The Tribune

Rev Angela C Bosfield Palacious

IT IS such a wonderful thing to see a loving father with his children. Every child who has a sensitive, caring, approachable and available father is truly blessed.

When it comes to rearing daughters, there can be such a very special bond between them, if the father is expressive with appropriate affection and attention, as his daughter will respect her father’s opinions more than even that of young men interested in her.

A few guidelines for

fathers are:

1. Compliment her (almost as much as you do her mother, not more) so that she goes out knowing that she looks attractive and will not be as hungry for kind words from others. Help her to feel confident but not conceited.

2. Teach her to appreciate her Heavenly Father as her most important source of love, and to love herself in such a way as to not “sell her soul” for material things, or to “keep a male” who may still “hit and run” anyway.

3. Model what it is to be a gentleman and a Christian, so that her standards are high but not unrealistically so, eg be faithful to her mother and never abusive, but not try to give her everything she wants.

4. Teach her how to do practical things so that she does not have to depend on a man for simple things, and feel that she “owes” him: e.g. changing a tire, checking oil, nailing up pictures, etc.

5. Be firm and kind, without spoiling her by allowing her to manipulate you to make poor choices.

6. Discuss matters with her mother and pray to agree and present a united front.

When it comes to fathers and sons, this is a vital relationship that needs more attention given today. We need godly husbands and fathers and this is best learned when it is modelled and mentored.

Some guidelines for fathers are:

1. Teach them how to be hard working, responsible with money, faithful in relationships, reverent toward God, and self-disciplined.

2. Help them make friends with law-abiding, focused young men, whose ambitions will not overrule their moral values and christian principles.

3. Listen to his feelings and teach him to express himself without profanity or violence.

4. Do not shame him in front of his friends or be so critical that you destroy his self-esteem.

5. Practice good communication skills. Keep your voice down and explain your point of view. Teach him how you think and reason to arrive at your conclusions.

6. Let him know that he is loved.

7. Make rewards suitable and punishments fair.

8. Lead by example.

9. Practice patience and tolerance.

Some guidelines for sons are:

1. Remember that your father has lived longer than you and can teach you much about the world.

2. Know also that your generation is also wiser in some things (e.g. for some it may be technology) so you may have to be patient with him as you teach him about the world you live in from your point of view

3. Follow his finest qualities and avoid his mistakes.

4. Listen to him, but as you grow older, associate with other wise men as well, who can also nurture your growth to maturity.

To all would-be fathers I say, in order to celebrate the gift and responsibility of your children and to find time to balance home and family life, limit the size of your family to have sufficient time, money and energy to spend with each one, and have them within your marital home.

To those of you who are already fathers, I encourage you to do your best for each child that you have fathered.

Work, pray, talk and play with your children, putting God first in all things.