The Tribune

By AYANNA CLARKE

As we end this Summer series, I can report that I've gotten so much feedback from women, about the type of female friends and family members in their lives I've described, and also about the type of woman they are themselves.

Proverbs 31 describes the perfect woman. She is wise, dependable, loyal, well thought of and quite remarkable. In my seminars I often tell women, this woman could not be who she is without having some of the same qualities that we have discussed:

• She had to be frank - able to speak the truth in a way that teaches, is healing in her honest and sincere matter-of-fact revelations

• She had to practice stubborn love - relentless in her compassion and devotion, loyal and dedicated to those she chose to be in her circle

• She had to embrace being positive - using every obstacle as an opportunity; and turning problems into possibilities

This week, our focus is on an Inquisitive Indira as opposed to a Gossipy Gabrielle.

Inquisitive Indira can sometimes come off as nosy, seeming to always want to know or be in your business. She's always asking questions and trying to find things out. Don't be fooled, Gossipy Gabby is the same way. There's always a question on her lips. Even if she doesn't come right out and ask, she is always (in the Bahamian vernacular) "trying to pick your mouth." The difference between these two personalities is the intent or motivation behind gaining information about you and their use of it after it is attained.

Inquisitive Indiras want to know about you because the knowledge makes the bond they have with you stronger. They are genuine in their quest to learn about you because their desire is to make you happy. Gossipy Gabrielle desires your personal material as well, but her intent is different. She either wants to share it clandestinely, or use her knowledge in a sinister way. There is nothing positive about Gossipy Gabby.

Because she is always asking questions, Inquisitive Indira may not fit in very well. She can become annoying to those less tolerant, and really come off as slow or "green." But really, she is more evolved than many. You see, Inquisitive Indira understands the true value of being a great friend. She is progressive enough to understand that she doesn't know everything about you - likes, dislikes, hopes, desires, et cetera. Because her goal is friendship and lasting connection, she's not afraid to ask almost anything.

No matter how we perceive her, she is confident enough to admit she lacks knowledge in a particular area, and compassionate enough to seek it out so that she can be of help to you, rather than a hindrance.

I have known quite a few Inquisitive Indiras in my lifetime. In previous times my personality did not mesh too well with this personality, and the constant questioning made me uncomfortable, so I would push away any type of inquisition. Then I grew to understand the questioning nature of this personality, but in my immaturity I confused it with Gossipy Gabrielle. This led to the painful memories of being gossiped about, unfairly judged or mistreated on many levels.

(I'll pause here to mention that Inquisitive Indira or Gossipy Gabrielle can come in any form - a work colleague, a fellow choir member, a church leader, a sister - any form).

One thing to remember is that there is a safety in knowing and trusting an Inquisitive Indira. Yes, she will get in your business. But she is a trustworthy friend and a confidante; a sentinel of secrets. She will learn everything there is to know about you, but never use it against you.

Do you know anyone just like that? God bless you this week!