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Victoria Sarne

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LIFE LINES: The certainty of uncertainty

As humans we like to define our lives with certainty with predictability. We believe that if we know the answers we will survive.

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LIFE LINES: Optimism is an app

Sounds silly? Really it’s not. And perhaps if you think about it in terms of tech, just like the ones on your phone and that this particular app could help you be happier or less stressed, wouldn’t you want to instal it in that computer in your head, your brain?

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LIFE LINES: Learning to think wisely

Most of us think too much. And most of those thoughts are unproductive and repetitive, like a tune we once played because we loved it but then couldn’t couldn’t stop it from going round and round in our heads for days.

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LIFE LINES: ‘Our world has now been rocked’

So the first question is: what have we learned?

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LIFE LINES: Finding inspiration

Last week I saw a post on Facebook from someone which said: “I don’t want to see any more motivational posts.”

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LIFE LINES: One day at a time

The current restrictions imposed on our movements are frustrating but they are working and are for our protection. We can all agree on that. The best thing to do right now is to accept these circumstances, challenging as they may be.

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Rx One Tablespoon of Common Sense Daily

If only there was a prescription to be had from a doctor for ingesting common sense, which seems in remarkably short supply if the current hysteria about the COVID-19 virus is anything to go by.

LIFE LINES: Tolerance is a double-edged sword

We are all fallible as human beings and learning to be tolerant of some differences in character or actions is necessary for harmonious living.

LIFE LINES: Write your own story, Cinderella!

Writing your story doesn’t have to be taken literally, although if you feel you have a story to tell by all means write it.

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LIFE LINES: Technology, like medicine, has side effects

Technology – a blessing and sometimes a curse. The worldwide web, the internet and a plethora of social media are firmly entrenched in our daily lives. There is now a generation which knows nothing of a life without social media. In 1990/91 the worldwide web was born, and although universal usage is a mere 20 or so years old and still growing exponentially, we rarely stop to think about a downside and yet there are significant signs that there are many relating to our emotional well-being and personal relationships.

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LIFE LINES: Instinct and intuition – your inner compass

Intuition, instinct. Those two words are sometimes interchangeable although I would probably ascribe slightly different shades of meaning to each, as intuition frequently gets used pejoratively, especially when used as a phrase “woman’s intuition”. But I won’t go there today. Instead I want to talk about that innate sense of instinct or intuition when you just feel something – good or bad – about a situation or a person.

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Life lines – A mind changer

This year that is almost done has been filled with many changes for me, and although one or two were more than a little challenging at the time, they have now mostly turned out to have potentially positive outcomes as I look forward.

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LIFE LINES: Be the leader you’d be willing to follow

Authentic leadership ability is often innate but not always; sometimes we have to learn those skills or habits so that we can accept that role comfortably and inspire others. We probably all know the phrase by Maurice Flanagan: “Some are born leaders; some achieve leadership; and some have leadership thrust upon them”.

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LIFE LINES: Mind how you think

There are countless books, online courses and suggestions on how to develop positive thinking habits usually associated with a title such as “ten habits of successful people”.

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LIFE LINES: ‘What’s Your Poison?’

Addictions or habits - we all have them to a greater or lesser degree.

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LIFE LINES: Be more than, not less

Why are we allowing the fashion, cosmetic, advertising and media industries to continue promoting youthfulness, as if that stage of life it is the only one that matters?

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LIFE LINES: Achieving genuine happiness

From time to time we are asked if we are happy and I wonder how many of us can genuinely state that we are authentically happy?Society, corporations and the media send us messages and myths about to how to achieve this state, assuring us that if we b

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LIFE LINES: Just dance

We are all born to dance, and who cares if anyone’s looking or not if it’s good for us.

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LIFE LINES: Why the rule of three is effective

What is the rule of three and what does it mean? The rule of three is something which we all often use spontaneously or apply in many different areas of our lives, sometimes purposefully but frequently subconsciously.

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Life Lines - Managing stress: Work from home

Are you tired of the aggravation of the slow daily commute and the stress of looking out for careless or dangerous drivers, not to mention the wear and tear on your vehicle?

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LIFE LINES: Have you cleaned your windows lately?

“A young couple moved into a new neighbourhood. The next morning while they were eating breakfast the young woman saw a neighbour hanging the washing outside . . .

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LIFE LINES: Worrying doesn’t change the outcome

“Stop worrying, it may never happen.” How many times have you heard those words? Probably often enough that you don’t really take them in any more but how true they are and, if you are the type of person who worries endlessly about all kinds of different things, you really need to take that phrase to heart.

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LIFE LINES: Where is your blind spot?

We all have them, blind spots. Things we can’t or don’t want to see. In some instances when we “turn a blind eye”, we are doing this consciously, out of love, out of fear, out of laziness or unwillingness to deal with situations, behaviour or character flaws.

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LIFE LINES: Actions speak louder than words

The headline, a phrase you probably heard more than once growing up, has never been more meaningful than now in the catastrophic wake of Hurricane Dorian. So many residents and international individuals, groups and agencies are doing just that – acti

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LIFE LINES: Good men – They still exist

Something a little different this week. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am someone who treasures the small gestures in life. They will give me pause for sincere gratitude and make me smile when I recall that moment, although it may not have been a big deal at the time for the person responsible.

