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A Comic's View: My Five Tips For Bubba

By INIGO 'NAUGHTY' ZENICAZELAYA

It’s always great to catch up with my godson, ‘Bubba’ (that’s the nickname I gave him, the first day his parents brought him home from the hospital.)

‘Bubba’ is all grown up now, 21 on his next birthday, already graduated from college with his degree in business.

I can’t lie, I’m proud of him, and I expect continued excellence! (He reads this column regularity.)

However, in catching up, I was amused to hear some of the stories from the ‘millennials’ social scene.

Dating isn’t what it used to be, nor are the rules apparently.

Through my bouts of laughter, while having a few cold ones and reminiscing about days gone by with ‘Bubba’s’ dad, one of my closest friends on the planet, I could see, my godson was seeking expert advice from the veterans in the room.

That’s what being a good, godfather is all about.

So without hesitation, I offered him some advice, hoping it would put things into perspective a bit, and level the playing field.

COMPLETE OPPOSITES

Men and women have different points of view on many life aspects and it may seem as though they are from two separate worlds.

(I had to introduce him to that old saying saying “men are from Mars and women are from Venus”. Knowing is half the battle.)

Most women get confused when they see men do things differently.

The fact is, men are different from women ranging from the way they view problems, relationships and food.

Men are not as extremely complex, as women are.

Men are much simpler in their views as well as their approach to daily activities. (This is why you need to think twice the next time you are angry at your man or woman because of differing opinions.)

Here are a five funny examples, of the differences between men and women.

1 Wardrobe

Even though her wardrobe is full of stylish and fashionable clothes and shoes, a woman will still be confused and indecisive, about what to put on.

She still can’t get enough of what to wear in the morning.

A man, on the contrary, is fine with a pair of underwear, a pair of jeans, tee shirt hoodie and new sneakers, for the entire week!!

2 Colours

Women are better at differentiating colours than men.

While women can easily discern through specific colors and differentiate them, men are only able to see the general colors without really seeing any difference.

This may be due to a difference in the way color information is processed.

3 Social Media

A man will have none or only one notification (if any) after being offline for the week.

Meanwhile, a woman’s inbox will be full of messages and close to a hundred friend requests within the same number of days.

A woman’s profile will always have notifications and activity.

4 Going Out

When going out, probably for dinner, the woman will always inform on what time to leave. However, usually, and sadly, in most cases the time for leaving will find her still preparing and not even close to bring ready.

The man during this time is doing some other task (drinking) but gets ready ten minutes before departure time.

5 Breakups

During the initial days of a breakup, men are not affected as women are. However, men will feel the loss deeply as time passes while women ‘ain’t chrckin’ for it.’

Women will have moved on and come out of the breakup feeling stronger emotionally after a month while men will be feeling more depressed, and more and more ‘stalkerish’ in some severe cases.

Bonus - Going to the Restroom

Men are less patient when it comes to waiting to get in the stall.

Men look for alternatives (trees, bushes, cars, dumpsters etc) to answering their calls.

Women will queue on that toilet door waiting for the next person to finish first before they get in.

Women are more civilized in this particular category.

In closing, remember men, like I reminded my godson.

Women are more imaginative than men, and, therefore, perceive things in a totally different way.

I’m sure some women who read this will not find this week’s column funny, in any way shape or form, but then again in most cases, the truth hurts. So I understand ladies!!

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