EDITOR, The Tribune.
Apparently, there is a lack of understanding surrounding the Marital Rape issue that seems consensual. We know what the problem is, and we have had documentation in place since 2009 to address the issue with the removal and inclusion of a couple of words.
But a former Prime Minister is on record admitting that he could not get the support of both sides of the House for the much-needed change in 2009.
Perhaps we need to understand what will be lost if these changes are made.
We often make the claim that we are freed men and women, and slavery has been dealt with, but is that really true? If we were to check the historical data, it seems that we were only freed to become new slave masters. We picked up the robes of entitlement through a Constitution that was handed to us by the people that we were “freed” from, but are we really free? Every five years or so, our elected leaders still pledge allegiance to the Queen and her successors, and not to us, and they have Constitutional power to exercise that allegiance. They never pledge allegiance to those who voted for them. Perhaps we need to have that little tidbit changed first. We were set free to do as we please, to do as those who came before had done through the “rule of law”.
Now, some of you’ll may think I am knocking on a dead person, but the Queen has had her own struggles. Think about it. To reign for 70 years and know that a Queen cannot appoint a King, but a King can appoint a Queen and that he may appoint a person you may not have liked to that role, but I digress.
Here is the point. Because of a Constitution that is unchanged, men in The Bahamas have been given a weapon that keeps women in subjection. Don’t think that it is only a stumbling block for political types who know better (most of them are lawyers) but many Pastors and Christian men also have a problem – they don’t want the government in their bedroom, where they use marriage as a cloaking device to abuse their spouses. And, they conveniently forget that the minute they become abusers they are actually “under the law”. It seems as if the sweetheart and homosexual have more protection under the law than a married woman. Where is the equality?
Here is another point that is kind of hidden. Rape is also about economics and the prevailing status quo. If we recall, during slavery, rape was an economic instrument that empowered the production process, and women had no say, and some men did not complain because they had a peculiar kind of freedom. Personally, I recall sharing stories with the men of my generation, we had a peculiar thing in common; our fathers often gave us the impression that we were placed on this earth to work for them. I wonder where they got that idea from? I am pleased that the present Prime Minister has gone on record in telling us what the problem is.
Can he take this next step and boldly go where none has gone before? Can the Bahamians in this generation consign this aberration to the depths of Hell where it belongs? Or do we continue to perpetuate a situation that encourages the generation behind us to seek other realities?
EDWARD HUTCHESON
Nassau,
September 12, 2022.
Comments
audley 1 year, 8 months ago
Spousal or marital rape is a form of domestic violence and sexual abuse. In spousal rape, sex is forced on one spouse by the other. While the Bible does not specifically deal with spousal rape, it has plenty to say about the husband-wife relationship and its representation of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:32).
First of all, rape is not about sex. Sex has little to do with it, in fact. Sex becomes the weapon, the vehicle to accomplish the desired result, which is to overwhelm, overpower, embarrass, and humiliate another person. All nonconsensual sex is rape, whether it takes place within a marriage or any other relationship. Most of the time, spousal rape occurs within a physically abusive relationship. In the U.S., marital rape is illegal in all 50 states.
Some people believe that a wife must be agreeable to sexual relations with her husband at any time and that she has no say in the matter. They often misuse 1 Corinthians 7:3–5 to support the erroneous view that a wife can never tell her husband that she would like to defer having sex for a time. Some men believe that the husband has a God-given right to just “take it,” in spite of his wife’s objections. Of course, “taking it” without her consent is spousal rape, and God never condones rape. The truth is that sexual expression was designed by God to be an act of love within a marriage, and violence or coercion should never be a part of it. Forced sex is not love; it is the opposite. The Bible is clear: “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:19).
Unfortunately, marital rape victims are sometimes advised to “put up with it.” Too often, these women hear that they should be grateful that the rapist is a good father or a good provider or the like, and that it is their duty to “submit” in the bedroom. However, such thinking can inadvertently promote rape and an unbiblical concept of sex. Sex should be more than a “duty,” and “submission” in the bedroom cannot be seen as the complement of compulsion.
It is clear from the Bible that mutuality reigns in the bedroom. According to 1 Corinthians 7:1–5, a husband should provide sexual satisfaction to his wife, and a wife should provide sexual satisfaction to her husband. A wife does not have authority over her own body, and a husband does not have authority over his own body. They belong to each other. Does this mean that a husband can force himself on his wife anytime he so desires? Definitely not. What the passage teaches is that each spouse is to willingly, freely, lovingly submit to the other. The passage is about giving satisfaction, not demanding it. The focus is on pleasing one’s spouse. There is no selfishness involved. Forcibly taking what has not been offered is wrong and plainly against the Bible’s commands on love and marriage
carltonr61 1 year, 8 months ago
Just too many opinions are drawn that are not scientific at all and lacks data, just a simple thinking this or that as everyone has a brain. Data data data first. Then we can extrapolate from the point of clarity. Supporting factual data could show households that are married 20% to 25%. The age of persons and number of married persons that claim rape or sexual abuse. The psychological and physiological state of the individuals. Do married women under 35 want more sex or less the same for menopausal women. Is there a history of reported rape by the husband outside of marriage during say 50 years. Should marriage also contain a walk out clause. Why is it that 75% of single women say they 'have to get this thing ready tonight," or 'my door always open just call.' An unwed female could have any amount of baby daddies. There are just too many bad consequences thT will be drained from the 20% of married homes. As wives earn the power not to negotiate so will husbands inder psychological and sexual strain learn the various arts of neglecting the bed then negotiate out there. Assurances are out there that risks and no clear assurance lay in waiting at home. It is kind of strange to have a feeling like suddenly there is a collar around your neck attached to a chain and handler. Tie dog loose dog one will starve to death the other will find food.
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