Dr. Duane Sands, is still performing surgeries for patients at the Rand Memorial and Princess Margaret Hospitals. First, let m
WHEN Bamboo Town MP and Minister of Agriculture and Marine Resources, Renward Wells announced in Parliament:
THIS past week saw Minister for Transport and Local Government Frankie Campbell quash all allegations that he has dual citizenship during an address in the House of Assembly. Mr. Campbell also reiterated that he has never pledged allegiance to any c
ON Sunday, while intransit to the US, Dominica’s Prime Minister Roosevelt Skerrit, paid a visit to PM Dr Hubert Minnis here in Nassau. After the meeting, and hearing first hand of Dominica’s obliterated infrastructure, and despite not having an offi
What a week of revelations this has been.
Recently, PLP Senator and former Fox Hill MP Fred Mitchell has come under harsh criticism, in the dailies, the talk show circuit and of course social media. FIESTY FRED - It's seems lately Mr.Mitchell is on thin ice socially. Mainly for his post e
OVER the past few days, we (barely) avoided another downgrade by the ratings agency Moody’s (though they did rate our outlook as ‘negative’). That’s good news.
In the spirit of fair play a certain subject must be addressed. Previously in this column, I gave some insight to my younger Bahamian brethren as to what women really mean when they say certain things. If I do say so myself, as I recall, it turned
When Bahamas Power & Light CEO Pamela Hill defended the company’s $1.1m performance bonus under the former Christie administration, I couldn’t control the hysterical fit of laughter, her comments put me under.
If Bahamians really want to understand what’s happening in our country, The Tribune’s Business Section is where the action is at. So I noticed, with great interest, an article in yesterday’s Tribune outlining how the Ministry of Tourism and the gover
Bahamas Power and Light (BPL) chairperson Darnell Osborne has pleaded for “patience” from consumers while the new BPL Board, will work on a “loose timeline” of a “few months” to spark (no pun intended) long-needed improvements within the company. Os
So during his address to the nation this week, Prime Minister Minnis dropped a fiscal bomb; government ministries will have to cut their spending by 10% and no current contracts for workers making in excess of $100,000 will be renewed.
AFTER officially discontinuing the National Intelligence Agency in June, National Security Minister Marvin Dames said Tuesday a “modified” version of the controversial agency could be implemented in short order. Seriously? Dames revealed during an a
“Dorsett-Gate” has broken!!
AS we approach our 44th Independence celebrations, I truly hope we gain ‘independence’ as a nation from certain types of foreign investors, investors with only their personal gain in mind, with little or no concern for Bahamians. Take for example th
The more things change, the more they remain the same. Let’s begin. Minnis and the Media The fourth estate, as the press is known in most democratic nations, is often seen as a thorn in the side of democratic leaders. Irish philosopher and pol
My what a difference a week makes! Last week , I took one final comical glance at my favourite political muse, and the comedy of errors, that's was his political career. Of course I'm referring to former MICAL MP V. Alfred Gray, and in this instanc
By Inigo 'Naughty' Zenicazelaya ANOTHER week down under the new government, and yes, my eyes are still surveying the political landscape quite attentively. Slowly but surely you can see the wheels of the new administration beginning to turn, as t
Now that the new Free National Movement government has had a chance to brief the country on our financial state of affairs, I get the feeling that as bad as the dump fires have been these past few years our real Mount Vesuvius is the way the country’s money has been managed these past few years.
According to the newly elected Free National movement (FNM) government, ‘It’s The People’s Time!’ Now that we have settled into ‘The People’s Time’, based on commentaries I’ve heard and read online I’m convinced the coming term will be either an era
It’s now nine days post-election and the nation is settling in with both eyes on the new government and with eager anticipation of better days to come.
There is an old Bahamian saying “Cut skin ain’t got no owner”.
As Bahamians prepare to head to the polls, all of the major parties are now pulling out all the stops to win come May 10.
Instead of ripping off Loretta Butler-Turner’s ‘Forward Together’ campaign slogan (which she ripped from Hillary Clinton), the Progressive Liberal Party (PLP) should change it to one that is more fitting these days: Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil.
Once again our political landscape mirrors today’s hottest reality tv and epic soap operas of days gone by.
After two years and two months, our Prime Minister has finally delivered a thorough accounting in response to the question of the decade, ‘Where da VAT money gone?’ Well, sort of. Okay, not really.
TO date, Bahamians still do not know when our next general election will be held.
UNLESS something really dramatic happens between now and then, I can confidently say the United States’ presidential election will be held on November 3 in the year 2037. That’s more than 20 years away.
With all the political manure flying about, as ‘silly season’ has begun, I must admit as a professional comedian there is a ton of material to work with on a daily basis.