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LIFE LINES: Can you take criticism?

Criticism – sometimes hard to take but often too easy to dish out.

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LIFE LINES: The art of being happy

How do we define happiness? If we were asked each of us would probably offer up a different answer or perhaps perhaps struggle for the answer. We often seem to think that happiness is or should be a kind of permanent blissful state with no interrupti

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Older women: Changing the conversation

The “change of life” is a phrase usually applied to women going through menopause and, more often than not, is regarded as a negative happening both during that phase and when it is completed. True, for some women it can be a difficult time with dist

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LIFE LINES: Keeping up in a changing world

“The cave you fear to enter, holds the treasure that you seek.” – Joseph Campbell

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LIFE LINES: Networking at work

The title of this column is deliberately ambiguous to enable a conversation about my two intended meanings: the necessity of so-called ‘networking’ for business purposes, and when or how it does or doesn’t work, with particular emphasis on how women perceive the use of networking.

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LIFE LINES: Change - a challenge or a threat?

Change of any kind is an adventure. The question is how you view this challenge? Is your attitude towards it positive, to be anticipated with excitement and interest as to the outcome or does it seem frightening and uncomfortable? The answer for most

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LIFE LINES: Women - afraid to be powerful

Power: an evocative word, and a provocative one, especially when used in the same sentence as the word woman or female. It often evokes an emotional but negative reaction in many, so much so that we as women have been told not be too assertive, lest,

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LIFE LINES: Are you a real victim or a volunteer?

Before any reader gets too agitated by misconstruing my headline, let me say that I am not suggesting that any of us volunteer to to be the object of the genuinely bad things that can befall us – such as murder, rape, or any emotional, physical or cr

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LIFE LINES: Living well is the best revenge

“Living well is the best revenge” is a quote from George Herbert, a 16th century poet. I don’t know what his motive or meaning was, but my interpretation which I apply to my own life is that to do so means making the best of whatever life throws at us, and making it count.

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LIFE LINES: Putting your best foot forward

Get up, dress up, show up. Words and an attitude to live by. To be our best and live our best lives, we need to take those words and elevate that attitude to another level.To live our best lives we first need to challenge the illusion of perfection.

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LIFE LINES: We will rock you!

I am unapologetically making the case for shining the spotlight on older women.

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LIFE LINES: Gratitude – It's an inside job

Gratitude. Do you spontaneously or consciously take time to feel grateful for the positive benefits or people impacting your life?

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LIFE LINES: Drawing a line in the sand

How invincible or permeable are the boundaries you set around yourself?

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LIFE LINES: The importance of EQ vs IQ

Growing up, most of us were taught that it is our IQ (intelligence quotient) which will define us and play the major role in determining whether we will be successful in life, both personally or professionally.

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LIFE LINES: Failing, but falling forward

Failure – a word that seems to have its own dark cloud hanging around it and one which is bandied about as being some kind of awful low point which might define us for a very long time.

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LIFE LINES: Who do you think you are?

By this I mean, how do you think of yourself? In a healthy, positive way, or beset with fears and anxiety? More importantly, who really wrote that script?

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An independent woman

Quite often “independent woman” is used as a pejorative phrase to perpetuate the myth that women are allowed to be intelligent, even well-educated and professionally successful, but that somehow should still be “kept in their place” – independent thinking or outspoken women being perceived as a threat to the existing hierarchy.

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LIFE LINES: Talking to ourselves

We all talk to ourselves. Our inner dialogue is always running, sometimes quietly and sometimes very loudly, whether we actually speak out loud or not. This inner stream of consciousness has a huge impact on the way we see ourselves, the way we behave and the way we interact with others.

LIFE LINES: Harnessing our thoughts

Why should we try to harness our thoughts, understand them or rein them in when we are frequently told to “think things through”. Certainly we need to “think things through” objectively and in a realistic way before taking certain actions which could be either physically dangerous, risky economically or emotionally hazardous. In other words, exercising some common sense in everyday situations.

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LIFE LINES: Discomfort – a catalyst

We all like to feel comfortable in our surroundings and in our relationships, whether with family, friends or work associates. Feeling uncomfortable is, well, uncomfortable, and affects our enjoyment not only of the moment but often influences our behaviour.

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LIFE LINES: Reaching out and leaning in

I will have a birthday this month and I usually make this event an opportunity to review where I am personally and professionally since the previous one.

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Design your lifestyle – Don’t lose your passion

Victoria Sarne continues her examination of life-changing moments and daily challenges

When I first started writing these articles a couple of years ago I deliberately chose the title – Design Your Lifestyle – for its ambiguity as it would allow me to write about design and décor or lifestyle in general, meaning the way we live our lives every day.

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Design your lifestyle - Friendship

Victoria Sarne continues her examination of life-changing moments and daily challenges. I was thinking about the nature of friendship, the different forms it takes and what it has meant to me in my life. I have a woman friend who lives in Canada and

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Reflections – It’s only math

“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date,” said the White Rabbit to Alice. My birthday arrived this year a whimper rather than a bang, but I was determined not to be late for the date with the rest of my life.

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