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A Comic's View: Stupid Is As Stupid Does In The Bahamas

By INIGO 'NAUGHTY' ZENICAZELAYA

FROM the travelling quarantined, to the new MOH, to the leader of the opposition’s special request, to local “lockdown” rates and a no nonsense judge, it turned out to be quite the week uptown off the farm.

Let’s have a closer look:

D AVERAGE ALIVE AND WELL

We as a nation, can blame the Competent Authority for many failings and shortcomings. Especially his recent decisions in regards to the COViD-19 global pandemic protocols.

Truthfully though (despite it being the norm these days) we can’t blame the PM for everything, as easy as it seems.

We as a populace can take issue with the PM’s single-minded, impulsive decision making, and his love for calling last-minute lockdowns during this whole, God-awful pandemic.

We cannot, however, blame the PM for the selfishness and stupidity displayed by some citizens.

Forrest Gump had a great line, “stupid is, as stupid does”. That famous line has sadly come to life in The Bahamas recently. Certain members of society who have tested positive for COVID-19, (who I’m convinced were denied oxygen in the womb) have thrown medical advice and caution to the wind, and decided to go out and about, meeting and greeting and socialising.

As a result, we now have more cases recorded, including one incident where a mother and daughter spread the virus to ten others. These are the selfish, inconsiderate actions of two non-disciplined citizens, who obviously have no conscience.

Again, people, if you must go out, masks, gloves, sanitisers and proper hygiene is still the order of the day.

Continue to social distance, at least six feet apart, avoiding the elderly and those who appear to be sick at all costs.

If you feel you may have the symptoms of COVID-19, contact your physician or community clinic immediately.

Remain home, until further instructed by a medical professional.

Selfish actions and ill advised decisions, by a minority, could prove fatal for the majority.

Let your conscience be your guide, and let common sense intervene where and when necessary.

NEW MOH KNOWS ABOUT MEDICINE... WELL MAYBE

As you all know by now, I consider the barbershop the last bastion of free speech in this country.

During my latest visit, I was privy to a hot political exchange between to veteran politicos, one a die-hard FNM and the other a from-the-womb to the tomb PLP. Their exchange went something like this:

PLP: “Wells is the new MOH? He ain’t no doctor.”

FNM: “The PLP had plenty non doctors serve as MOH, including Perry Christie.”

PLP: “Yeah but none of them was as lost as Wells.”

Ouch! Check and mate!

I hope the new MOH still has his track shoes because he needs to outrun the “lousy” reputation he has built in one short week.

BOLD AND ‘BRAVE’ REQUEST

I really didn’t want to get back into this, seeing how ‘Briland Gate’ still gets me fired up to inferno like proportions. But sadly, foreign residents, are getting preferential treatment over Bahamians, and to make matters worse, some are expecting it. I’m still trying to figure out how this has become the norm these days.

So after not attending an emergency meeting of Parliament, PLP leader Philip “Brave” Davis asked Prime Minister Dr Hubert Minnis to waive new wedding rules for one of his constituents on Friday.

However, confirmation that Dr Minnis approved the request arrived in Bahamian time, in other words, it came too late for the couple to host a full-fledged wedding with more than five people.

How ironic, Mr. Davis along with the members of the opposition, skipped an emergency meeting of Parliament, and tending to the people’s business, in these desperate times of COVID, but he wanted to ensure his constituents wedding would still go on with no restrictions.

Priorities Mr. Davis, priorities. The jury is still out on you and the PLP amongst the voting populous as far as the next election is concerned.

There are lingering trust issues in relation to both Davis and the PLP party. This was a golden opportunity to shed a different light on both respectively, and all we got from Mr. Davis was more of the same old all buck up go governance we’ve been getting for the last fifty years.

LOCAL LOCKDOWN RATES

Businesses, especially the smaller local hotels are getting creative, in an all out effort to generate revenue from the local market. Adds for ‘Lockdown Specials’ have been in heavy rotation in the press and on social media, encouraging Bahamians to take advantage of all the hotel’s amenities allowing guests to ride out the lockdown in comfort and style.

Then the government said you need a proper COVID-19 test? And then they changed their mind. That was a problem for all of 24 hours, but looks like those “special local rates” are good to go.

MAD MAGISTRATE

It’s clear the effects of all things related to the COViD-19 global pandemic are taking their toll on all Bahamians.

Bahamians from all walks of life have been affected and continue to feel the effects of curfews, lockdowns, a semi-police state, unemployment, etc.

The coronavirus hangover has even hit the judiciary. It’s apparent the judiciary’s patience is wearing thin in regards to the lockdowns and the reason behind said lockdowns.

Despite it being totally and politically incorrect, Magistrate Andrew Forbes, said a mouthful in regards to the lockdowns, a mouthful that needed to be said - “The purpose of the lockdown isn’t to shack-up, the purpose of the lockdown is to try to separate persons. There are two heads on a male. Use the one on your shoulders.” — Magistrate Andrew Forbes.

Yes, we need to separate, socially distance and continue to be vigilant and aware as we are fighting an invisible enemy. Now is not the time for nonchalance and slackness. Please, take your boungie inside, and keep it inside. I will see you all, down on the farm next week with the next chapter of the Covid Chronicles.

Comments

Chucky 2 days, 1 hour ago

Naughty you’re perhaps our best example of stupid is as stupid does.
Stolen jokes, dunning Kruger syndrome all the way.

Wish u would just sit small.

You might make the odd tourist laugh as an mc, but beyond that , you are the joke!

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Clamshell 1 day, 22 hours ago

Hear, hear ... the single most boring self-proclaimed “comedian” on the planet. And he does indeed steal all his “jokes.” 💤💤💤💤

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OrdinaryMan 1 day, 21 hours ago

Both Chucky and Clamshell miss the mark with their criticism of INIGO 'NAUGHTY' ZENICAZELAYA's columns. His column on Bahamian life is his reflection and insights into our people, the trials we regularly endure, the frustrating regularity of incompetency and corruption most of us folks have to wade through daily. He lightly seasons these observations with humor - he does not strive to simply deliver a 'funny, comedic' column. Inigo is like Trevor Noah - an observer who looks at the semi-madness of life around him and tries to reflect it back to us with a spoonful of wryness. Kudos to him.

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Clamshell 1 day, 20 hours ago

He’s about as close to Trevor Noah as a snail is to a lobster.

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ConchFretter 1 day, 16 hours ago

Lobsters are actually closely related to snails!... Lobsters belong to the invertebrate phylum Arthropoda. Besides lobsters and insects, spiders and snails belong to this group as well. These animals are closely related because of two main characteristics that they share: they all have an exoskeleton (outer skeleton) and they all have joint appendages. 🦞 🐌

http://www.parl.ns.ca/lobster/overvie...">http://www.parl.ns.ca/lobster/overvie...

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Clamshell 1 day, 14 hours ago

So, if you order a lobster dinner, you’re OK they serve you escargot? 🤣🤣😎

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momoyama 11 hours, 55 minutes ago

Where on earth do you get your classification information? Snails are NOT arthropods. They are mollusks and they do NOT have exoskeletons. They (usually, but not always) have shells. They are gastropods, closely related to cephalopods (octopuses and squids)

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