By now, you’ve probably heard much about how Prime Minister Perry Christie shocked Bahamians near and far by waving the old “one finger salute” at a campaign rally on Monday night. Was I surprised that the prime minister used an obscenity to get a point across? No. Was he surprised that his “cursing mad” stunt didn’t work so well this time around? It sure seems that way.
Another week, another weak performance by politicians who should know better. Let’s begin.
The ‘Green Room’ in any comedy club can be extremely brutal, with comedians trading jabs and barbs.
Another week, another round of crazy thanks to politicians and (surprisingly) professors alike. To be blunt, quite a few people with high profile platforms were “talking fool” over the past few days.
BACK in the nineties, former Prime Minister Hubert Ingraham gave us one of those great, immortal Bahamian political quotes: “I say what I mean, and I mean what I say!”
JUST when I thought our local political landscape couldn’t get any better, I mean it’s filled with alleged conspiracy, countless episodes of idiocy, unnecessary pomp and circumstance, VAT, crime, ‘numbers’ and ‘looms’ and the list.... (insert your issue here) goes on and on.
Today’s column was supposed to take a totally different tone this week.
This week, between the Majority Rule Day marchers and the We March marchers, there sure was a whole lot of marching going on. But while one group celebrated the past, the other focused their eyes squarely on the future.
We’re barely a week into the New Year and already I’m shaking my head at the actions of some Bahamians. But have no fear, fellow countrymen, because according to social media, blessings ‘loom’.
Glad to know so many of you enjoyed last week’s column; in all honesty this week, like most Bahamians, I’m still fighting the Christmas hangover.
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the House,
For the past two years or so, the Drake rejuvenated expression “what a time to be alive” has been the go-to expression on social media.
As much as I would like to address several issues affecting Bahamians this week, I’m forced to go with one, BPL, and obviously I must do it rather quickly as there’s no telling when they will strike again.
As I shopped in a Super Value foodstore yesterday (the same one that was recently robbed at gunpoint), a young Bahamian woman asked me about today’s ‘Black Friday March’.
Hey there, friend. Have you ever wanted to see a politician turn into a pretzel?
A few months back, I wrote that Minister of Agriculture V Alfred Gray was undoubtedly the Christie administration’s least credible minister.
So, has enough time passed for us to officially label Bahamas Power and Light as lousy?
Almost a week after the ravages of Hurricane Matthew, the Bahamas is still limping through recovery.
Over the years, I’ve seen some dumb ideas and I’ve seen some ‘PLP’ ideas.
As I pen this week’s column, I’m trying my best to keep a straight face considering the reality show, or in some cases the WWE-like antics of our politicos over the past week.
In politics, life can turn on a dime.
AFTER another week of glaring headlines, I’m beginning to think an opposition coalition would be a very bad idea.
Now that we have had a chance to digest a second helping of Prime Minister Christie’s explanation on why the Baha Mar deal has been sealed, I have to say I don’t like it one bit.
To the average Bahamian who follows major events in the country, this was a confusing week.
This week, as a controversial song by a Bahamian artist named ‘Mice’ rose to the level of national attention, I found myself thinking on the Voltairean principle: ‘I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it.’
I’ve got to keep it short and sweet this week. The NFL season is upon us, and in all honesty I can’t let these ‘jokey’ leaders of ours distract me from beloved Dallas Cowboys this week.
Last week, the Free National Movement (FNM) hosted one of the most uninspired and downright laughable conventions in recent memory. After months of internal squabbling and threats to run - letter in hand - to the Governor-General, the only thing that came out of the convention was a few insane sound bites. Shall we begin?
So, the Free National Movement began their convention week on Wednesday.
TO BORROW a popular colloquialism, the world of politics is ‘on fleek’ this week.
In life, something can be both the right thing to do and a bad idea at the same time.
Of all the classics I’ve read over the years, the opening of Charles Dickens’ ‘A Tale of Two Cities’ still ranks as one of the best.
THE word of the week, my friend, appears to be ‘payback’: Prime Minister Christie lamented on it, Bran McCartney endorsed it and ‘Butler and Sands’ prepared for it.
I’ve been keeping a close eye on politics in this country for a good 20 years.
Okay ... time out everybody! Yes, I know there are still some hurt feelings post-referendum, and as a comedian I can’t deny enjoying the verbal jousts breaking out all over social media between Vote Yes and Vote No supporters.
There’s an old Bahamian saying that goes “He talking out two mouths”.
BACK in his day, former Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau said “the essential ingredient of politics is timing”.
What I find most comical politically these days is the positioning that comes with the territory.
Wow! What a week it was. I must say there were many ‘things’ that caught my eye in the headlines this week. Some happenings left me shaking my head in disgust, others made me laugh my butt off.
My high school English teacher at St Andrew’s Gordon Mills (awesome teacher and even better person) had a sign on his desk “Garbage in, garbage out.”
THEY say time heals all wounds. I guess when billions of dollars and thousands of jobs are on the line those wounds heal faster than others.
My, what a week it has been. Filled with some of my favourite forms of comedy - innuendo and irony.
After watching the whole ‘Bahamian Hustle’ scandal play out day-by-day, like some of my favourite daytime soaps and big screen movies with more skeletons ‘moon walking’ out of closets on all sides of the political divide, one name seems to be at the centre of all this madness.
What an interesting week it has been. Politicians deflected and a major problem remained neglected.
The expression ‘the truth is stranger than fiction’ never held much water to me. Albeit, I have been accused of having an “overactive imagination” so maybe that’s why what shocks others usually just amuses me.
Okay, I’m entering the Gender Equality fray. Eventually I knew I was going to have to navigate this minefield of ‘political correctness’ to get my two cents in. So here we go.
After Wednesday’s showdown in the House of Assembly, I half entertained the idea of just submitting an official transcript of what took place in those so-called ‘hallowed halls’ in place of this week’s column.
SADLY, the lyrics penned by Phil Collins in that classic hit song “Land of Confusion” are so poignant and so eerily descriptive of our present situation both politically and nationally.
As a young boy growing up in Nassau, I once saw a fight between police officers and a very intoxicated street corner philosopher whose fondness for foreign poultry earned him the nickname ‘American Chicken’.
Despite the cold weather earlier in the week, the air was unbearably hot in certain political arenas.
This past week, the Consultant Physicians Staff Association (CPSA) stated for the record that it would not sign on to the government’s National Health Insurance (NHI) plans because they felt marginalised by the process.
After listening to my good friend Steve McKinney on his most objective, thorough and well-researched talk show ‘Hard Copy’ my mouth was agape.
AFTER a short, sweet and hot holiday season, I found myself sitting in front of my laptop wondering what I would write about this week.
When I read the comments regarding flogging and foreign nationals from Mr Wayne Munroe, QC, I could only cringe and pinch myself to ensure this was reality and not a dream – or in this case a nightmare.
THIS week, half the Cabinet was globetrotting and we saw the battle over the proposed National Health Insurance (NHI) scheme continue to play out as a war of words between the government, the Bahamas Insurance Association (BIA), Sanigest and various factions, producing dramatic headlines.
This past week, a new Bahamian political party emerged on the scene and an old controversy in politics made its way into the spotlight.
This week, National Health Insurance (NHI) and crime continued to dominate the headlines while another horrific act of terrorism thousands of miles away had all the right Bahamians arguing for all the wrong reasons.
THIS week, when news spread that the country’s murder record had been tragically broken, I glimpsed my teary-eyed, 80-year-old aunt (rosary in hand) praying. Trying to offer comfort, I asked her if she was okay. Her response? “No, I’m not okay because I never imagined this is what The Bahamas would come to.”
This week has been one of defections, reflections and deflections. Members of Parliament switched teams, two leaders went head to head in the proverbial “political game of chess,” and somehow another “party” cost us hundreds of thousands of dollars.
There were a few interesting developments on the horizon this past week. Let’s begin.
WHAT a topsy-turvy week it has been, with mud-slinging of all varieties from both sides of the political divide.
I have to say, I was having a fairly decent week right up until I read yesterday’s Tribune headline.
What a week it has been.
As I write this, I am listening to Prime Minister Christie, Police Commissioner Greenslade and NEMA Director Captain Russell reassure the public that the government of The Bahamas is prepared for Hurricane Joaquin and are confident they will be able to maintain communication with the Family Islands throughout the duration of the storm.
THIS week we found out that a curfew is the answer to our all of our prayers.
THIS week, we learned that our Minister of National Security is passing out blame like candy and leadership ambitions brings out the bad here, there and everywhere.
LET’S be honest, when it comes to the leadership of the Progressive Liberal Party (PLP), it is obvious that Prime Minister Christie intends to hang on to his current post as long as is humanly possible.
THE American essayist Charles Dudley Warner once said “Politics makes strange bedfellows” and, based on events this past week, we can thank our politically promiscuous lawmakers for truly bringing this quote to life.
As we get started this week, I’m glad to see that such a broad cross section of Bahamians read and enjoy this column and (judging by the side eye I get from them in Pizza Hut’s checkout line) certain politicians not so much.
I must admit as I looked back at all that transpired politically and socially this past week I had a “deja-vu” experience.
ANOTHER week, and sadly, another “weak” display by some of our elected officials. Shall we get started?
It’s safe to say Baha Mar is everywhere. Not only can you see the paused paradise from multiple vantage points throughout New Providence, everybody has an opinion on how this bad “soap opera” is playing out.
Throughout my lengthy comedy career in The Bahamas and abroad, I’ve learned one thing – a good joke and laugh catches everyone’s attention, especially politicians.